Today we’d like to introduce you to Jessica Engel.
Hi Jessica, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
<u>The Gift of Separation </u>
There’s been a pattern running through my life for as long as I can remember—a rhythm of separation and grief that shaped me long before I could name it. I now see it as a kind of sacred thread, one that began weaving itself in infancy, through cracks that existed between my parents even before I was born.
During my bodies development, within my mom’s womb, I took on: resentment, shame and fear. This shaped me- I sensed that I was unwanted. My presence created a state of overwhelm for others and this force blew up my little family of 4, as soon as I arrived.
Not long after birth, I was separated from my birth mother. Then came the loss of my foster mother, my grandmother, and my first stepmother—all by the time I was seven. Each departure tore at the fabric of my sense of safety and belonging, and each one left a deeper imprint on my developing self. I learned, without words, that love could vanish, and that connection was conditional.
One memory stands out as a turning point. I was three years old, clutching onto the love of my grandmother when my father met someone new. I remember my heart weeping when I was pulled away from her. My father’s story was programmed into my psyche: “you are safe”. My bodies response, in that moment, was soul shattering. I made a decision that day—within my subconscious—that in order to survive, I had to exile a part of myself. I had to fracture my soul’s truth to fit into his”story”. That was the first time I remember exiling a piece of who I was, believing that this sacrifice is necessary for survival… and, ultimately to experience conditional love.
My father became the figure who loomed over much of my childhood. He was, in many ways, a perpetrator—not just of control, but to claim and and program to his point of view. I cast out my own thoughts, personal truths and beliefs – to adopt his. what I knew to be true for myself was deeply suppressed. I tuned out my inner knowing to avoid conflict and confusion. I learned how to survive under control and lost myself. I became lost in the unconscious pattern.
As I grew older, that pattern of self-fracturing didn’t disappear—it deepened. When my second stepmother came into the picture during my teenage years, I tried again to belong, to be accepted. But I couldn’t find a place in that family that truly held me. So I searched elsewhere. I looked for love in places that mirrored my inner belief: that I wasn’t worthy of being held or seen. I gave myself away like something disposable, thinking that maybe if someone wanted me—just for a moment—it would mean I had value.
It took time, but eventually, something shifted. My oldest daughter came into my life in mysterious, beautiful ways. She became the mirror I didn’t know I needed—reflecting back a core wound we both carried. Through her, I stepped into a Montessori career and into motherhood, finding purpose in nurturing what I never received. We created a kind of family around our shared pain, and for the first time, I felt like I had something to build from.
But even then, the old patterns weren’t done with me. Trauma still rippled through my life, fracturing parts of me I thought I had healed. By age 30, I left my marriage—another act of separation, another breaking. Soon after, I entered a relationship that echoed all the wrong things again. She was a narcissist, and I found myself back in the dynamic of control and distortion… this time allowing myself to separate from my beloved granddaughter. It was like a spiral pulling me toward the same wound, again and again.
Eventually, I began to find my way out. I stepped into a more loving partnership, but even then, I realized I didn’t fully know who I was. I had been everyone else’s version of me for so long—child, partner, mother, teacher—but I didn’t know me. So I started the work. I began crafting a new identity, building belief systems that were actually mine, not borrowed from survival.
Now, I understand what all the loss was trying to teach me. I’ve learned the art of letting go—not just of people or roles, but of illusions. I’ve come to see separation not just as loss, but as gift. Every break, every departure, allowed light to pour into the cracks. Each fracture revealed something deeper, something truer within me.
I no longer fear the falling apart. I trust it. I trust the process of completion, of restoration, of rebirth. This is the path I’ve chosen—not because it’s easy, but because it’s real. And with each step, I reclaim the pieces of myself I once had to exile just to survive.
Now, I live with my heart more whole, held together by light.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
There was a time in my life when it looked like I had it all together. My children were growing beautifully, I was in a stable relationship, and I had built a lucrative service-based business that aligned with my passions—or so I thought. On the outside, things looked solid. But underneath, something (my own truth) was broken, blocked and guarded.
As the business expanded and the pressure of high-scale growth mounted, I started making choices that didn’t reflect my values. I was chasing sustainability, but compromising integrity. Slowly, my outer world and inner world drifted apart—until they became so misaligned that I nearly snapped. It felt like I was living a double life: one for the world to see, and one that quietly bore the weight of disconnection and burnout.
Selling the business marked a turning point. That’s when I finally allowed myself to stop running. The deaths of my adoptive mother and my best friend Nina cracked something open in me. Their loss catapulted me into a deeper healing journey. In their absence, I was forced to remember who I really was—beneath the roles, responsibilities, and expectations.
That’s when I began to reclaim my truth. I found the strength to release the control my father had held over me for so long. I made peace with my birth mother and started to understand that I could be both separate and deeply connected to the people and events that shaped me. That truth gave me space to breathe, to feel, and to come home to myself- no longer rescuing or running away.
The real reckoning came in my relationship. I nearly lost my beloved partner & wife. The same patterns of conditional love, control, and fear that had haunted me for years had seeped into the foundation of our connection. Thankfully, I wasn’t alone. My conscious community stood by me—mirroring, guiding, and supporting me as I faced my shadows.
