Today we’d like to introduce you to Crystal Bettenhausen-Bubulka
Hi Crystal, so excited to have you on the platform. So before we get into questions about your work-life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today?
I can confidently say that I wouldn’t be where I am today without my spouse and the United States Navy. Over the past 20 years, we’ve had the incredible opportunity to live all over the world, including Japan, the Middle East, and Hawaii. However, San Diego has always felt like home to us. It was our very first duty station, and we’ve kept coming back, making it a cornerstone of our journey. Over the years, we’ve called many parts of San Diego County home, including Little Italy, Cortez Hill, 4S Ranch, and now Coronado.
While my life has been shaped by the Navy, my story truly begins on a third-generation family farm in North Dakota. The values I learned there—hard work, resilience, and caring for others—remain at the heart of who I am today. My grandparents were my greatest influences, instilling in me the importance of compassion and service. These lessons inspired me to pursue a career in gerontology, focusing on supporting older adults and caring for people at the end of their lives.
As a military spouse, I quickly realized the importance of flexibility and portability in maintaining a career through the many PCS moves (permanent change of station). While my husband volunteered to serve in Afghanistan, I attended the University of Southern California, earning dual master’s degrees in gerontology and social work. These years were both challenging and transformative, laying the foundation for my career and passion for helping others.
Today, I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in North Dakota, Hawaii, and California, providing psychotherapy and clinical supervision. In 2020, during the global pandemic and while crisis-schooling our three daughters, I started my own private practice to provide mental health support via telehealth. At the time, we were living in Hawaii, and although starting a business wasn’t part of my original plan, it turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
When we returned to San Diego in 2021, I continued offering telehealth services and, by 2023, signed my first office lease, allowing me to see clients in person. Recognizing the deep impact of grief and the urgent need to expand mental health support, I opened a group practice in 2024. Around the same time, I pursued a Doctorate in Social Work to make an even broader impact. In my doctoral program I am working toward eradicating social isolation and loneliness, one of the Grand Challenges in Social Work. These issues are deeply personal to me, and I believe that we can create meaningful connections and improve the well-being of individuals and families through collaboration, education, and community engagement.
As much as I love working directly with clients, I also discovered a passion for teaching while providing clinical supervision for pre-licensed social workers. Seeing the critical need for programs addressing social isolation and loneliness, I founded Strength in Service, a non-profit dedicated to social health advocacy, mental health services, and supporting military spouses in building meaningful careers in social work.
At the heart of my journey is a commitment to helping others. Whether through direct therapy, teaching, or advocacy, I strive to create meaningful change for individuals, families, and communities. My story continues to evolve, but the values and lessons from my roots remain the guiding force in everything I do.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
One of the most challenging aspects of my work has been balancing the demands of military life, school, and building a business. While I was confident in my decision to attend the University of Southern California, it required moving to a city I had never lived in, where I knew just two people. The day after we got the keys to our home in Los Angeles, my spouse deployed to Afghanistan. I suddenly found myself in a position where I had to build a community for our family while navigating my studies.
Childcare has always been a significant hurdle. Finding affordable and reliable child care was nearly impossible, especially during my master’s program. Our family expanded during this time, and securing infant care and after-school care for our older child was exhausting. It took a village to raise our girls, and I’m forever grateful to the friends and support systems I found along the way.
For much of my studies and the early years of my career, my spouse was deployed or away for training. Solo parenting wasn’t easy, and the stress and exhaustion sometimes tempted me to retreat into social isolation. Loneliness became a significant challenge, one that took a toll on my mental health. During these times, I realized how vital connection and community were for my mental well-being. My own experiences with loneliness and its negative impact were a driving force behind my decision to go back to school.
I’ve learned that the only way I can continue to make progress—personally and professionally—is by investing in my physical, social, and mental health. This requires setting clear boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and being intentional about goal-setting. It also means being mindful of “pivot fatigue,” that overwhelming feeling that comes from the constant need to adapt to change, especially as I balance the demands of my family, practice, and non-profit.
Earning clinical hours while living overseas added another layer of difficulty. To become licensed, I needed 3,000 supervised clinical hours, and opportunities were scarce while we were stationed in Bahrain. I volunteered at a local non-profit to ensure I could keep working toward my hours.
The challenges didn’t stop there. Today, one of the biggest hurdles I face is navigating insurance credentialing and the financial demands of managing both a non-profit and a group practice. Our work with clients and patients is essential to their overall well-being and rewarding. However, the administrative obstacles to joining and maintaining insurance panels are among my work’s most frustrating and time-consuming aspects.
An unexpected challenge was working with my spouse professionally for the first time. Part of growing the non-profit and group practice included realizing the workload and accepting that I would need support. I took on a new employee, my spouse, to support me with practice management and financial aspects like bookkeeping. While I was initially hesitant to accept his help, I knew his skills and perspective could be a great asset. That said, it hasn’t been without its challenges. We’ve faced new hurdles in communicating, balancing professional and personal dynamics, and setting aside time for our marriage and girls.
