Meet Jeanie Vetter of Jeanie Vetter, LCSW / The 3rd Space Collective

Today we’d like to introduce you to Jeanie Vetter.

Hi Jeanie, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?
Though I started out as a Social Work undergrad student at NYU in 1993, the road to becoming an LCSW in private practice and founder of a non-profit was long and winding! In the summer of 1997 I was scheduled to graduate with my Bachelor’s in Social Work, but with 3 credits shy of my diploma I was whisked away by a touring punk rock band called Dirt Bike Annie that I played guitar and sang in for 10 years instead. When the band broke up in 2005, I met my husband and we adventured to El Salvador where we opened a coffee shop called Dale! Dale! Cafe! During our 6 years there, we surfed, built our dream home and had 3 babies – one after the other. We returned to the US in 2012 and stayed with my parents who had relocated to San Diego from the east coast. That’s when I decided to return to school and completed the credits for my BSW from NYU, then decided to go for my master’s at Cal State San Marcos! I was licensed shortly afterwards while working as a Behavioral Health Consultation in the Women’s Health Department at True Care (previously known as North County Health Services) and running an integrated behavioral health group for women with disordered eating. I opened my private practice in 2020 and started the Women in Power and Private Practice (WIPPP) consultation group for therapists. This year, I’ve been working on a passion project The 3rd Space Collective – to provide a non-profit, community space for people looking for connection through curiosity and creativity. And in a strange turn of events, the band has also reunited multiple times over the past 2 years playing shows New York, Seattle, Milwaukee and even Japan! I’ve been long putting together all these different parts of my life and making sense of fitting them all together.

I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
There have been plenty of struggles along the way! It’s no secret that many, if not most, therapists get into this line of work to find ways to heal their own trauma and I’m no exception! From a young age I struggled to fit in and find belonging. But this challenge drove me on an adventurous missions throughout my life. In my 20’s, I had the privilege of touring almost every major city in the US and even Puerto Rico with my band. But despite all our hard work, sacrifices and various releases, we were never able to make a living off the music we made. There was a lot of heartbreak having to confront that reality after so many hopeful years. The breakup of the band sent me running to another country! Though El Salvador is now a popular surf and vacation destination, we lived there during more uncertain times and ultimately left after being extorted. Relocating to San Diego having never lived here before with 3 toddlers and only knowing my parents was also quite a challenge! I had grown up in the suburbs outside of Philadelphia so moving to the west coast was a total culture shock – despite having gotten used to sunnier and hotter days in El Salvador.

Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your business?
I work full time as a therapist specializing in EMDR trauma therapy and couples therapy and see clients both in-person in Oceanside or via telehealth. Though I’m very experienced in perinatal mood disorders, pregnancy and parenting, I love working with couples – especially ones who are in high-conflict and with inter-racial or inter-cultural backgrounds. Therapists have a saying that we can only help take our clients as far as we heal ourselves. I am life-long learner always open to new ideas, theories and practices with a deep appreciation for the wisdom of healers who’ve been caring for mental health long before the DSM existed. My practice is also fueled by the belief that each person is their own universe with endless, complex wonder! I’m passionate about bringing those worlds in people together – whether it’s in my office as a therapist, as a community builder or just as a person. There’s nothing more fulfilling than being able to help people see and understand each other clearly. It what’s makes me an attuned couples therapist and also what drives my work with The 3rd Space Collective. This is a non-profit I’ve been working on to connect people through curiosity and creativity in the most unlikeliest ways. I bring what I’ve learned about people in the therapy room to build spaces where empathy, belonging and connection can grow.

Are there any apps, books, podcasts, blogs or other resources you think our readers should check out?
Ahhh! SO many!!
The most recent book I’ve read that really connects to the themes of this interview is Collective Illusions by Todd Rose. My favorite podcast about couples therapy is The Leading Edge — it’s meant for therapists, but it’s fascinating for anyone interested in understanding the deeper dynamics that play out in relationships.

The book I find myself recommending most often to clients is Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson. Gen X sits between two generations that seem so far apart emotionally. It can be bittersweet — watching our kids grow up with the kind of emotional support we longed for, while still grieving that we didn’t get to experience it ourselves and may never will. This book offers really clear and compassionate insight into family dynamics and emotional development.

The most moving and life-changing book I’ve read recently is You Better Be Lightning by Andrea Gibson. Every line leaves a lump in the throat. I’m so looking forward to their upcoming documentary Come See Me in the Good Light, premiering on Apple TV this month. The 3rd Space Collective will be holding a viewing and night of comfort this Saturday! You can check out the3rdspacecollective.org for more information and all our upcoming events.

As for apps, my current favorites are the Strong App, which I use to track my weightlifting progress! And Chani, which is an astrology app that can be fun and sometimes eerily aligned with what’s happening! Like many of us, I try to use apps for function and get connection through IRL though because that’s where the real magic is at!!

Pricing:

• $200/individual session
• $250/couples session

Contact Info:

• Website: jeanievetter.com and the3rdspacecollective.org
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.punk.rock.therapist/

Image Credits
Mats Dykstra