Today we’d like to introduce you to Melissa Lunardini.
Melissa, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
As a child who was exposed to death, divorce, an incarcerated and drug-addicted parent, homelessness, abuse, abandonment, poverty, hunger, gangs and absentee caregivers; grief had been a part of my life’s narrative for as far back as I can remember. Much of my grief was disenfranchised (not socially acknowledged or supported) so I attempted to reconcile my pain the best way I could, alone. Lacking proper guidance and support my coping mechanisms manifested in a hard exterior, numbing, and self-medicating.
By the time I was a teenager, I had formed a serious drug addiction which caused a drug overdose that almost ended my life. It was the first time in my life where I was forced to reflect on what my purpose was. I often talk about the power that one adult can have on a child’s life because I know first hand how true it is. After my drug overdose, I had one teacher sit me down and tell me “Melissa, I was so scared that you were going to die. I don’t think you know how many people would have been devastated by your death. I want you to know that you’re better than this, you’re smarter than this, and your life is more important than this.” It was the first time in my life that I felt seen. I was 17. I can’t tell how powerful it was to be seen. It changed my life in an instance. It was in that moment when a teacher saw me for who I was and who I could be that my purpose had been carved out for me. I knew that I wanted to work with youth who had experienced heavy and hard life challenges like me. I wanted to be AN adult who would SEE them.
After graduation, I went straight into college to become a teacher. All I knew at the time was I wanted to help children and teens who were like me. I started teaching at my alma mater. I kept my room open during lunch so students would have a safe place to come, I set up mini support groups for girls who were struggling with self-harm or suicidal ideation, I used my prep periods to play sports with the athletes, I even took up coaching the high school softball team all in an effort to connect.
Teaching was so rewarding but also posed its own challenges systemically. It felt like those who needed the most support were those who couldn’t access the resources that they needed. This was another form of grief for me, and it was heartbreaking. At this point, I knew that I was on the right track when it came to helping children and teens but teaching wasn’t my destination. The search for purpose fueled my desire to do even more, so I started volunteering at a local center for grieving children and teens who experienced the death of a loved one. THIS WAS MY PIVOTAL MOMENT.
It was here that I got to sit with grieving children and teenagers and just listen. The interesting thing about listening is it is an intimate form of being seen. People talk about what it means to hold sacred space for someone, I have learned that holding sacred space is a just fancy way to say “I’ll sit with you and listen to you, why you do what you need to do for as long as you need to it.” And that’s what I did and it was in those “sacred spaces” that I fell in love. I fell in love with every human emotion (the good ones and the hard ones). I fell in love with vulnerability, courage, silence, weakness, and rawness.
It was brutally beautiful. I knew then that my purpose was to figure out how I can do “this” forever and if I can’t personally do it forever, then figure out how I can help others do it. Over the last 15 years, I have had the privilege to sit with thousands of children and teens and make them feel seen and heard. I have developed programs that serve these hurting hearts and trained an endless amount of professionals, caregivers and volunteers on how to support bereaved youth. Yet, there was still something missing. I had found my purpose and my passion but I was missing my platform. I needed a platform!
Tribal Grief was developed to be my platform. It is where my passion and purpose can come together to reach the masses. As a grief and loss consultant specializing in childhood bereavement, I am positioned to educate and train professionals on how to support the grieving children and teens that they serve. This includes developing programs that agencies can adopt to support children and teens who experience any form of grief and loss, even non-death related loss. My hope is that Tribal Grief will allow me to continue to hold sacred space for grieving children and teens and teach others how to do it.
Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Building a business can be riddled with self-doubt, conflict, financial desperation, pleading, and questioning. It forces you to put all of your strengths and weakness on the table and dissect them all honestly. This process is not for the faint of heart. I’ve come to learn that in the world of consulting there is no comfort zone. There is an “oh-no zone,” an “oh shit zone,” an “ah-ha zone,” and a “humble-pie zone.”
One of the biggest struggles I have come to face is finding appropriate and knowledgeable mentors. I think having mentors both younger and older than you is critical. I have personally leaned on the wisdom of many young souls to help advance my creativity, business model and program development. Finding young mentors is easy. Finding mentors who have 30+ years of experience under their belt are a bit harder to find. Selfish Plug: 38-year-old, ambitious, passionate female seeking experienced consulting mentor! Please connect with me on LinkedIn!
Please tell us about Tribal Grief. What should we know?
Tribal Grief is a grief and loss consulting company that provides educational training, workshops, webinars, and program development for professionals and agencies who serve bereaved children, teens, and adults. I have a proven track record for delivering practical and applicable education and programming that makes providers feel equipped to immediately and confidently support bereaved clients.
I am most proud of my company when I see professionals leave training with a new level of compassion, empathy, motivation, and eagerness to help bereaved children and teens. There are two major differentiators that set Tribal Grief apart from other Grief and Loss Consultants.
1. My educational blend of psychology and business. This allows me to create programming that is client-centered but is rooted in a sound and sustainable business model.
2. My specialization and years of experience in childhood bereavement is my other main differentiator.
Is there a characteristic or quality that you feel is essential to success?
You need a good GPA!
Grit- passion and perseverance.
Purpose- my reason, my why.
Ambition- strong desire to achieve (hard work and determination).
Contact Info:
- Address: 3456 Castle Glen Dr. Unit 276, San Diego, CA 92123
- Website: www.tribalgrief.com
- Phone: 7604855528
- Email: tribalgrief@gmail.com
- Instagram: @tribalgriefllc
- Facebook: Tribal Grief, LLC
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