I have to admit that I’ve only drafted one email telling him he’s fired! Surprisingly, we’ve found that we work well together. Our 20+ year relationship has proven to be a strong partnership for business and marriage. What initially felt like a hurdle has become an opportunity to focus more on our shared goals as a family and less on the distractions that used to consume us. We’re learning to embrace our uniqueness as a family, including raising kids with neurodiverse needs.
This shift in workflow has been a significant factor over the past year, as our youngest daughter was diagnosed with epilepsy. While it was an overwhelming challenge initially, it’s shown us just how critical our presence is to our girls’ overall well-being. Having a business and non-profit that allow for flexibility means we can prioritize our family’s needs. While we’re swamped as an active-duty Navy family, we often work weekends and pull late nights; however, the benefit is that we can be more present for our girls, which is a pretty big payout.
Balancing my family’s needs with school, my practice and the non-profit has been an ongoing challenge, one I’ve had to learn to accept. Moving forward, I know I’ll need to adjust my daily expectations and embrace a more flexible mindset to avoid burnout. I’ve also had to remind myself to stay grounded in my vision and ethics while maintaining healthy boundaries.
Ensuring quality time with my three daughters remains my top priority. Overcoming daily obstacles to make room for snuggles, storytime, and simply being present for them on tough days is a challenge I willingly embrace. Parenting never gets easier, but it’s the most important part of my life, and I strive to be there for my girls while pursuing my goals.
Perhaps the most complex challenge of all has been allowing myself to make mistakes and embracing the grief and shame that come when things don’t go as planned. Learning to give myself grace has been an ongoing journey, but it reminds me to keep moving forward and to cherish the progress I’ve made, even when it’s imperfect.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know?
Mission Statement
Our mission at Through the Kaleidoscope Lens Therapy & Consulting is to support individuals in finding healing and regaining a sense of well-being through evidence-based interventions proven to reduce anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, and grief. We aim to offer compassionate, transparent support that fosters growth, resilience, and connection. With a deep understanding of caregiving challenges, loss, and the need to feel connected, we work alongside clients committed to embracing their antifragility, building confidence, and discovering their own self-worth. Together, we will rediscover the vividness of life and develop a renewed focus and clarity, empowering each individual to thrive through every life transition.
Vision Statement
At Through the Kaleidoscope Lens Therapy & Consulting, our vision is to empower individuals to heal from grief, embrace life’s transitions, and foster meaningful social connections. We aim to create a safe, inclusive space where clients can explore their emotions, restore balance, and find belonging. By integrating evidence-based therapeutic interventions and a holistic approach to well-being, we seek to support clients in rediscovering the vividness of life and developing antifragility. Our mission is to help every individual, whether navigating military life, caregiving, aging, or other challenges, to thrive and achieve lasting mental, emotional, and social health.
Do you have any advice for those just starting out?
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is what happens when I let down my boundaries and stray from my mission and goals. I lead with my heart, and while I embrace an authentic approach to business, that same heart can sometimes cloud important decisions. For mental health providers, I strongly encourage sticking to your professional code of ethics. This foundation is essential for building trust, maintaining integrity, and ensuring the quality of your work.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes—in fact, use those mistakes as opportunities to grow. Create policies inspired by those moments of failure so that each misstep becomes a stepping stone toward improvement. Always consult with others and conduct thorough research. I’ve gained so much from networking with professionals I admire, and mentorship has been one of the most important aspects of my personal and professional growth.
For military spouses seeking meaningful careers, I encourage getting involved in volunteering. Volunteering for professional organizations was invaluable to me—I built my resume, gained experience, and connected with others during my spouse’s Navy career. Volunteering isn’t just about career growth; it’s also an excellent way to combat loneliness and social isolation. A meaningful volunteer opportunity allows you to connect with like-minded people and find a sense of belonging in an organization that aligns with your values. Supporting your social health in this way can have a profound impact on your overall mental health.
Professional leadership training and mentorship are also invaluable. Organizations like the Military Spouse Advocacy Network offer mentorship and military spouse leadership training programs, including training from Harvard, at no cost. I gained so much insight and confidence from their leadership training and continue to benefit from the network of peers and mentors I met through the program.
I also recommend taking chances and stepping outside your comfort zone. Last year, I applied for the Pat Tillman Scholarship through the Pat Tillman Foundation. I was thrilled and humbled to be selected as a 2024 Tillman Scholar, chosen from nearly 1,600 applicants. Becoming part of a community of scholars who share a commitment to service, humble leadership, scholarship, and impact has been a transformative experience. This network of like-minded individuals has already helped me grow in ways I couldn’t have imagined—personally and professionally.
My advice? Get curious about who you are. Take time to reflect on your values, strengths, and goals. Then, create a plan—and a few backup plans—so you’re ready for life’s uncertainties. Build a network to support you, because life is never easy, but it becomes much more fulfilling when you have a trusted circle of people who share your values and vision. Confidence, clarity, and boundaries will be your compass as you navigate your journey.
And above all, remember: we are better together.
Pricing:
- Contact us for pricing
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.throughthelenstherapy.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/throughthelenstherapy
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThroughTheKaleidoscopeWellness/
- Twitter: https://x.com/lens_therapy
- Other: https://www.threads.net/@throughthelenstherapy
Image Credits
Alisha Mowery of Alisha Mowery Photography
