Ryan Grow shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Ryan, we’re thrilled to have you with us today. Before we jump into your intro and the heart of the interview, let’s start with a bit of an ice breaker: What battle are you avoiding?
The battle I’ve been avoiding is fully believing that I deserve the life I want. I’ve done a lot of work to understand who I am – my identity, my desires, my voice – but there’s still a part of me that holds back, like I’m waiting for permission to be happy.
I’ve been hurt before – by people who I thought cared about me, by moments where I felt rejected or not enough. Even though I’ve never been in a relationship, the fear of opening up and not being met where I am has stuck with me. I want connection, love, intimacy – but part of me still believes I have to earn that kind of happiness, or that I’ll mess it up if I get too close.
Sometimes it feels safer not to try, not to hope too much – because then I don’t risk getting hurt again. But I know that kind of self-protection also keeps me from the things I want most. That’s the battle I’m starting to face: letting go of the fear, and allowing myself to believe I actually deserve joy, love, and something real.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’ve always had a huge love for film! From a young age, I dreamed of becoming an actor, taking classes, and performing in school plays. Even though I didn’t end up on that path, my real journey began at 13 when I delved deeply into the world of cinema. Since then, I’ve explored nearly every film out there. By the time I turned 18, I found myself captivated by the little details that make movies truly special, like the cinematography, soundtracks, and costumes. I decided to try my hand at being a film critic, and after writing my first review, I knew I had found my passion!
After college, I jumped into freelancing as a film critic for various publications, and it has been an amazing ride! I’ve had the chance to represent my outlets at Comic-Con and even participate as a panelist in a film class at Carlsbad High School. While the pandemic threw a bit of a wrench in some of my plans, I’m still excited and driven to keep pursuing my love for film. Right now, I’m sharing that passion on social media, connecting with fantastic people along the way, and creating some enjoyable experiences!
Okay, so here’s a deep one: Who were you before the world told you who you had to be?
Before the world told me who to be, I was soft-hearted, curious, and open. I felt things deeply and wanted connection without fear. I didn’t question if I was too much or not enough – I just was.
I think I knew what made me happy, even if I couldn’t name it. I was drawn to stories, emotions, and people, and I didn’t feel the need to hide or explain that. But over time, I learned to shrink myself – be quieter, straighter, more guarded, more acceptable.
I’m slowly unlearning all of that now. I’m trying to get back to that version of me – the one who didn’t need permission to just be.
If you could say one kind thing to your younger self, what would it be?
If I could say one kind thing to my younger self, it would be: You don’t have to change who you are to be loved. The way you feel, the way you care, the way you dream – it’s not too much. You’re not too much. You’re exactly enough, just as you are. One day, you’ll stop hiding, and when you do, you’ll find people who see you and stay.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? What are the biggest lies your industry tells itself?
One of the biggest lies in film criticism is that we have to be completely objective. The truth is, all criticism is personal to some degree – our identities, emotions, and lived experiences shape how we see films. Pretending we’re above that just creates a false sense of authority and disconnects us from readers.
Another lie is that only a certain kind of voice or tone is ‘serious’ enough to be taken seriously. But criticism doesn’t have to be cold to be credible. There’s so much value in emotional, accessible, and honest writing.
And finally, there’s this unspoken rule that liking something ‘popular’ makes you less credible. But art is allowed to connect with people. You don’t lose integrity for feeling something.
Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. When do you feel most at peace?
I feel most at peace when I’m alone with a film that really speaks to something deep in me. Watching Young Hearts by Anthony Schatteman was one of those moments. It follows 14-year-old Elias, who starts to develop feelings for his new neighbor Alexander. He soon begins to realize that he is falling in love for the first time, which brings more questions than answers. It’s a beautiful story of first love and self-discovery. It came into my life when I really needed it, helping me realize what I forgot I truly wanted. It has become a comfort film for me.
I also feel at peace when I’m writing something real, when the words come from a place of truth and I’m not performing, just processing. That kind of stillness – whether it’s in a movie or on a page – feels like a rare kind of safety. I’m currently in the process of writing my first book which has been really enjoyable.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.clippings.me/ryangrow15
- Instagram: @ryanthecrazymovieguy
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ryangrow15
- Other: Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/ryangrow15/
