Natalie Kabenjian shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Natalie, we’re thrilled to have you with us today. Before we jump into your intro and the heart of the interview, let’s start with a bit of an ice breaker: What are you being called to do now, that you may have been afraid of before?
The thing I’m being called to do now… that I may have been afraid of before….
Way to break the ice mates.
The thing I’m being called to do now is to go on tour; through my pole artistry and my sensual movement brand, FREEK FLOW.
I’m no stranger to being on stage, yet it’s usually not my production. It’s a whole other edge when it’s a movement that God has marked your soul with to carry through. It’s a whole other edge when it’s your voice that’s leading as its representative, especially when not that many people may know of it yet.
To dive into the throes of uncertainty… That’s definitely something that would have frightened me before to where I wouldn’t even be writing about it.
The potential embarrassment. The potential failure. The potential acceptance and love unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.
All this and more awaits as you enter into the unknown.
Something that I’m coming to find is that it’s in the unknown where God can meet you; where romance can build and trust can take root. Where aliveness can stir. Where the deepest levels of intimacy can bloom. Where you can see what legend you are made of.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Natalie Kabenjian. Also known as the Dragon Queen and MAD Mage of Mischief.
Professionally, I’m a pole artist, embodiment teacher, and relational intimacy guide. I’m the founder of ‘Pole with Soul’, where I support real epic humans who are up to some big things in their life in getting outta their heads + into their Sensuality while having the juiciest, passionate, ‘I just fell of my unicorn’ sex with their beloveds and themselves.
“Pole with Soul’ is also home to the transformational sensual movement brand FREEK FLOW, which serves to ignite the long forgotten or watered down Artist + Lover within you returning you to your natural state of Pleasure, Passion + Play.
We dare to fekk it up in this magically epic universe, where you will touch places within yourself that you didn’t know existed or didn’t think you could ever get back again.
This comes with a disclaimer: should you decide to get FREEKY, you will have a difficult time staying in your patterns; those boxes that you subconsciously or consciously have put yourself in the name of protection.
Hope to hold space for you on the FREEK FLOW dance floor someday.
May Eros be with You, Wild One.
xxx Natalie
Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What was your earliest memory of feeling powerful?
I don’t feel this is my earliest memory but it’s the one that came up as I read the question so I’m gonna groove with it. This was at the Armenian Private School I went to. I was about 11 or 12. I had a big crush on one of my classmates. I could feel he liked me so I staged this whole thing during recess of how he would go about falling for me hard. I learned the song ‘My Everything’ by 98 degrees, and asked a friend of mine if she wouldn’t mind listening to me sing this. I told her it was for me to sing to my family when actually it was to lure this bloke into the classroom. So I sang and my friend listened. Mates, there was a total chance that this would flop. That this guy wouldn’t show up, but somehow I had a feeling and chose to risk it.
While I was singing, his friend came into the class to pick up something. I had a moment of doubt when suddenly, my crush appears. He hears me sing and the look on his face told me everything I needed to know. 🙂
From then on, he would ask me to sing, even getting down on his knees, begging me. And it was amazing to see this 12 year old guy rise up. If he did something that clearly hurt my feelings, he would seek me out and apologize. If someone was making fun of me, he’d aim to protect and defend my honor, even when it was clear I didn’t need the protection.
And I SHOWED him how much I appreciated it when he showed up.
The things I now teach my students and clients, I was intuitively doing without having the words.
That was one moment where I could feel the power I possessed to magnetize. To hypnotize. To cast spells with my voice and body which came with a lot of feeling like this was ‘too much’ or ‘not a good way to behave’. And with THAT, came a lot of fear. Dimming this life force energy down because I didn’t want to possibly outshine or hurt people.
When you were sad or scared as a child, what helped?
I feel first I gotta share what didn’t help so that what did help can land more.
I remember at that same religious private school I went to we were watching the story of Jesus in Armenian. When we got to the crucifixion scene where the Roman soldiers began to nail Jesus’s hand onto the cross, my whole wee body got heated up and I screamed in pain. It’s like the nail going into Jesus’s hand was going into my hand. His pain was my pain. I felt such sadness and fear and anger. I didn’t know what was going on, but I couldn’t stop crying and screaming. The teachers quickly ushered me out of the class as to not disturb the other students then took me into the teacher’s lounge, telling me I needed to calm down and stop crying; that I’m scaring the other students.
This was one of many instances in my childhood where I was given the message that my heightened sensitivity was not welcome. That feeling my emotions wasn’t safe.
A big thing that did help me when big emotions such as sadness or fear would say hello, was telling stories through singing, acting and dancing, which, NOW…. funnily enough, are big tools that I use to support my students and clients. I felt unstoppable and felt connected to God (though back then, I didn’t know that’s what was going down).
Another thing that helped was having imaginary friends. A consul of characters from various parts of the world to support me in escaping from my current reality into the world of my dreams where Magic and Miracles were real, where authentic expression (whatever that is) was welcome. Which… I’m creating with ‘Pole with Soul’ and FREEK FLOW.
Alright, so if you are open to it, let’s explore some philosophical questions that touch on your values and worldview. Where are smart people getting it totally wrong today?
I feel that a lot of smart people need to get punched in the face. Said with Love.
Some of you folks are soooo smart, that you know exactly what crafty reasons to give to c*ck block yourselves from actually going for the things you know deep in your hearts to be true. From actually having the romance + sex life of your wildest dreams. You know exactly what to distract yourselves with so as to not actually FEEL what your bodies are crying out for, to let LIFE IN. For the real Magic to come through.
Here’s the thing. You can have all the knowledge (I see you podcasts, books, and courses), allll the awareness (thank you talk therapy and Chat GPT) and… all this is still you being stuck in your head space, playing the same old, dusty track on loop. It puts you in a state of control and the illusion of safety when the safest thing you actually can do is feel and follow the cadence of your heart’s symphony.
Read that again.
If you don’t bring your knowledge doooown, if you don’t put your smart, beautiful brain in its rightful place of servitude to the sovereign that is your body, you cannot ‘pass go’ and ‘collect the two hundred dollars’ God is calling you towards.
Your body is the motherboard. It’s also where the wild things are. Where sensation builds. Where emotion courses through. Where wisdom beyond what books can tell you reside. THIS is the place where things actually need to be TOUCHED. FELT. MOVED.
Moral of the story: You cannot bypass your body. And embodiment is the thing that’s desperately needed in this time.
Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. If you knew you had 10 years left, what would you stop doing immediately?
I’m stopping comparing myself to others. Such a waste of time.
I’m stopping abandoning myself and my dreams. Such a waste of exquisite energy.
Any threads of unkindness I have left towards myself, I’m pulling out and letting drop.
Any parts of me that are still avoiding intimacy with those I love, I will allow to be seen.
I’m stopping obsessing about the future and pressuring myself to get to that future vs surrendering to the present moment and letting life unfold like a precious gift that slowly unwraps layer by layer.
All this I’m actively shifting within me.. Whether I have 10 years or 100 left, I’m committed to dissolving these narratives in service to me living my life as the legendary faerie tale I know in my heart to be.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/nataliekabenjian
- Facebook: https://facebook.com/nataliekabenjian
- Other: FREEK FLOW Instagram:
www.instagram.com/freekflow
Image Credits
Primary photo was taken by the iconic Scott Cullen.
