Today we’d like to introduce you to Doah Lee.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Doah. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
I’ve been a singer my whole life. Just never had the guts to pursue it and thought it was unrealistic. This was just a dream that I had and that died a long time ago. 32 years old isn’t exactly the right age to be pursuing a music career especially as a female… so they say…
I was born in Seoul, South Korea and spent most of my childhood there. The greatest childhood memories were entering singing competitions and winning. I auditioned to get into an acting program in one of the biggest broadcasting centers in Seoul and was in a couple of commercials and whatnot. I took ballet lessons, Korean dance & drums and was always in the front and center. I took piano lessons which I hated and wasn’t so great at either. I was in the spotlight all the time and even at school, everybody knew me as the singer and dancer.
But, I had no idea that I was good. I just thought that it was my job. Little me didn’t have much self- confident since my mom was verbally and physically abusive. The term “Tiger mom” was an understatement. I remember wearing black tights to ballet classes to hide all the bruises on my legs. No one from school would even guess that I was constantly beaten because no matter what, in front of others, I smiled big and pretend to be this really happy kid. I thought I was the biggest disappointment, to be honest. My mom drilled into my head that I was stupid. I was told to lie to kids at school about my bruises and marks. If anybody asks, I had to tell them that I fell down the stairs. If I tell them the truth that kids are going to think I am a terrible kid and no one will be my friend. My mom even put limits on how much food I was allowed to consume. I wasn’t allowed to have seconds. I have a twin brother who verbally and physically abused me as well. I am sure watching my mom do it, though it was okay for him to do it also. My dad was always working late and wasn’t around much so I don’t think he knew what was really going on.
I hated being home so much, I use church as an excuse to escape. I was the only person in the family who went to church every Sunday where I was able to sing in the choir and perform during special holidays. I remember going to church was my favorite thing as a child. This was my chance to escape from the abuse and actually got to be around nice people and sing.
My family decided to move to Hawaii when I was nine years old. We didn’t know any English and my dad stayed back in Korea to work. So, it was my twin brother, my mom and I, in Honolulu pretty much unable to communicate with anyone for a while. Learning English was the first priority so, music and art was no longer even a thought.
Dreams got lost because, we were too busy surviving. I stop singing. But I did take ballet classes but, quit in 7th grade. I wasn’t exactly a good student during middle and beginning of high school. I was hanging with the wrong crowd getting into trouble. I was still going to church though but wasn’t really singing. I was really lost.
In high school, we moved to Hawaii Kai which is a more upper-class neighborhood. My parents decided that this will help us to stay out of trouble by getting me away from the wrong friends that I was hanging with. During this time, I was getting $5 or $10 on a lucky week as my weekly allowance. So, I decided to get a job. My first job was at Subway making sandwiches. This is the first time I felt “Freedom” freedom from my mom. I was able to buy my first surfboard. My mom hated that I got into surfing. She would always complain about my tan. I wanted to move out so bad so, I started saving money.
I met Stephanie working at Subway. She was four years older than me and she became kind of like my older sister. She got me into surfing and introduce me to all the real music that inspires me the most today. Aretha Franklin, Ben Harper, Led Zepplin, Guns and roses, Mo-town, CCR, Kansas, Beatles, Temptations, you name it. All the great music from the 60s and 70s is what she turned me into. Stephanie truly helped me turned my life around. She was and still is an amazing role model to me. I saw her playing the guitar and I thought it was the coolest thing. You didn’t see too many girls playing the guitar. That always left me curious. My high school friend donated a guitar for me. I was barely learning how to tune a guitar back then. haha
I moved out when I was 17 years old. Finally… what really broke the camel’s back was my mom and I got into a huge fight. She was coming at me with a hairbrush which left some marks on my arms and with a vacuum stick. It was a nasty one. I honestly don’t even remember what we were fighting about but, this was my very first time that I stood up for myself. I remember as she was coming after me with a vacuum stick, I grabbed her by the wrist to stop her from hitting me. I looked into her eyes and told her how sick and tired I was and that she needs to stop the beating and that I’m not a kid anymore. I think it might have surprised her. She backed off and stop the hitting but, she grabbed my surfboard and guitar, two things that she knew I truly loved, threw it on the ground trying to break it. That’s when I packed up all my things. I called my best friend Natasia and told her what happened. She came to pick me up. I ignored all contact from my family for about a month.
