Today we’d like to introduce you to Shiva J.
Hi Shiva, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
There was a time when my life revolved around the gym. As a fitness professional, I was focused on helping others transform their bodies—driving them to push harder, run faster, and lift more. On the surface, it was fulfilling, but beneath it, I felt a longing for something deeper. I began to see that while I was helping others sculpt their bodies, I wasn’t guiding them toward the deeper transformations they truly craved—or that I needed for myself.
Then, the dark night of my soul arrived.
The dissolution of my marriage shattered the foundation of my carefully constructed life. The dynamic between my ex-wife and me had been a constant battle of unbalanced masculine energies—a clash of control with no room for surrender or vulnerability. I was ungrounded, disconnected, and blind to the presence and strength my partner needed from me. The pain of this realization cracked me open, forcing me to confront the shadows I had avoided for so long.
This rupture became the gateway to a deeper truth.
The path began with a 10-day silent meditation retreat. It was here, in the stillness I had avoided all my life, that I learned to anchor myself in the present moment. The experience was profoundly challenging, especially for my ADHD mind, but by day ten, I found a stillness I never knew existed. From there, I attended a 10-day Breathwork retreat, where I released years of pent-up anger and sadness, shedding layers of emotional armor I hadn’t realized I was carrying.
These experiences led me to Tulum, Mexico, for a Spiritual Practitioner Training with my teacher, Chandrika. It was here that I encountered Tantra—not as a misunderstood concept of sensuality but as a sacred path of integration. Tantra taught me to honor and balance the masculine and feminine energies within me, to embrace the light and shadow as equal parts of my being. The practices I learned in Tulum planted the seeds of transformation, but the soil needed further cultivation.
When I returned home, I was drawn to attend a local men’s retreat. This experience invited me to go deeper than I ever had before. It challenged me to confront what it truly means to be a man. Through raw honesty and reflection, I took ownership of my sexual expression, facing the shame and confusion I had carried for years. I confronted my childhood traumas—the wounds of abuse and abandonment that had silently shaped my life. For the first time, I felt the power of being seen and held by other men without judgment, a brotherhood that challenged me to step into my authentic masculinity.
This retreat was transformational, but the journey didn’t end there. Soon after, I attended a shamanic retreat, which plunged me even deeper into the realms of my soul. This was where I truly faced my full sexual expression, confronting the limitations I had placed on myself and the unconscious patterns that shaped my relationships with women. The shamanic work peeled back layers I hadn’t even known were there, inviting me to see the divine and the wounded in my interactions with the feminine. I learned to honor my desires without shame and to connect with women from a place of reverence and authenticity rather than fear or projection.
These experiences completed a cycle of healing I hadn’t realized was incomplete.
I came to understand that masculinity wasn’t about dominance or control but about presence, integrity, and the courage to be vulnerable. I learned to navigate the delicate balance of power and surrender, light and shadow, and to own all parts of myself. This journey was the bridge between the fitness world I had outgrown and the healing work I was destined to do.
Today, I stand in a place I could never have imagined back then. I’ve stepped fully into my role as a Tantra teacher and healer, guiding others through their own journeys of transformation. My work integrates everything I’ve learned—from shadow work and breathwork to Kundalini yoga and sacred intimacy. Through men’s groups, workshops, and one-on-one coaching, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing others face their own dark nights and emerge stronger, freer, and more whole.
Looking back, I see that the dark night of my soul was not a breaking point but a turning point. It showed me that transformation begins in the void, in the willingness to confront the pain we fear the most. From that emptiness, I’ve built a life that honors the sacred balance of masculine and feminine within me and celebrates both the light and the shadow.
My journey continues, but my mission is clear: to help others find their way through the darkness and into the light of their own sacred truth.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
see previous questions answer!
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I guide men and women through transformative journeys of self-discovery, healing, and personal empowerment. As a Tantra teacher, men’s group leader, and facilitator of workshops and events, I specialize in helping people reconnect with their authentic selves, balance masculine and feminine energies, and heal deep-seated wounds around intimacy, sexuality, and identity. I’m known for creating safe, sacred spaces where people can explore their shadows, embrace their light, and unlock their full potential. My offerings include men’s work, Kundalini yoga, shadow work, Tantra-inspired events, and community connection practices like Authentic Relating and Sacred Connections.
I’m most proud of the transformations I’ve witnessed in the men and women I’ve worked with. Seeing someone reclaim their power, heal from trauma, or find clarity and purpose in their life is an indescribable gift. On a personal level, I’m proud of my own journey—how I’ve faced my shadows, confronted childhood wounds, and emerged from the dark night of my soul with a renewed sense of purpose and connection. Completing multiple yoga teacher trainings, leading transformative events, and building The Sacred Kings community are milestones that mean a great deal to me.
What sets me apart is the integration of my lived experience, academic knowledge, and spiritual practices. I’ve walked through the fire myself—navigating trauma, heartbreak, and self-discovery—and I bring that authenticity to my work. My approach is deeply rooted in Tantra, yet it’s practical and accessible, blending ancient wisdom with modern tools for transformation. Additionally, my background in fitness, shadow work, and community-building gives me a unique perspective on the mind-body connection and the importance of integrating all aspects of the self. I create spaces where vulnerability and depth are celebrated, allowing others to feel truly seen and supported on their journey.
Any advice for finding a mentor or networking in general?
Finding a mentor starts with clarity about what you’re seeking. Reflect on where you want to grow, what challenges you’re facing, or the type of wisdom and experience you’d like to learn from. Once you have that clarity, look for people whose work or presence resonates with you deeply—whether that’s through their teachings, writings, or the way they show up in the world.
For me, mentorship came through seeking out experiences that challenged and inspired me. I attended retreats, workshops, and trainings that aligned with my personal and spiritual growth. It was during these transformative spaces that I connected with mentors like Chandrika, who helped guide me on my Tantric path. Don’t be afraid to reach out to those who inspire you, whether it’s through attending their events, asking for their guidance, or simply expressing gratitude for their work.
When it comes to networking, authenticity is key. I’ve found that the most meaningful connections come from being open, vulnerable, and curious. Share your journey, ask thoughtful questions, and show a genuine interest in others’ stories. Join communities or groups aligned with your passions—whether it’s a men’s group, a spiritual circle, or a professional network. Building relationships is less about what you can gain and more about the mutual growth and inspiration that comes from connecting with like-minded individuals.
Above all, trust the process. The right mentors and connections will align with your path when you show up with intention and openness. Be patient and willing to invest time and energy in fostering these relationships.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.TheHeartCenteredBeing.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theheartcenteredbeing/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheHeartCenteredBeing/
