Today we’d like to introduce you to Jay Wylie
Hi Jay, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
Ever since I was a little kid, I wanted to be a hero… part of something bigger than just myself. So, from about age 7 on, I decided I wanted to be a military officer. I wanted to lead the adventure! I did everything I could in junior high school and high school to get a R.O.T.C. scholarship. I was able to do this and became a pretty successful Navy officer. In fact, I was the captain of a guided missile destroyer for my last tour of duty. But something happened on that journey. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was using alcohol to cope with my fears and the stresses of my Navy career. Over my 20-years at sea this developed into a serious drinking problem. In fact, it wound up ending my navy career and really taking my whole identity. However, as painful as that was to go through it at the time, it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me because that was what it took to get me sober. I have now been sober over 13 years and I run a recovery program that specializes in helping veterans like me to overcome their problems with substance abuse. It has been an amazing experience to turn the lowest point of my life into something that can help others. While I certainly regret any mistakes in my past that may have hurt others, today I can both be proud of my accomplishments in the Navy as well as my accomplishments in recovery. Today I look forward to being the best person I can be and to be of service to my fellow veterans, my family and my community.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
It certainly hasn’t been a smooth road. My naval career, though in many ways successful, was very challenging, very demanding, and very stressful. It took a lot out of me. In fact, that was a big part of why I started to drink so much! And the more I drank the more consequences I experienced. My drinking cost me my career, my retirement and even my freedom and I almost lost my home and my family as well. There were many painful days as I tried to make amends for my bad behavior during my drinking career. However, that pain has led to a lot of growth and now I am a lot more capable of handling life on life’s terms. That was something I was not very good at until I came into recovery. Sobriety has given me an “new pair of glasses” … I look at the world and at myself with a new perspective. I am still plagued with negative thinking which is my flawed nature, but recovery has taught me how to challenge these negative thoughts and see the world (and especially myself) in a very different light.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
Today I am the operations manager for an intensive outpatient treatment program four substance use disorder called confidential recovery. We help veterans, first responders, and working adults to overcome their struggles with substance abuse and achieve sustainable, lifelong recovery. It is such an honor and a privilege to be able to help my fellow veterans by sharing my hope strength and experience with them. My darkest days are now a way to light the path ahead for my shipmates in recovery. Being able to talk with community leaders, other veteran groups, and other recovery programs about how we help veterans and how we can work together to reach out to veterans in the community is a big part of how we are trying to improve our services today. Being able to reach more veterans and connect them with veteran services and programs to help them is extremely rewarded and much needed. I had a purpose when I was in the Navy but now, I have a new purpose, and perhaps an even better one, in recovery.
Do you any memories from childhood that you can share with us?
I was very blessed to have lived in a couple of communities growing up. I was born in Glendale CA but my family moved to Naperville IL when I was 5 and I lived there until I was about 13 when we moved back to Glendale. I got to experience Southern California with its sunshine, wonderful Mexican food, and the glamor of Hollywood, but I also got to experience the change of seasons in Illinois as well as the wonderful people and culture of the Midwest. It was a very rich experience. Some days when I’m feeling stressed or a little down, I remember looking out our back window in Illinois on a summer night and seeing all the fireflies dancing across our yard and our neighbors’ yards. It is a wonderful and peaceful image that helps me to remember the good days of my past and the good days that I want to pass on to my friends and family.
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Jay Wylie
