Today we’d like to introduce you to Joy Blessman.
Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
I am the owner and artist behind Bokujoy and the Avocado House, I am a mother, an amazing human AND a deliberate creator of the world I live in. Bokujoy is a play on the french word “beaucoup” meaning “more” or “abundance” – Bokujoy simply translates into abundantly joyful, and for me, a means to share my joys with the world. Avocado House [Sanctuary and Garden Spa] is the 2 acre stretch of land where I create and remind people of how powerful they really are. We come here knowing it, however, sometimes we forget along the way as our path winds~Avocado House is a fabulous place to reconnect with your inner being so your outer being can shine [again].
I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle free, but so far would you say the journey have been a fairly smooth road?
Bokujoy and Avocado House is a part of my current [day] dream, but not where the dream began. For that story, sit back and relax, it will take a moment…
Rewind the tape 25 years, where I found myself in the closet curled into a fetal position crying out of earshot of my five years old son London. I didn’t want him to hear me crying and I didn’t want him to experience the pain that was a part of my everyday life. I worked hard to keep his life “normal” as I struggled with a drug addict for a husband. That was the last time I kept the truth from my son, cried over my ex-husband, AND THE LAST TIME I FELT SORRY FOR MYSELF WITHOUT TAKING AN ACTION FOR MYSELF.
It had been two years of trying to make us work when I realized it was time to make me work instead. I told my husband he had to leave. I told him I was not willing to raise my son [his stepson] with a using addict. I can still hear his response which was sobering and rang loud and clear — “You can’t survive in California without my income.” I can still hear my response which rang louder and much more clear: “Just watch me!” It was the beginning of the month when he left me . . . with a full house of responsibilities and an empty bank account. [side note: When I got married, I quit my corporate America job to stay at home be a housewife. I wanted to join the PTA and do arts and crafts like make soap, pottery and ornaments. After working six days a week, often 12 hours or more a day with a child in daycare, I welcomed the new title of “unemployed”.]
Quickly, I searched every room in my brain for what I could do to survive. . . the logical room in my brain said go back to corporate America, it’s an arena you know well. The practical room in my brain said, by the time you find leads, interview, go through the hiring process and then wait 2-4 more weeks for a paycheck, you will be homeless with a five years old. That’s when I entered the creative room in my brain. “Hey remember when Denise [an old college friend] came to visit last summer and you guys spend the weekend drinking wine and making soap?” All of those supplies and raw materials were still living in the closet with other forgotten art projects. That’s it, “I’ll start a bath company”. I often made my own bath products being unimpressed with the quality of products on the market, so here was my chance to do something better. I already had the supplies, so all I needed was a name. My five years old helped me come up with the name “Beauty and the Bath” a spin on the book I often read to him “Beauty and the Beast”.
So armed with my courage and my stubbornness, I set out with a few tubs of soap, homemade bath salts and my son. We sold at every craft show and home show I could find. Much to my amazement and divine amazing grace, at the end of the month, I had enough money to pay the mortgage AND buy more soap supplies! I cried tears of joy and never looked back. Beauty and the Bath was born. That name served us well and helped us survive. It was derived from a place of lack so years later, I changed to Bokujoy, so I could operate from a place of abundance.
Being in business over 25 years, I have learned the importance of being discerning. Discerning with one’s mind, body, and spirit. It’s my mental discernment that navigated me out of the relationship with my ex-husband. Then and now, I constantly create and re-create a healthy mental space to dwell in. Realizing my value and letting it empower me is an important part of that. The largest limits and hurdles to reaching my goals are the ones I impose on myself. I have daily conversations with myself through journaling, meditation [yes MEDITATION IS IMPORTANT}, soaking in a warm tub of water and talking out loud about how to move the mountain that constantly gets in my way. The mountain, being ME! I often remind myself to focus on ease, and ease appears.
A strong mental space gives me the courage to stand in my truth.
Honoring our body helps to keep us on earth and helps us to thrive. Our skin is our largest organ . . . so developing products that protect our vessel was and is vital. After all, sixty percent of what goes on our skin goes in our skin, so YES, we should be discerning. With this in mind, I use essential oils made by nature as opposed to synthetic fragrance oils which can have harmful toxins. I use ingredients that are gentle on the skin like vegetable glycerin, shea butter and beeswax. I love blending additives in my products that improve our resolve like arnica, flaxseed, and borage.
I absolutely love what I do for a living and when I am not working on the product line, I spend as much time as I can in the Avocado House gardens. That is where I most often nurture my spirit. Since my humble beginnings, and 20 years ago now, I moved from the home I shared with my husband to the second oldest adobe house in escondido. This home sits on two beautiful acres of land that I have carved into little garden rooms and retreats. It is here that I walk the labyrinth to let go of old things and welcome in new things. I visit the boredroom [no that is not a typo] to empty my mind amongst the oak trees and be bored, a rarity in my world. Sometimes I go down to the city of angels to visit with the spirits that are flying low. Sit in the white room and soak your feet in a clay foot bath, Or visit “The Office”, and outdoor garden room with a sauna to debrief and get down to the business of relaxing. There are more rooms, you will have to come experience it for yourself.
Avocado House has been such a healing and nurturing retreat for me, I am happy to share it with you. Many of the things I do for me, I try to share with the world. We are in this together. I am here on earth to contribute and share my gifts, my love. We all are.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I honestly don’t think it is accurate to view what I do as work, as work sounds so laborious. I believe what I do is lovemaking. I am a Lover of Life, and what I do is make love. Everything I do, I do to create love in my world and the world at large.
We’d be interested to hear your thoughts on luck and what role, if any, you feel it’s played for you?
Luck has nothing to do with where I am. I don’t believe in luck, luck is for people who don’t realize how powerful we really are. AND WE ARE ALL POWERFUL, I believe in deliberate creation. I believe we are all creators. Some of us create by default and some of us create on purpose. I am a DELIBERATE CREATOR, I create on purpose. I use meditation as the portal to enter any world I desire, it is key. I quiet my spirit and focus my energy on what it is that I desire, my intentions. Once the thought is created, so is the intention. It is as real as anything and lives as energy. As I focus on what it “feels” like it, people places and things moves from energy to physical reality and the manifestation occurs. It is based on the laws of attraction. Things flow to me [easily]. I always include “ease”, I am sooo over getting things “the hard way’, or with ‘a struggle”.
Pricing:
- Hand Milled soaps starting at $12
- Scrubs, Butters and Candles starting at $20
- Avocado House Events contact us
- Speaking engagements ~contact us
- Creating your best life~priceless
Contact Info:
- Website: Bokujoy.com
- Other: Avocadohouse.love
