Today we’d like to introduce you to Angela Locashio.
Angela, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
I’m a sexologist. A WHAT? That is the beginning of a lot of my conversations! And it makes some people so uncomfortable. That’s exactly why I do what I do today. I started seriously studying human sexuality when I was 15. I was a bisexual girl growing up without my mom in a family that was not exactly accepting of difference. I was lucky enough to meet my friend, Sara, and her mom, Mary, a couple years earlier. The kindness and acceptance they showed me, along with the sex-positive environment that Mary created for her family, allowed me to explore my personal curiosity about my own sexuality as well as the role of sex in our society. I had a plan to be a sex therapist, but I got talked out of that idea pretty quickly.
Instead, I did something “more appropriate”—that’s what I was told—and got a job at a health clinic right out of high school. That was great and I enjoyed it, but the doctor who I worked for encouraged me to do something more. He was an amazing mentor and I credit a lot of my success to his belief in me. He really pushed me to do things that I believed were just not in my hand of cards. I was a single mother, making just above minimum wage. None of my family had gone to college and, although I was a 4.0 student, I was not a big fan of school. I disliked it enough that I even graduated early just to get out of there. So, I took my dislike for school and turned it into a career. Fast forward 12 years, I was a successful ESOL teacher promoting diversity in my district and getting a Master’s Degree.
At the same time, I got a cancer diagnosis. There is something about seeing the fear in your child’s face when you tell them that you have cancer that gets your attention. I knew that I had squashed my own sexuality as well as authentic needs and desires for years and couldn’t help but wonder if that didn’t play a role in me having gynecological cancer. I let that sink in and started doing a lot of self-awareness work. That was 2011.
Today, I am 10 years cancer-free and still an educator, just in a different way. In 2019, I went back to school again, this time for sexology. I had just moved to California and discovered Sex Coach U. I had an interview with them and was accepted into the program. I graduated in October of 2020 and became a Certified Sex Coach™. In February of 2021, I received my certification as a sexologist and, in March of that same year, officially registered my business, Mama Pistachio, LLC (there is a whole story behind that name and why it is so special to me, but perhaps that is for another day).
Along with working with private clients and organizations who hire me to discuss diversity in the workplace, I have a public Discord server for nerdy, neurodivergent, and queer professionals to discuss the different intersections of our lives and how they interact to create our individual life experiences. There is a section of the server specifically dedicated to sex and sexuality as well as a private space for sexuality professionals and sex workers.
So, here I am 30 years later with all of these diverse experiences, finally doing what I wanted to do when I was 15. And I am probably doing it better because of those experiences that I wouldn’t have had I started it then. And I am grateful for that. I am a sexologist. I study human sexuality to understand how people think about, feel about, and do sex! I educate, train, and coach others to help them integrate that into their own understanding about themselves and the world around them.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
Living in a society where the script is that sex is bad and that the only valid sexuality is cisgender, heterosexual, and vanilla is oppressive and restrictive for sure. Growing up in a family that doesn’t understand is hard.
Growing up poor and even being homeless at one point was hard.
Having cancer was hard.
All of that informs what I do today.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your business?
I am a certified sexologist. I specialize in neurodiversity, the stress response cycle, nervous system regulation, sensory processing, BDSM as a tool for nervous system regulation, burnout, intersectionality, and diversity & inclusion.
I am known for making connections between gender and neurodiversity as well as creating a home, work, and learning environment that meet our sensory needs.
We are intersectional beings. We cannot put a pin in it and say, BAM, this is the issue, here is the prescription to fix it. There is a combination of things happening to create obstacles and challenges to us all. Sex and sexuality are part of that. Allow yourself to be curious about that. And allow others to do the same.
I am proud to be a nerd! When not helping clients slay their proverbial dragons, you’ll find me chatting with other autistic folks, —yeah, discovered that after 40! —researching the sensory nervous system and the stress response cycle, or playing D&D or Phasmophobia with my family.
My services are 1-1 coaching for individuals and relationships, mentorship for professionals, and consulting for organizations to create inclusive environments.
Before we let you go, we’ve got to ask if you have any advice for those who are just starting out?
The concept of work-life balance is BS. Balance is impossible to sustain, but you CAN have harmony because it is more fluid. With that, do not listen to the BS that you have to do it alone. That is why so many people are getting burned out! My favorite authors Amelia and Emily Nagoski say “The cure to Burnout is NOT self-care. It is care!”
It is okay to ask for help. We ALL need it!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://mamapistachio.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themamapistachio/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/themamapistachio/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/angelalocashio
- Other: Podcast episode discussing work-life balance: https://anchor.fm/drudgeryanddreams/episodes/Work-Life-Balance-is-Bullshit-e1hdt3k
