Today we’d like to introduce you to Delveen Tahir.
Delveen, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
I am one of ten children born to Ahmad Tahir and Amina Muhammed of Zaxo, Kurdistan in Northern Iraq. My early life was traumatic and painful. My family had to flee to the mountains of Kurdistan in 1991 to avoid being killed by the regime of Saddam Hussein. I lost two brothers in the process. One was miscarried because my mother fell on rocks in the mountains. My other brother, Tahir, died of starvation in the mountains. My family escaped with literally nothing but the clothes on our backs.
In 1996, my family and I came to the United States as Kurdish refugees. Life was not easy, but we have made the most of every opportunity that we were given. I am where I am because of my exceptional parents. They dedicated their entire lives to make sure their children had a safe and comfortable future while helping others in need. My siblings and I have inherited their strength and the obligation to help others and to treat everyone with respect.
Today, I am a survivor who lives with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), but I refuse to let my disability to control me. I am determined to live my best life while helping others do the same.
We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc. – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
Many of my family members, including my father and uncles, were tortured, and some family members were murdered by the regime of Saddam Hussein. My family was targeted because my father was assisting the U.S Army in the 1990s. We fled from our home in 1996, leaving our family members, friends, and belongings behind. Our journey took us from Iraq to Turkey, Guam, Kansas City, and then finally to San Diego.
After arriving in the U.S., I experienced culture shock and I had difficulty fitting in. My peers bullied me because I looked different, did not speak English, and was unable to express myself. I had to express myself through body language to inform my teachers of my needs.
I struggled to make sense of my new life in the United States. However, it was not until I was in my master’s program (Rehabilitation Counseling) at San Diego State University that I was finally diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or Post-Traumatic Stress (PTS). My struggles to fall asleep and being constantly startled by the unexpected all made sense.
My advice to young women who are starting their journey is to look to their mothers for guidance and direction. My mother had dreams of becoming a nurse in Kurdistan, but she never had the opportunity to fulfill her dreams due to the war, but she continues to go to adult educational courses to keep developing her skills. She has always encouraged her children to keep striving for our goals and to never stop. She also taught my sisters and me to always support other women’s accomplishments because they are making a difference in their lives, communities, and the world. My mother, four sisters, and I are very close and support each other in every way possible.
I would also recommend young women to trust in themselves and don’t be afraid to start their journey. It is important we communicate with everyone in our lives and be open to new opportunities and challenges each day. I have learned do not take criticism so seriously or personally, but consume the negative as an opportunity to learn and grow in every aspect of our life. Success doesn’t happen overnight. It takes patience, energy, passion, love, support, time, expressing gratitude for the lessons learned from your failures, and reflecting on your achievements.
Please tell us more about your work, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
I received my Bachelor’s in Social Work and a Master’s in Rehabilitation Counseling from San Diego State University, I currently work as a Disability Program Manager (Office of Equal Employment Opportunity), with the Department of the Navy. My work is very rewarding. I have many face-to-face meetings with customers, supervisors, and other stakeholders to accommodate the customers due to their medical conditions, and I work on other projects to support the mission. The most important thing is to be able to listen to individuals. People just want to be heard. We all have challenges we go through, and it is of great importance to listen to individuals and have emotional intelligence where I work. It is so essential to have a positive attitude and create a positive environment for myself, co-workers, and customers.
No one wants to be around “energy vampires” that drain you, and I do my best to keep a smile on my face even if I am having a bad day because people catch on to negative vibes quickly. In my spare time, I like to volunteer in the community, mentor and spread positivity to make the world a better place for family, friends, co-workers, strangers, and on social media. No matter what you are going through, just keep going, because, in the end, it will all be worth it.
I believe women have come a long way compared to 50 years ago. For example, women are in leadership positions and are pushing the boundaries by utilizing their strengths, experiences, and leadership skills to make a worldwide change. There are many barriers today to female leadership, but women must support one another. It starts with us to stop the small and the biggest barriers, and come together to make positive change happen.
We as women have to fully embrace our positions and not be afraid to take on leadership roles or duties, and focus on our own personal goals and plans. We have a long way to go, but equal pay would help many women tremendously. We must speak with courage and not avoid the difficult conversations. Those difficult conversations can change the world.
I encourage you to advocate for yourself and to seek out people who will support you so you can continue to grow personally and professionally. No matter what position you find yourself in, always be humble and do your best. Opportunities will be knocking on your door when you advocate for yourself and no one can take them away from you. You got this butterflies. Keep flying! Let’s fly together and make a difference in the world.
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Image Credit:
Lee Ryan
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