I brought my first guitar when I was 18 years old. I remember going to a local guitar center and buying a $100 Epiphone guitar. I was so stoked. I had no idea how to play but, just started strumming couple chords. Just looking up a few basic chords and thinking it was the coolest thing ever to be a girl and playing the guitar. I was going to a local community college at this time and taking piano and choir classes. When I transferred over to University of Hawaii for my junior year, I decided to minor in music. I took a couple of guitar classes which inspired me to start writing my own music. I was 22 when I wrote my first song “Our human race”. Not sure how and why but, I just sat down with a piece of paper and pen and strummed couple chords and started singing/writing. It just came so natural. I wrote “good girl” after that and a few more that I have forgotten.
Hawaii is such a unique place, especially for music. Music is deeply rooted in the Hawaiian culture and I learned so much in college; the history of music, different music from other parts of the world, different instruments, etc. So many great musicians come out of Hawaii for a reason. Bruno Mars and I went to the same middle school. I remember him killing it on the drum set at the school talent show. And one of the singers from the Reggae band “The green”, we went to high school together. It’s crazy how much-talented people come out of Hawaii.
After graduating from the University of Hawaii with a BA in History and minor in music, still pursuing music wasn’t even an option. I thought it was impossible and I wasn’t good enough. I was bartending at a bar in Waikiki making great money but, the wild me wanted to explore. I didn’t want to get stuck on an island. I packed up a suitcase full of clothes, surfboard and my first guitar and moved to San Diego. I fell in love with San Diego. Everything was so new. My first home was in Ocean Beach and I got my first job at Wonderland pub serving tables and bartending at the Marriott La Jolla. I was living the dream! Meeting new people and surfing all the time.
You’re probably wondering whatever happened with my mom and I. It took me a really long time to heal myself and forgive my mom. I constantly told myself, everything that my mom did only helped me to become a stronger and independent person. Everything happens for a reason. Before moving to California, I told my mom this and she started crying. I had PTSD for a long time. If I was stressed about something, I would have a nightmare of getting beat by my mom and I would wake up crying in the middle of the night. That was all of my 20’s. Lots of self-discovery and self-healing. I found myself as a very insecure little girl dating wrong guys and not knowing my own self-worth. Self-love did not exist in my world.
I couldn’t bartend forever so, I decided to move into corporate sales. Hardest transition ever, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I started as a sales rep for a solar company knocking 100 home doors a day making 20k a year. My boss was terrible and sometimes I would stay at homeowners’ house till 11 pm trying to sell a damn solar system. I had no idea what I was doing. I worked really hard, going door to door, getting doors shut in my face, people yelling that they’re gonna call the cops, etc. I don’t blame them. Haha, I got fired in six months. But knowing me, I am not going to give up. So, I started applying to other entry sales jobs. I got a job at Xerox and worked there for two years. I was Rookie of the Year the first year. After getting yelled at by homeowners, going b2b was a piece of cake, haha!
President of Xerox hosted a workshop where we read a book and talk about each chapter. I volunteered for a chapter that talked about doing things that scare you the most. I remember sharing with the entire company my passion for music and that Busking was one of the scariest things that I would like to do one day. No one in the company even knew I sang or was into music. They just thought I was a hardworking, bubbly, up and coming sales girl. At this point, I was obsessed with the corporate lifestyle, goal of making 6 figures, looking for that next career move that would make me look good in this society and chasing after what will make my parents “proud”.
So, I got a job at a medical device company which will get me where I want to be as far as the money goes. I couldn’t be any happier and that oh all my hard work is paying off… this was the job that is going to get me to 6 figures income. Little did I know… I was working 10-13 hrs a day driving all over San Diego, OC, LA. I hated my life. Yes, I was making good money but, I was so depressed. My boss was the worst ever. He made me feel like an inferior every day just talking down to me and disrespecting me. But I blamed myself, just like the little girl Doah would. It was a letdown. I was forcing medical device down people’s throats to make the quota. Not fulfilling just feeling like a jerk. This is when I realized life shouldn’t be about money or materialistic things, it will only get you so far in life. All the sayings like ” money don’t buy you happiness” etc. were starting to make a whole lotta sense.
So, I quit after six months. My parents were disappointed. I was disappointed. I felt like a total loser. All that hard work and you quit the job that others would kill to have. I was depressed. I was lost. I just took a job that I knew I wasn’t passionate about for desperation. This was one of the lowest points in my life. So, I thought…
Late 2018, I made a promise myself to live my life for myself. Not for my mom or others. I decided to do things that scares me the most. I started going to open mics and open jams around San Diego. I definitely was really nervous and scared but, with a little liquid courage, I went on stage and sang with my guitar. In the New year of 2019, I made some hefty new year resolution. One big one was finding a recording studio and recording. This was when the Doah’s Daydream all started to happen. I found Capricorn studio and started working with Kris.