Through this process, I began to step into what I now call sovereign unity—a relationship model rooted in mutual respect, deep presence, and individual wholeness. I started taking full accountability for my unconscious patterns, beliefs, and reactions. I made peace with the parts of myself I had rejected, the pieces I had deemed unworthy.
It has been the most challenging work of my life- to earnestly look inward. I had to meet myself at the deepest edges of grief, pain, and suffering. It was ‘in’ that darkness, I discovered a strength I didn’t know I had—a capacity to endure, to love, to hope.
Now, I continue the work by staying devoted to aligning my inner world with my outer beliefs, choices, and actions. I remain committed to sovereignty in partnership and accountability within myself. The healing is ongoing, and so is the transformation.
Every step brings me closer to wholeness.
Great, so let’s talk business. Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
When I sold my business in 2017, I wasn’t in a place to make sound financial decisions. I was depleted—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I had no awareness that that separation/ death would open up a new life of service through our family foundation, at Trinity Peak. Fortunately, my wife had the foresight to ground us into our San Diego home, planting the roots we needed. The foundation became something much bigger: a vision to create generational wealth and security—not just financially, but emotionally and spiritually as well.
That shift required me to grow. I had to step into a new version of myself—to fill bigger shoes and expand my awareness. My wife and I naturally divided responsibilities. She focused on the structural, logistical aspects of our life, while I became more attuned to our family’s emotional constellation through relationships. I took responsibility for cultivating emotional safety, attunement, and healing.
To show up in that role fully, I knew I had to do the inner work. I worked with other families to deepen my understanding of emotional regulation and practiced creating healthier boundaries and attachments. I turned toward the healing path with deep commitment—exploring EMDR, somatic therapy, ketamine therapy, and plant medicines, all with integration support. I became a student and teacherof many modalities: Meditation, Sekhem-Reiki, Yoga, Sound Healing, Self-Discovery Dive, Theta Healing— ways that helped me peel back the layers and return to my essence.
I allowed every identity within me to be witnessed, heard and felt. I tried on new identities and released old ones. I made peace circles for repairing fractures and held space for inner peace. I discovered myself to be neurodivergent and multi-dimensional, in nature, holding a myriad of aspects simultaneously. I continue learning from my inner parts, allowing this process of attachment and release to stay clear and open- allowing me to be attuned to love and flowing with the Universe.
Now, I stand at the precipice of a new reality that is unfolding through me—not as something I’m chasing, but as something I’m allowing. I’m learning to stay present, to lead with an open heart, and to devote my life to service—especially in spaces of separation, where we feel most disconnected from ourselves and each other.
My purpose now is to use all that I’ve learned, to share my story, my wisdom, my heart, my skillset—to help normalize the polarity we see in the world. I want to soften the spaces between opposites. I believe in the possibility of healing through unity, even when life has fractured us.
And so, I teach. I lead by example. I hold the truth that through separation and transformation, we can evolve. We can access new levels of awareness, rewrite our stories, and shift our internal and external realities. I’ve seen it in my own life, and I believe it to be true for life with our Mother Earth.
As an organically crafted death doula, I walk through life, holding impermanence and the unknown with reverence. I hold space for processing deep emotions of separation, grief and anger. I am witness for the exile and suppressed expressions of humanity.
Together, we will create new life through the alchemy and transmutation of loss.
The universe conspires with us when we show up for the work. I know that now. And with every breath, I carry a spark of hope—for myself, for others, and for a new world that’s ready to be born. May this story land in your heart and spark new hope… like a lotus seed landing in warm, sunny conditions.
What do you like and dislike about the city?
The first time I visited San Diego, it was for a Montessori conference. I remember it vividly—it felt like coming home! I didn’t know I was waiting for. I discovered a deep connection to what I now call my lineage of Montessori teachers. I felt like I was receiving pearls of wisdom, clutching them close to my heart to carry back with me. Little did I know, then, that San Diego would help me come back to my real home: the inner chambers of my heart.
San Diego awakened something in me. I breathed in the air like it was medicine, danced with the flowers that lined the sidewalks, stared out at the vastness of the ocean, and sat in awe of the city-scape beauty. That visit wasn’t just an event—it was a portal. It awakened a ‘knowing’ that I would return. I didn’t just dream of living here—I manifested it.
Living here now, I still fall in love with this place. I thrive in nature, and San Diego gives that to me in abundance. The diversity of the land and the people mirrors the complexity within me—so many parts, identities, and truths coexisting. There’s something deeply comforting about seeing that reflected in the world around me.
I also have my critiques. What I love most—connection, consciousness, responsibility—is sometimes what I find missing here. There’s a certain blindness I’ve observed, an “ignorance to the whole.” It’s hard to ignore the growing mental health needs in this city, especially as the population and wealth continue to rise. I often feel the tension of witnessing people and systems that overlook those who aren’t being seen, heard, or truly acknowledged.
San Diego holds both beauty and contradiction for me. It is a place of inspiration and activation—a city that both reflects me and challenges me to do better, to be more awake, and to help others do the same.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.trinitypeakfoundation.org
- Instagram: trinity_peak_foundation
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61576185686733
- Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-engel-sandiego
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtzzjQYfpdJXdb5rN05Bh_g
