Connie Kirkpatrick shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Connie, it’s always a pleasure to learn from you and your journey. Let’s start with a bit of a warmup: What do the first 90 minutes of your day look like?
My first 90-minutes into my day in the last few years has become one of solitude, reflection and intention. I use to get up and rush out the door, stressing over meeting someone else’s schedule, fear of punishment if I was late or did not comply just right. I burned out. It took a few years to recover and find the priority in my life is me.
Now I spend the first hour languishing, relaxing, reading informational and spiritually based books. Occasionally I pull out my journal for an update memo to self, reminding me to leave the chatter on those pages. A quiet conversation with self, which consists of Shadow and Divine.
Some days a walk with my dog, coffee, occasionally I will get caught up on the latest news highlights. Entering my day relaxed and with purpose. Meeting my needs first, with my clients needs following.
I have a much more relaxed day and my exchanges with clients are rewarding and fulfilling for both of us.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Connie Kirkpatrick, my current location on this world is Southern California in the country. I have a service dog who is a great grounding presence in my life. I am a country girl, prefer it over city life.
I am a lifestyle coach, Reiki and Naturopath practitioner, as well as a business administrative consultant. My skill set is multiple, crossing many domains. My first love is education, bringing information to others and providing and alternative view point. I am the mirror others see themselves in.
My education is extensive, degrees and certifications, plus a rich life experience with addiction, childhood and adult trauma, and recovery spanning 36 plus years. I have a mind that asks the difficult questions and seeks the answers. I do not believe that we as the human race should submit to someone’s “suggestions” without first doing our own research to ensure it is right for self.
I remind my clients they are their own healers, their own educators, change makers, I am nothing more than the guide.
My new community is about learning to have a self-dialogue, The Art of Journal Keeping: Self-Dialogue, offers insight, alternative information and stimulation into the self. I am working on turning this into a book to be published shortly. My inspiration is derived from the members, clients who ask questions, challenge my concepts and provide valuable feedback about their own processes and discoveries.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: What part of you has served its purpose and must now be released?
Over the years of somatic and shadow work I have become acquainted with the various aspects of myself that have protected and provided for me through the trauma and my addiction years. Entering into dialogue with each aspect of me I have been able to release the energy tied to them. Providing me relief physically, emotionally, spiritually and sexually.
My greatest protector was the Fighter. She was born out of the conflict in high school, listening to the rumors about me from another victim of my predator. The Fighter stood her ground and refused to back down from anyone. Challenging the boys when they confronted her, threatened her and attempted to demean her.
She was the one who protected her children when the man she married became the abuser of her and her children.
The Fighter is released, she is free to remain a part of me, but her energy is no longer required to protect and defend. However if there is ever a time that she is needed, she will be called upon. Because of her I live today, I learn and heal.
I do not believe we ever release and never have that aspect of self that provided for us. Once we claim it, see it for the service it provided, when necessary make amends for damage done by that aspect of us, we can allow the energy to flow and honor that which got us to this day. We are then free to learn a new way of providing for self.
When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
That journey began at about the age of 15 years old. Though younger I saw myself as a counselor to bring healing to others, but I knew first I had to heal myself. This was the age that I began realizing my own power. That I could make my own decisions, stand up for myself. It is also the time I first stood up for someone else, seeking to protect her. In that mess I stood for myself as well.
It cost me my home, being kicked out, disowned by the family, called a liar, etc. I still live with that shadow. However, I do not regret it.
I fell for a while, the Fighter taking me through many experiences, seeking a way to care of my children and myself, no income and could not get work, at least not the “safe” kind of work. I floundered for a few more years before someone told me I could make other decisions if I had the right information. I was in my 30s by then. With his help and guidance I found my voice again, dove deeper into the self, moved through the trauma and the night/day-mares that controlled my every response.
I discovered a new aspect of self, one that was a healer, a cheerleader, loving and kind. I set out to learn how I could be a cheerleader for others, providing the experience and strength to guide and provide a path to healing. I have never wavered from this path.
In the 12-step circle there is a phrase that continues to resonate: We will not regret our past or wish to shut the door on it.
I no longer have regrets. Sadness, but I understand that this was the path created for me and by me when I chose not to be a secret and to end the abuse of me and my girlfriends.
So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. How do you differentiate between fads and real foundational shifts?
I have watched fads come and go over the years. When I first started my recovery journey the man who set me out on it, reminded me of one Universal truth: Spirit will guide you when you get out of the way. I first had to learn how to get out of my way.
That meant that I learned about the next big deal. If it sounds too good to be true, it most likely is. My primary question is always “What will it cost me?” I do not mean financially alone.
In coaching, counseling, therapy, the helping professions that are to be a guide to others, new modalities, twists on old ones, coined phrases, etc come up all the time. The latest catch phrase appears and the purpose of that word is drowned out by the hype.
I am grateful to the teachers in my life who realized my brain had to be challenged to keep me engaged. The result was assigning me research projects. Teaching me to understand survey data, etc. I use those lessons and apply them to the current hot trends in any market.
I define the word for myself, measure if it has merit, then I silence the noise so I can hear the truth.
What does the word mean? What is the positive and the negative? Is it useful?
These are just a few of the most obvious questions. Then I watch to see how long it is a hot topic. Always it is short lived.
I review the materials, dig into the basics and discern if there is useful techniques and information. If so I look at how I can use it as a benefit to me, then to my clients.
Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. Are you doing what you were born to do—or what you were told to do?
Yes, I am doing what I was born to. I use to do what I was told to do.
Raised with the notion that a woman was to gain some education so she could hold an intelligent conversation, however her primary was to marry and raise children. Did not matter if she was meant to do more, there was nothing more to do. A woman was not a real woman unless she had a man in her life. And a few other concepts the women in my family were happy to spread, but rarely lived up to. The contradictions in life were glaring as I grew up.
I spent my years being the rebel, going against the norm and struggling to survive. I took what work I could qualify for, found a path that could have led me to death, yet I still believe the Divine in my life had another purpose for leading me through that horror.
I entered recovery and began following the dictates, demands of others. The “supposed to do” path, however, I found myself rebelling against it. Business attire, dress in a suit coat, no perfumes, no jewelry, minimal makeup, etc. Only speak when spoken to and when in a business meeting never speak up.
I failed, miserably. Told my boss at the time to replace me it was a waste of my energy and talents. I could not stay silent and would always speak my mind, standing up for myself and other women.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://aspiritualparadigm.com
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/a-spiritual-paradigm/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aspiritualparadigm/
Image Credits
A Spiritual Paradigm logo, Masters in Spiritual Leadership, RHA membership logo, Masters Science Psychology, Kundalini Reiki cert, ULC spiritual counselor cert
