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Meet Patricia Camille Fernandez

Today we’d like to introduce you to Patricia Camille Fernandez.

Thanks for sharing your story with us Patricia. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
Around age four my parents purchased a piano. I was insistent, absolutely hellbent on playing it. By age ten, I started writing my own music. All throughout grade school, middle school, and high school people knew me as “that girl who sings”. I had a vivid imagination and would often eat alone at lunch. I would daydream about moving to a big city and becoming a big-time recording artist who toured the world. I dreamed of feeling seen and heard on a large scale. After school I would spend my time in dance class, writing music, and/or darting around my room, jumping on the bed. I still do this ‘darting’; my cat, Delyla, chases me.

My music teachers and church youth leaders were the people who believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. Phil Lean was my choir teacher in middle and high school at Francis Parker. He gave me senses of freedom, assurance, and purpose. On a few occasions, as a teenager, he allowed me to play a few songs at his gigs at the Hotel Del Coronado. He still plays around San Diego both independently and with Ron’s Garage. Outside of school I took the majority of my private voice lessons with Leigh Scarritt. Leigh would spend much of our lesson time helping me discover who I am both as an artist and independently. Leigh was much more than a voice coach to me; she was also an artistic wellness coach, and an extension of my family. She kindly and carefully crafted me into an authentic artist, guiding me to write what was true to my feelings.

Once I got to Belmont University (Nashville, TN), everything changed. Despite many opportunities to play live, I never took ONE. I felt unsupported and unwelcome as an artist, and as a person. I didn’t have the same people in my corner that I did before. Overall, I felt invisible. This, along with a general change of heart and mind, led to my return home to San Diego. I stopped writing music. Despite releasing an album in 2016 titled “Listen” with older tracks I’d written in my teens, I felt disconnected from the world, my music, my writing and myself. From then on, I stopped making music of any kind.

February 2018, I found myself without many friends or really any healthy relationships outside of my two ride-or-die best friends. I felt really lost. I didn’t feel a sense of purpose. I had to dig deep into my feelings by journaling, processing, and feeling. Eventually I wrote “Hope Will Lead Me Home” on a napkin while out and about on a date with my boyfriend at the time, Peter. Little did I know that little scrawl would change my life. My mom entered the song into the San Diego County Fair Singer-Songwriter Contest on my behalf. Before I knew it I was winning second place and $2000. I sang “I thought maybe I lost myself wholly but here I am again. Deep down in my heart, I feel the start of new life sprouting. I can see the light on this clear blue morning. I have hope inside, the kind that I am sure will lead me to a future brighter than I ever dreamed. Hope will lead me home.” And I really believed it.

From then on, I started getting more opportunities to sing live and taking full advantage of them. I played at the Oceanside Museum of Art, Nado Republic, the Hard Rock Hotel, Tin Roof, the Marriott Marquis, the Firehouse PB, the Pendry hotel, and most importantly the open mic at Café 1134 in Coronado, hosted by Tony Palkovic. The Café was where I began to both hear my own voice and feel heard by others. I was able to build a sense of self-confidence and a community of supportive peers in the same field of work. I believe this to be essential to any career. (The Café was purchased by a new owner during COVID.)

This artistic development leads me to believe that my best songs are my most recent ones. They are filled with optimism and acceptance. In the past I was mainly known for writing very sad songs which reflected my thoughts during times of crisis and pain, mainly heartbreak. I have written a couple sad songs this year specifically, but I’m coming to understand that pain is important. We don’t have to be afraid of pain. It can be the greatest teacher. I no longer fear what the future holds. Only hope.

We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
As a kid, I was very sheltered and isolated. My relationship with my dad was pretty rocky, especially in my teens. Once I got to Nashville, I desperately desired freedom of expression and choice. This marked the beginning of my non-music-writing-total-identity-crisis period. I didn’t feel I had a voice, or if I did, nobody wanted to hear it. “I thought if I shared what I feel out loud, that the world would surely shut me out. Slowly, I’d be left without no one, nothing, nowhere to go. No hope. No home.” (HWLMH extended)  I stopped believing that I had anything worth saying. So I stopped writing music and completely checked out of my life. I avoided my feelings for years.

Once I began really checking in with my feelings and implementing a little more structure and self-discipline, I really grew as a person and artist. “The ice age that once reigned in my soul is beginning to melt now. – Enameled Eyes (original). I’m writing music again. I’m becoming the person and artist I was born to be. I finally feel purpose and peace.

We’d love to hear more about your music.
While I am proud of having won awards, I am mostly proud of being authentic, vulnerable, and open. I’m a singer-songwriter specializing in writing melancholy pop/alternative piano songs. I sing and write in Spanish, French, and Italian. I sprinkle a few originals into my gigs, but I play mostly upbeat Top 40s music from each decade. Music from the 2000’s has a special place in my heart. I’m known for writing songs that are deep and emotional, and making people cry.  I’ve had people describe my songs as “raw” and that invigorates me. It sounds like I cut myself open and spilled my guts out on the table or something. I often explore themes of light and dark, power dynamics in relationships, waking up, mornings, loneliness, and sadness. I’ve even written a song about my cat! Some of my favorite songs I’ve written are “Hope Will Lead Me Home” “Let the Light In” “Moving On” and “Insomnia”. Check out my YouTube video with Dharma Den if you would like to hear some of my originals!

 

Pricing:

  • $100/hr first 2hrs $50 for additional hours (public venues)
  • $150/hr first hr $100 for additional hours (private venues)

Contact Info:


Image Credit:

Jonathan Edzant and Sound The Groove

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