We’re looking forward to introducing you to Kate Allen Fox. Check out our conversation below.
Kate, a huge thanks to you for investing the time to share your wisdom with those who are seeking it. We think it’s so important for us to share stories with our neighbors, friends and community because knowledge multiples when we share with each other. Let’s jump in: What makes you lose track of time—and find yourself again?
When I was kid, I was wild about theatre. I was in plays. I wrote plays. I hung out in my high school’s theatre during lunch with other drama kids. I even thought about being a playwright but my pragmatic side prevailed, and I got caught up in the business of getting a degree, getting a job, having kids, and all that jazz.
By the time I hit my mid-thirties, I hadn’t performed in almost 15 years. The pandemic was finally over, and I raising small kids. I was looking for joy and stumbled upon my first improv class. It felt like coming home.
Quickly, I noticed how hours could slip by in a blur of laughter and movement and community. I got to be funny again–something that I felt I had forgotten in the haze of early motherhood. More importantly, I was laughing. I was surrounded by vibrant, creative people, and I remembered why I had spent all my high school lunches in the theatre at school. It was where I could be myself.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am the author of award-winning children’s book about science and nature. I transitioned into writing about science after working in public health for almost a decade. For me, it was a return to my original passion–writing–after pursuing a more traditional career. I’ve now written my first book for adults–a parenting book about the power of play–which also incorporates my background in translating science and my passion for the written word.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: Who were you before the world told you who you had to be?
I believe that all people are shaped by play, myself included, which is one of the reasons I felt called to write my latest book, Go Play: How Parents Can Empower Kids to Build Their Own Worlds (co-authored with Gennie Gorback).
As a child, I was naturally drawn toward dramatic play, which is why improv feels like play to the adult version of me. My childhood was full of imagined conversations, stories, daydreaming, and poetry. As I got older, I felt that I needed to put away that version of myself in favor of a more polished and practical person.
Now, as I approach forty, I’m finding childhood self again–writing stories, performing theatre, and hoping to inspire kids (my own and others) to pursue their own passions with playful curiosity.
What fear has held you back the most in your life?
I’ve struggled with perfectionism for much of my life, deeply fearing failure and embarrassment. One of the reasons I avoided a more creative career was that I feared I would fail at it. I didn’t realize that not trying was a guaranteed failure.
I’ve been working to confront perfectionism in my life, and I believe play is the best antidote we have against perfectionism. In my life, I play through improv theatre. And, in improv, failure happens all the time. Lines don’t make sense. Scenes go sideways. Someone uses the wrong character’s name.
But, in improv, failure is also funny. The audience expects things to go wrong, and owning that failure often leads to a great joke or an unexpected direction for a scene. When we approach improv and failure with a “yes, and” attitude all sorts of new possibilities open up.
Every time I step onto a stage, I know my performance will be imperfect (sometimes deeply imperfect). And facing that has been wonderful training for the perfectionism in the rest of my life. I still have perfectionist tendencies. I still fear embarrassment. But, through improv–through play–I’m reminding myself that it’s survivable.
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. Whose ideas do you rely on most that aren’t your own?
Over the course of writing Go Play, my coauthor Gennie Gorback and I interviewed dozens of thought leaders who have researched and studied play for years. Gennie herself is an early childhood educator and play expert, and over the course of the past five years, I have learned so much from her about play and child development that has transformed how I think about parenting.
In the year that we were interviewing experts and writing our book, I took in many ideas from Dr. Peter Gray, Dr. Stuart Brown, and Lisa Murphy, among many others, about what childhood play and autonomy look like. Every day as I parent and homeschool my children, I view my kids’ activities through their lenses. I think about how my kids are exploring and creating through own interests and becoming the best versions of themselves. Before I began this journey into play, I was a very different parent (and person) and I know that my transformation is due completely to the ideas of these leaders.
Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: How do you know when you’re out of your depth?
As I discussed, I’ve often been afraid of failure, which means that challenges can feel, well, challenging. I’m often tempted to quit before I even begin and only do things that I feel sure I can accomplish. When I get that urge to quit, I try to reexamine that belief. Am I really incapable, or am I just scared? I’ve found that pushing past that discomfort has led to my biggest wins in life. To being the writer and person I wanted to be. I’ve also learned that when I feel “out of my depth” I can often call on others for help and support. To become a professional writer, I had the help of so many people in the industry (and outside of it). I may have been out of my depth when I started, but I worked hard and learned a lot until I wasn’t. These days, I tend to think that it’s okay to be out of your depth, as long as you don’t stay there; that’s why we learn to swim!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://kateallenfox.com
- Instagram: @kateallenfox
Image Credits
Shiri Puhovitsky
Lily Anne Photography
Broadleaf Books, cover design by Angie Chiu
Leslie Zampetti
