Today we’d like to introduce you to Sharmaine Magsipoc.
Hi Sharmaine, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstories.
Curiosity Over Fear began a few years ago when I went on the Havasupai Falls hike with my cousin Daphne. It had been a while since I last saw her, so we had lots to catch up on, and luckily, we had 10 miles to do it. In a nutshell, this is how COF was originally created: through curiosity that led to powerful conversation. During our hike, Daphne asked, and I answered. I shared with her my life story. I told her about a difficult childhood being bullied, about watching my parents have a volatile relationship, and I even shared about experiencing sexual abuse as a young child. My life is made up with many stories that I don’t openly share but my cousin, being the incredibly introspective and curious person that she is, engaged me with questions and created a space that encouraged me to share. At the end of the hike, she joked that it felt like she was listening to a podcast and suggested that I create one of my own. At the time, I had a blog that captured all the fun and exciting things going on in my life and I realized, I’ve come a long way. It’s important that I share the story before The Story, and I’ve always valued hearing how others have persevered and overcome their own fears. They show me that if they can do it, so can I. Today, it is my hope that Curiosity Over Fear can be a similar space and openness that I felt on that hike, where it can be a platform for others to fully express themself and be inspired to lead with curiosity and share their stories, however daunting they may be. Curiosity Over Fear is a result of powerful conversation, connection, and the people we know, like Daphne, who continue to empower and motivate us along the way.
When my family and I moved to New Jersey from the Philippines, I stood apart from the rest of the kids. I had an accent and talked, ate, and dressed differently from everyone. I was bullied for being different because people fear what they don’t understand. I realized that curiosity is a virtue that isn’t always nurtured as we age. Recognizing this, I decided to refuse any personal ignorance to develop into fear.
For example, I took on freediving because I was afraid of the ocean. It was an intimidating vast space that has the huge possibility of me drowning or get eaten by sharks. But I chose to learn from it and as I slowly understood the ocean, I came away with respect for it. Making that decision didn’t come easy. It takes effort to be curious and it’s easier to indulge in our fears. I’ve learned that ultimately, it’s natural to be afraid, but it’s so much more empowering and fulfilling to be courageous and curious.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
My biggest challenge so far in my journey has been imposter syndrome and with that comes defining who I am. Once you put yourself out there, you’re vulnerable to judgment and expectations. I don’t want to be pigeonholed into what people see or want and that is something I struggle with. But when I get messages from people saying that my story or an interview, I shared resonated with them, I realize the importance of imparting other people’s wisdom is part of my purpose.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I want to be clear. Curiosity Over Fear isn’t the pursuit of getting over fear itself, because a healthy dose of fear (the kind that keeps us safe from danger), keeps us grounded. Whenever I go in the ocean, I always have a little fear because it can be unforgiving if you don’t have respect for it. That being said, I don’t let my fear hold me back. We fear things we don’t know or understand. But if we can choose to be curious over being fearful, we open our world to be a place that we’d want to explore. It helps to see and hear the stories of people who venture out, despite their fear. People like Wasim Hajjiri who despite not having a job, family, and barely any money pursued his dream of moving to the United States and making something for himself. And today he is now a Forbes-published executive career coach/Author. Or when it wasn’t mainstream, Brené Brown researched courage, shame, vulnerability, and empathy and now gives lectures and Ted talks on how these affect relationships, leadership, and work forces.
I don’t want to be known as someone who is fearless, but someone who was afraid but chooses to practice courage and curiosity instead.
My purpose is to inspire others to live courageously and with curiosity. I try to portray that in everything I do. When I do that, I feel like the outcome is never as bad as I thought it was going to be and whatever happens, I grow from it. Doing this also brings me joy and gives me a sense of pride. There are too many people who feel bad about themselves. We need to build our confidence by doing the things that scare us to build self-trust and the courage to pursue our curiosity.
I’m proud that I’m living my life the way I want to live it. This took me a while to get to this point. We all carry visions of how our life is supposed to look like at a certain age or time. And when we don’t get to that point, we get disappointed. But I’ve learned that there’s beauty in falling in love with the process, with the journey to where we want to be. And the reality is if we don’t like what we see, we also have the power to change it. I like to remind myself every so often of Steve Job’s quote:
“I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
Part of that for me was cultivating a work/life balance that was fulfilling. I make sure I schedule time for play as much as time to grind and work. I also try to make sure I make time for myself. It really is true that the most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself.
I’m also pleased with the friendships I’ve gained, learning that intentionality creates solid relationships. I’m not afraid to go deep with people I meet. I’m not afraid to get deep in conversations with people. Going deep allows us to be vulnerable and when we’re open, we’re authentic. This is who I am and the type of people I want to be surrounded by.
Who else deserves credit in your story?
Professor, lecturer, author, and podcast host Brene Brown has been a big influence for me when it comes to courage and connection. One of my favorite quotes from her reads in part,
“I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage, or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time … Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”
I was taught growing up that being vulnerable = weakness. I refuse to believe that now.
I also want to give a nod to solo traveling because it’s helped shape who I am. Originally, my boyfriend and I made plans to travel and see the world together. Outside of the Philippines, this would’ve been my first solo international trip. When my boyfriend and I broke up, I was faced with a decision that I ultimately still stand by today, and it’s that I can give myself permission to explore and be curious, without being dependent on anyone traveling with me. In 2013, I traveled to South Korea alone. I ate alone, I got lost alone, all while making friends along the way. That time alone pioneered the many adventures that followed after, and it’s helped shape the love affair I have with traveling to this day.
So, give the thing that you’re scared to do a try. You’ll figure it out. Remember, you are resilient.
Contact Info:
- Website: curiosityoverfear.com
- Instagram: instagram.com/curiosityoverfear
