Shiloh Reed shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Shiloh, really appreciate you sharing your stories and insights with us. The world would have so much more understanding and empathy if we all were a bit more open about our stories and how they have helped shaped our journey and worldview. Let’s jump in with a fun one: What is a normal day like for you right now?
I start my day first and foremost in “Mom mode”, getting my four children ready and out the door for school drop off. I then shift into office mode and spend my day seeing clients individually for relationship coaching sessions or in meetings with the other coaches in our practice to plan for upcoming events and workshops. When I get the occasional free window I enjoy writing supportive and educational content for my blog and social media to share with others. Before the day wraps up I get to jump back into Mom mode for school pick up, sports and all the evening activities. It makes for a very full and eventful day but I am enjoying every part because each moment feels purposeful and intentional.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I went to grad school about 15 years ago for my MA in Marriage and Family Therapy. At the time I was working at an in patient residential treatment facility for eating disorders while simultaneously completing my grad school practicum as an MFTi. I completed my MFTi at a local agency that served survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. I became trained in individual, and family therapy while also facilitating trauma-informed support groups. I was immediately drawn in, and wanted to learn more about trauma-informed therapy and the growing population of people who were experiencing relationship abuse. It was around this time that I was connected with Jessica Yaffa who was paving a road for more honest and open conversations around this really difficult topic. She introduced me to her non-profit organization (NoSilence NoViolence) where I began volunteering for many years to come, in various different roles ranging from leading teenage support groups, curriculum writing, a board position and educational outreach. My position and involvement lessened over the years while I had my own children and focused on my young family.
Many years later, while still remaining in association with NoSilence No Violence, I began to feel called back into the field to continue this work. After many conversations around how I could best serve this community I decided to get my Relationship Coaching Certification and dive back into additional current training. In the last 3 years I have trained to become certified as an Embodiment Coach with specific instructor training in Non-Linear Movement Method™ – a modality of somatic movement. This training launched my interest into Somatic Therapy as it pertains to working with trauma, with an emphasis on nervous system health.
I am now operating as a Certified Relationship Coach and Somatic Practitioner, and my trauma-informed coaching practice is centered around building meaningful, safe and aligned relationships through body-based awareness/practices and nervous system regulation. By integrating somatics and principles from Attachment Theory, Somatic Parts Work, and Polyvagal Theory, I seek to help clients understand how their mind, body and emotions respond to stress, trauma and relationship dynamics. My approach supports clients in creating emotional safety and trust, helping them to feel more aligned, connected and understood in their relationships.
I am still working closely with NoSilence NoViolence and continue to share passion in creating more awareness and open conversation around this growing issue.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: What relationship most shaped how you see yourself?
I would have to say my Mother and that is because she really set the tone by her own actions, not just advice. She always told me to find something I am passionate about and enjoy doing because work will never feel like work when you’re doing what you love. That has really driven so many of my professional decisions as I wanted to apply my hard work and dedication towards something that filled me up and lit a fire to continue to grow, expand and seek depth. I would share the same advice with my children because at the end of everything what really matters is that you followed your own path and not one that someone set forth for you as an expectation.
What fear has held you back the most in your life?
Oh I feel like I could count so many haha but I think the mot profound which applies today is the fear of what others might think. As a people pleaser myself, so much of my fear was driven out of my own thoughts about how someone else might perceive my choices or the work I am doing. One of the common questions I get asked is, “Why did you decide to work with domestic violence specifically?” I dodged this question for a lot of my life out of fear someone would find out I was once in the same shoes as the women I help now. The fear was that if they knew I had once also been in an abusive relationship that my knowledge, experience and education would then all be discredited.
What I have since reframed that fear to be (and continue to do so, honestly) is that I am not defined by past, good, bad or other. My experience as a relationship abuse survivor has only deepened my understanding of these complex dynamics, and grew my empathy for those who are currently navigating these difficult and often shame filled conversations. It is because of my experience that I know how challenging this road can be, and how lonely it can often feel. That in itself will always be my solid reminder to treat each person’s story and journey as their own individual path. My only goal is to walk alongside them and support them in whatever capacity they see fit.
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. Is the public version of you the real you?
YES! What you see is what you get. I value authenticity and true connection over any reputation or facade. I believe I am not for everyone and I am the right fit for others – and both of those are absolutely ok with me. It’s not about me, it’s about the right connection and alignment to move in the direction of our goals. I am a pretty open and honest person, with healthy boundaries of course, but I truly believe that connection is medicine. True connection, safe and vulnerability requires us to be real and human over being “right or perfect”. So first and foremost I am an equal person to everyone I come into contact with. My education, title or training doesn’t make me any more or less than the next person, and I say that to emphasize that the safe and trusted relationship yields more benefit than any statistic, therapeutic modality or certification can.
I like to keep it real…and truly that is also because I like others to keep it real with me too!
Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. What will you regret not doing?
Trying any and everything that has been a thoughtful interest. I have so many different passions that light me up, and many of them are totally unrelated, sometimes making it difficult to pursue them all or at the same time. I have worked many different types of jobs, volunteered internationally, earned my MA in MTF, started a full time photography business, returned to Professional Coaching, teach other photographers, public speak/educate, lead educational parenting and wellness workshops, and I don’t believe that will be the end of it either. We get one life and I never want to feel like I had an interest I didn’t pursue, but wished I had.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.integrativerising.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/integrative_rising
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shiloh-reed-66221216
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@nosilence_noviolence
- Other: BLOG:
https://www.integrativerising.com/blog/
