Meet India Kern of The Divorce Recovery Mentor in La Jolla

Today we’d like to introduce you to India Kern.

India, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
In 2011, I was blindsided by divorce when I picked up my husband from the airport. He greeted me with the simple words, “It’s over.” Assuming he meant he was done with Southwest Airlines, I had no idea he was referring to our marriage. With two kids, no job, and no backup plan, I was forced to stare down divorce, and all I wanted to do was curl up in a tight ball and escape from my reality. He dealt me a blow that became a wrecking ball to life as I knew it. Life seemed pretty dismal at that point, and I remained stuck in my pain far too long. I went into survival mode, but I had no guide to follow.

It became clear to me I had to make a commitment to heal. Healing meant forgiving which I knew to be a long process. It was at that moment I realized I had a choice – to either get “bitter” or get “better,” and I chose to get better. I used the pain as an opportunity to grow, expand and become a better version of myself. Either my story could have power over me or I could be empowered by my story. I chose to be empowered by helping others, and I became a Certified Divorce Coach. Now I am the guide that I never had. I support people through the transition of divorce from married to “happily” divorced.

I wrote a book about my story called Surviving the Unwanted Divorce. The book serves as my personal journey to forgiveness. Looking back, I can see how the book launched me into the realm of coaching, leading me first to life coaching. I quickly observed that all my clients fit a similar profile – divorced female, stuck in her story, dealing with a loss of identity, needing to build self-confidence and possessing a strong urge to get better. And that is when I made the pivot from life coach to divorce coach.

In the wake of it all, I feel blessed for the life I have built as a mother, wife, author, yogi surfer, and now a resource for those in need.

We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
Holding onto the idea that life didn’t turn out as I expected was the biggest obstacle that I faced in the early days of divorce. As long as I resisted accepting my reality as a divorced woman, the more the pain persisted and delayed my healing. Journaling became the method in which I processed the grief. My journals then transformed into a book.

Dr. Seuss said, “When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” My divorce strengthened me immensely. I can see how the pain forced me to discover my purpose and passion to help others go through divorce.

Please tell us more about your work. What do you do? What do you specialize in? What sets you apart from competition?
As a Certified Divorce Coach, I specialize in working with women caught off guard by divorce. I help them feel confident, gain a sense of security and be happy again. I help a person navigate the divorce process without falling into the common emotional pitfalls such as turning to an attorney or other legal professionals for emotional support. That’s not their job, nor is it in their skillset, and it comes at a high price.

As a divorce coach, I minimize the “overwhelm” of divorce by helping with:

Emotional support
Preparation and organization for the business of divorce
Shift in mindset
Devising a plan of action
Reaching clarity

As a result, my clients feel confident that they are making wise, informed decisions regarding their divorce. I feel most proud when a client says to me, “You changed my life and my view of the future.” So much of my job is helping the client shift perspective. I am a thinking partner, and I help my clients see life through a different lens.

So, what’s next? Any big plans?
I just joined an organization called Vesta. Like me, Vesta helps people navigate divorce. Their mission is to “redefine divorce” which is aligned with my purpose. There’s a better way “to do” divorce, and Vesta understands that the public needs resources to make the divorce process an easier transition. They have different hubs throughout southern California and in the Northeast. Each hub provides a team of divorce professionals that can assist a person who is in any stage of divorce.

By hosting free public events such as Divorce Resource Nights and Divorce Bootcamps, Vesta offers a wealth of information to the public about divorce. They educate and empower people by connecting them to trusted professionals who handle the legal, financial and emotional aspects of divorce. I am excited about collaborating with an organization that shares my same vision.