Today we’d like to introduce you to Jackie Leonard.
Jackie, before we jump into specific questions about the business, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
I was born and raised in the Coachella Valley, next door to Palm Springs — but consider San Diego County my home. It is where I dreamed of living ever since I was in high school. I’ve been a writer practically my whole life and was drawn to telling stories before I could even read. I created magazines of my own in elementary school to distribute to my classmates, and in college, was editor in chief for our campus newspaper. I went on to graduate school for creative writing, working as a teaching assistant and editor to the college literary press. Later, I taught high school English at a charter school in LA during my time in Teach for America. I’ve also worked as a paralegal for many years! While I have my own goals for personal writing projects I continue to chip away at, I find so much joy in helping bring other women’s stories to light.
This new chapter in my life truly began because of three things that happened in 2017: the Los Angeles Women’s March, a Facebook message, and the birth of my son. Up until this point, there are all sorts of things that I can share that connect to what I’m doing and who I am today, but it was these three things that set the wheels in motion and propelled me to where I am today.
I attended the Los Angeles Women’s March in January 2017, mostly tagging along with a friend I was visiting. It was the first rally or protest I’d ever attended, and at the time, I wasn’t sure what to expect — the magnitude of the energy. I was a little concerned about whether it was even safe to go. I’d recently found out I was pregnant, just having my first ultrasound a few days prior, and already felt like I was making decisions for more than myself.
To be a part of the largest single-day demonstration in the US was transformative for me. The Women’s March organizers challenged us all to continue to find ways to make ourselves heard. To act. To no longer be complacent about things that we felt were wrong with our country and our world. The march was the first step, but that alone would not change things. It was a beginning, not an end. I sat with that for a while. I wanted to do something but didn’t know what.
While this all was still spinning in my mind, I found myself subtly longing for connection with other women. At work, I didn’t interact with many new people and had only one coworker. The people closest to me were not new mothers — in fact, only one person in my circle was a mom — but her children were already a little older.
A few months later, I learned that two different women I knew were also newly pregnant. I think I was longing to have someone to talk to, as a way to share the experience of pregnancy and new motherhood. So, I reached out to them both, individually, and what started as a simple back and forth messages, turned into bonds that I will cherish forever. I leaned on both these women at different points in time during my pregnancy, early motherhood, and into today. I was also able to do the same for them.
This experience showed me how much we need this type of support in motherhood. We each had our struggles, but there was something so comforting in knowing that we were going through this huge transition together.
My pregnancy as a whole was very straightforward and pretty perfect in a lot of ways. I thoroughly enjoyed being pregnant. I felt like I did all the “right” things, was planning a home birth with midwives I loved, and my husband and I were prepared as we could be going into my final few weeks. I did a lot of writing during my pregnancy, journaling to my future child, but mostly writing about wanting to preserve who I was before becoming a mom.
I think I was really worried about motherhood changing me in a bad way — of losing myself in motherhood or becoming a person I never wanted to be. As much as I was excited for a new baby, I don’t think I had a great opinion of what it meant to become a mother.
I gave birth to my son almost three weeks early, after a super short labor, that resulted in me catching my baby by myself standing over a toilet! To say no one expected that is an understatement!
My early weeks postpartum was the biggest reality check of my life. Though my husband and I (and our newborn son) rallied together as a team and found humor (mostly) in the craziness, we had a lot of challenges. Our son was born fairly small, so he required a lot of feedings. We received donor breast milk, I had to start pumping right away and fed our son with tubes, nipple shields, syringes for six weeks before he started breastfeeding exclusively. I’d never been more sleep deprived and overwhelmed in my life. Months in, things got better in some ways, but harder in others. Motherhood continues to be this way, easier in some ways, harder than others — to the point that I am pretty sure that how motherhood will be forever!
At some point, a few months in, I realized how powerful and strong motherhood made me feel. I was in awe of women, and the capacity for what we can do and accomplish. I craved more connection, face to face with other women, but the “mommy and me” classes I attended didn’t cut it.
I guess if you mix all these factors, these influences, you get my inspiration to create Motherscope. Giving birth to my son also birthed a wave of creative inspiration for me, but very little energy or time to execute. The only thing I had time to do was write here and there. I saw this as an opportunity to go for my dreams and see where I landed when I felt complete freedom to do whatever sounded right. I had planned to take a year off to be with my son, but honestly, it was a year for me to figure out what I wanted to do for ME.
Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Oh man, I don’t think any road to something worthwhile is ever smooth! Add to that the realities of motherhood and being the primary caretaker, and it’s downright impossible to call anything about it smooth. That said, I know that 90% of what made the past year and a half most difficult was ME. I spent most of last year working on myself — prioritizing the needs and blocks that I ignored for so long. Motherhood helped wake me up and work on myself in a way I hadn’t before. The stakes are so much higher and I didn’t want to pass on my problems to my son and future generations.
