Today we’d like to introduce you to Traci Williams.
Traci is a native San Diegan. She and all three of her children were born at the same hospital in La Mesa. When pregnant with her first son in 1989, she and her husband realized they needed to find a way for her to stay home with their child. They wanted to raise their own children, rather than both working and sending them to daycare. So, she started her own business providing offsite secretarial and paralegal support to law firms (before virtual assistants or even fax machines were available) since she had been in the legal field for several years. She had no idea what she was doing as far as business was concerned; however, she knew very clearly that she wanted to be home with her kids. That business supported their family for nearly 30 years!
Over the years, she became a single mom and was still fully committed to being a stay-at-home mom. From the time she was pregnant with her first child and for years to follow, people commented that she was doing something different as a mother and she should teach it. However, she wasn’t sure what she would teach; it came so naturally to her. Over time, it became apparent that she had been given a gift and it was meant to be shared with others. So she created another business and started down that path.
For several years, she had both businesses running. Eventually, the decision was made to take the huge leap of faith in letting go of her legal support practice so she could focus 100% of her efforts on teaching parenting and supporting children and their families. She felt that deep calling within her and felt an urgency due to the rise in youth suicide, depression, anxiety, cutting, drugs, vaping, etc.
Now, she regularly teaches a variety of parenting classes, holds teen panel events in the community several times a year and also does 1-1 coaching with families and children of all ages. Pregnant parents all the way up to parents of adult children attend her classes. She has written a monthly parenting column for a local newspaper for almost 15 years, and now also writes a quarterly article for a local magazine. She has published three books and is currently working on #4. She also provides daily parenting tips on the radio at 102.5 The Vine. She is excited to see the changes in family relationships that are happening through A Loving Way to Parent. She feels blessed to be able to blend her personal experience as a business owner, single mother and survivor of domestic violence with her 35 years of legal experience and coaching certifications to bring practical solutions to family issues.
She feels grateful that her life experience has all come together in a way that makes her effective in what she has been called to do in her life. Supporting children is her passion. In addition to A Loving Way to Parent, she is the Executive Director of SMART Moms, a single mothers nonprofit in the Temecula/Murrieta area (Riverside County). Between the two organizations, Traci stays quite busy.
Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
There are definitely obstacles and challenges that come up no matter what we set our sights on. Just being a self-employed single mom has its challenges. Yet, I was able to purchase a home and provide stability for my family. Being self-employed, there is a lot of pressure on your shoulders and it’s hard when income goes up and down. When you have employees, that’s another consideration.
Walk before you run. I learned how to prioritize and how to live with less so that I could have what was truly important to me… being at home and raising my own children. That was more important than getting a full-time job with benefits and a steady income. If you choose to go into business for yourself, choose something you really enjoy and feel a sense of calling towards. Do business with integrity. Treat people well. Customer service is becoming a lost art – value it and provide it.
Trust that God ultimately is your provider. If you are a single mom, you still have every opportunity within you to do what you are here to do. Breathe. Pray. Trust. Timing is important. Trust your instinct and intuition. Recognize that you don’t need everything to be perfect in order to jump in. You just need to be clear that it is the right thing and the right timing… for you. That being said, if you’re not sure, it’s not time. You will know the difference.
If you are a mother, cherish the years with your children. Prioritize the time spent and the opportunities to talk. It pays off in every way you can imagine when you invest in your relationship in the early years and throughout their growing up. They will actually want to be around you in their teen years and as adults.
My path has had many obstacles along the way that have threatened us financially, emotionally and in every way possible. We have endured economic downturns, car challenges, loss of loved ones, heartache and unexpected changes. Just know what you value and stay committed to that. Realize that no “thing” is more important than your relationships. Believe that you are supported. Know that you are here for a reason and trust the process.
Please tell us more about your work, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
What I do is bridge gaps between parents and their children. Often times, I’m also bridging gaps between siblings. I specialize in family dynamics and parent-child relationship building and am known for my practical and intuitive approach. I’m not here to necessarily tell people there’s only one way to parent. That’s why my business is called A Loving Way to Parent. I offer one option, a loving way. My job is to support parents in thinking about parenting differently and evaluating what is and is not working with each child. My work has a relationship focus. I’m most proud of the fact that what I teach is centered around the heart. Love is so powerful. I am also honored to have been a 2018 nominee for Citizen of the Year in Temecula.
I have created my own curriculum and it’s based on love, respect, kindness, and also includes boundaries. Compassion, forgiveness and the value of patience and acceptance is also key. I get parents thinking about what hills they want to die on and which ones may not be as important. We also look at life balance and prioritizing. As a coach, I’m always looking at where does a family want to be and where are they now? I help them bridge those two together. Even if each family member wants something different, I work on teaching them how to help each other get their desires and how to value what is important to another. I teach them how to be a team instead of competitors.
What sets me apart is the connection I am able to make with children of all ages. Even when kids or teens are not excited to come with their parents the first time, they generally leave happy and give me hugs. They realize I am an advocate and I understand how this world is different than the one their parents grew up in. They feel heard and understood and realize I can help bring understanding and connection where there is little or none.
Which women have inspired you in your life?
My mom was a huge inspiration for me. She stayed home with us, which was fairly usual when I was growing up in the ’60s, ’70s and early ’80s. It was her heart that meant so much to me, and her gentleness. My dad was very gruff and loud. My mom was calm and peaceful. Her full-time job was cooking and providing a loving home for us. She was an amazing cook. We would come home from school to cookies, cakes, pies and bread baking in the oven, and our favorite (and sometimes not-so-favorite) dinners on the stove. As a single mom, I wasn’t able to duplicate everything she was able to do but I was able to duplicate the love. My mom also exposed us to a lot of music growing up. I have often been inspired by songs full of passion.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.alovingway.com
- Phone: 951-240-1407
- Email: traci@alovingway.com
- Instagram: alovingwaytoparent
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alovingwaytoparent/
Image Credit:
Elisa Decristo (for photo in red shirt only)
Getting in touch: SDVoyager is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you know someone who deserves recognition please let us know here.
