We’re looking forward to introducing you to Jessica Yaffa. Check out our conversation below.
Jessica, really appreciate you sharing your stories and insights with us. The world would have so much more understanding and empathy if we all were a bit more open about our stories and how they have helped shaped our journey and worldview. Let’s jump in with a fun one: What’s the most surprising thing you’ve learned about your customers?
When starting out as a relationship coach I became clear pretty quickly that all of my clients were actually looking for the very same thing…no mater their age, demographic, background or relationship status. They all had a basic need to feel seen and heard, with the threat (or fear) of being disconnected from those they love being the core reason that they were reacting in the ways in which they were. Working from that understanding has shaped everything about how I support individuals, couples and leaders.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I have dedicated my professional life to improving the lives of thousands of women, children, and men. Securing my place among the top ranks of thought leaders and relationship experts, I have the honor of contributing to the shifting of the way we view, talk about, and address relationship challenges, specifically pertaining to relationship abuse.
After extensive work in the private rehabilitation sector, intervention services, and numerous community initiative programs, I recognized the profound need for prevention, education, and professional training surrounding topics of relationship abuse. It was because of this need that I began traveling the country, speaking to universities, government agencies, attorneys, treatment centers, hospitals, mental health professionals, and first responders. Since then, I have developed unique training and certification programs for professionals and transformative workshops that speak to the community.
Understanding that unhealthy relationships and healthy relationships are two sides of the same coin, I became a certified relationship coach, offering private coaching for individuals and couples to help them realize and affirm their true value, find freedom in vulnerability, and step into their authentic selves.
I launched the Jessica Yaffa Coaching Institute in 2016, where we now offer a variety of services and support to those who are wanting to build deeper and more meaningful relationships, whether with themselves, their partner, family or within their work setting. This work continues to reward me and my team daily and I’m so grateful for what I get to do!
Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. What part of you has served its purpose and must now be released?
I have been a “performer” for most of my life, believing that my worth and value was based in what I could provide for others, how I solved problems and being what others needed or expected me to be. Working to dismantle this belief has taken a tremendous amount of time, energy and intentional healing, however I do now recognize my inherent value as being based in who I am, not what I provide. Coming alongside others as they challenge some of these same beliefs is one of the most rewarding parts of my work.
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
I have developed the most incredible gratitude practice as a result of my greatest suffering. It has allowed me to remain keenly aware of all that is good around me, along with learning how to “not sweat the small stuff”. It doesn’t mean I can’t have a bad day or deal with challenging emotions, but it does support me in maintaining perspective and giving myself grace.
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. Is the public version of you the real you?
Absolutely, I practice vulnerability in ways that can feel really hard or scary sometimes. If I’m asking the people I work with to show up vulnerably, I’m certainly going to walk the walk.
Before we go, we’d love to hear your thoughts on some longer-run, legacy type questions. What do you understand deeply that most people don’t?
Our behavior makes sense. When I experience someone or something that feels really challenging, or even off-putting, I will of course have feelings about it…but when I remember that those actions or behaviors are coming from a place of self-protection, wounding or even a desperation for connection (unhealthy connection is more tolerable than none), it helps to ground me in perspective.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.jessicayaffa.org
- Instagram: @jessicayaffacoachinginstitute
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-yaffa-cpc-3199766/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/healthandconnection/
- Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/jessica-yaffa-coaching-institute-san-diego-3