Pursuing something that you are so invested in and that is a part of you also sort of cracks you open and exposes you in the same way parenthood does! So I learned a lot about myself — the ways I get in my way, how self-critical I was before, and how much work it takes and will continue to take to make sure I’m good to myself and prioritize my needs.
Once I started doing that more, the road did get a lot smoother. I found a lot more clarity in what I wanted to create and finally felt like I had something important and worthy to offer others. I don’t want to say there won’t be struggles. The phrase “new level new devil” comes to mind — but I can say that I’m getting better about knowing which struggles to give weight, and which ones to not let consume me!
Please tell us about your business.
I created Motherscope, a magazine and platform that helps women in motherhood use writing to tell their own story and claim their power. I wanted to create a space where any woman could share her story — and instead of focusing on being a “writer” we look at ourselves as storytellers, something that humans are all naturally able to do. I believe connecting through stories has the power to change our world problems. And to take that further, I think to do that we have to start with mothers.
The reason I focus so heavily on writing is that it is the surest way to self preservation. I have family members who have lost their ability to remember, and recall thought, long before they were physically gone. This might be why the idea of losing stories if we don’t write them down is so important to me. I think as moms, we are conditioned socially to put others’ needs ahead of our own, and we wait until everyone else is okay before we consider ourselves. I also believe that, in most cases, that perfect time never comes. So many women forget their own stories, never tell them, and eventually big parts of who they are getting lost. I keep hearing over and over from women about how they don’t recognize themselves in motherhood, and I think the surest way to connect with yourself again, the most accessible way, is through writing.
We have the agency to tell our own stories — the women in my magazines have done this — they’ve written stories down that can never be taken away from them. It is their voice on the page. If you share a story verbally with someone, sure they can remember and retell it, but that authenticity is lost when we rely on others to continue our memory.
In the past year, I’ve gathered stories from over 50 women internationally to create our two print magazine issues: Oh Mama! (a collection of birth stories) and Choose Your Motherhood (about the choices in motherhood). In November, I launched Write Beside Her, an online writing workshop and community for women looking to incorporate writing into their daily lives, and embrace storytelling. Our second workshop is launching in February for a new group of women!
I just hosted a magical storytelling event celebrating the stories of motherhood with live readings and writing exercises. One of the things I’m most proud of with this event is how much it was a collective community experience. One of the magazine contributors provided the desserts from her vegan Xicana bakery at the event, another her handcrafted organic hand creme. One woman who contributed to the first issue donated some homemade sourdough bread to serve. A photographer featured in the issue shot the event’s photographs. I utilized our local businesses, found a venue called The Momma Yurt, and the event became a representation of how much can grow when people come together in support.
This year, I’m looking to continue the same and more, all in serving my mission to provide women with the tools to write their own stories of motherhood and bring themselves back into focus.
How do you define success?
Recently, I was asked what my greatest success was, and I answered that it was me! I’ve made it to where I am for the longest time through resilience. So much of that felt like a fight — life felt like a fight. In the past few years, I’ve learned that opening my heart, embracing others, seeing the beauty out there has made me stronger — to the point where I don’t feel the need to be resilient. I can just be. My son represents that because his existence cracked me open. I needed to break in that way to become whole.
So, to answer the question, success and accomplishment are when you can recognize your power or purpose. I now see that I don’t need to reach a certain level to achieve what I want — because I also know there is no perfect time for most things we strive for.
The marker I look out for in knowing I’m in a place that feels “centered” or “successful” is when I can make decisions quickly. When I’m taking action, not overthinking or questioning my decisions, I know I’m operating from a place that feels successful. It doesn’t mean the work isn’t still hard, or that there aren’t still missteps, but they aren’t perceived that way. That’s what it feels like for me.
Pricing:
- Magazine – Issue 2: Choose Your Own Motherhood (print edition): $24.95 (incl. tax & shipping) https://motherscope.com/shop/choose-your-own-motherhood
- Workshop – Write Beside Her: A 6-Week Writing Workshop Experience: $100 https://motherscope.com/shop/writebesideher
- Next Event – Motherscope Underground – Live Reading Series: $20 https://motherscope.com/shop/motherscope-underground
- Share Your Story – Submit to Issue 3 (no theme) by February 15, 2020! https://motherscope.com/submit
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.motherscope.com
- Email: hello@motherscope.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/motherscope/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/motherscope/
Image Credit:
Top photo courtesy of: Courtney Kilian, friend
Oh Mama! Event Photos by: Cortney Wood of Alvarado Creative Co.
Choose You Event Photos by: Meghan Nicole of Rise Photo Co.
Branding Photo by: Tara Johansen Photography
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