Remember when I said Busking was the biggest fear? I bought equipment for busking, I knew I had to prove myself that I deserve to be a performer, Busking is like going to door to door sales but, for musicians and I knew I had to overcome that fear before I can do anything else. I was really really nervous and scared. It was 10 pm at night. I packed my car and drove down to Ocean Beach. My heart was pounding. I parked in front of the Starbucks on Newport ave. and stared out on to the street. Doubts and fear was all around me. I thought about just starting my car back up and driving home. But I knew I would be so mad at myself if I did that. I counted 1-3 and when 3 hit, I am getting out of my car. 1,2,3! I open the door and got out of my car and started unloading. My heart was pounding and my hands were starting to sweat. I was shaking a bit from the nervousness. I set up my equipment and sound checked. I tuned my guitar and I was finally ready. I closed my eyes and I started strumming my guitar and started singing. As I was done with my first song, I hear people on the street clapping. I open my eyes and there were 3-4 people standing. I sang the next song and people began to dance. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was so grateful. I had a few guys come by and watched for a while and they drove by in a truck later and one guy yelled, “you made me cry you know that?” WOW.
Music helped me heal and discover the power of self-love. I would be nothing without music. I was so lost with the corporate grind just following what the society says I should be doing at my age and as a woman. I found my purpose. Healing and inspiring others with my music and love. I don’t care how much money I have in my bank account. Ya sure, it’s nice but, that doesn’t define me anymore. 2019 is a very special year to me because, I accomplished more than I can ever imagine my whole life. We recorded seven tracks. My first single will be out on all platforms like Itunes, Spotify, etc. on 12/6/2019. We shot my first music video which will be premiered on 1/1/2020 at the holding company and playing a show there as well. I met so many great musicians, artists, become friends with people who I will cherish forever. I got to play shows at 710 beach club, Winstons, PB Cantina, SOMA, Amplifedpb, OB farmers market and I will be on 91X radio show “Loud speakers on 12/8/2019. We are starting to book paid gigs.
I was inspired by others but also being able to inspire others especially women, has been a huge part of why I do Doah’s Daydream. The name stuck because, music is what I use to daydream about. Never thought I was good enough to make it real. But now… I am making my daydreams come true. Some people might have doubts and maybe even laugh when they hear what my big vision and goals are. The trick is, when you believe in yourself the most and so convicted that this is your purpose in life, the noise starts to disappear. I am grateful every day to wake up and do what I love. I thank my mom every day for shaping me to be the strong person I am today. I am PTSD free going two years now. We are worthy of your dream!
We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc. – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
It has not been a smooth road say the least. Biggest struggles was believing in myself and knowing my self-worth. Being able to cut out all the noise to really find your purpose in life no matter what others or society might say. The biggest advice is taking action towards your dreams and goals no matter what. There are a lot of times where I say I am going to do something and I never got around to doing because, of self-doubt and fear. If you start to think too much, you will never get the chance to actually do it. Don’t think and just DO. You will make mistakes but, that only means you are getting closer. If you’re not making mistakes and failing, you’re not learning and growing.
Surround yourself with good people and don’t be too hard on yourself. Understand your self-worth. Guided meditations and self-help/motivational audiobooks will become your best friend along the journey. Get ready to work your butt off because, nothing good comes easy. So, do what scares you the most and celebrate often!
So, as you know, we’re impressed with Doah’s Daydream – tell our readers more, for example, what you’re most proud of and what sets you apart from others.
I am in corporate sales job (IT Staffing) during the day 8-5 pm. I spend the rest on building and creating Doah’s Daydream. I am the singer/songwriter for the band and currently recording at Capricorn Studios. I am very proud of my band Doah’s Daydream. The mission behind the music and the band is to inspire people, especially women to follow their dreams. turning daydreams into reality. The songs and live shows are unique since you don’t see frontwoman in a band often and also, Asian woman with a powerful soulful voice. Songs talks about and addresses things that women have a hard time expressing. Such as sexual desires and freedom. Liberation and celebration of women and just being able to inspire others that “You are worthy of your dreams”!
Are there any apps, books, podcasts or other resources that you’ve benefited from using?
Six-figure musicians by David Hooper.
The code fo the extraordinary mind by Vishen Lakhiani.
Emotional Freedom by Judith Orloff MD.
The Virgin Diet by JJ virgin.
I use social media like Instagram to inspirational quotes, etc.
Contact Info:
- Email: doahleemusic@gmail.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doahsdaydream/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/doahsdaydream/
- Other: https://music.apple.com/us/album/good-girl-drip-drop-wet-single/1488996884?app=itunes&ign-mpt=uo%3D4
Image Credit:
Adam Johnson
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