Today we’d like to introduce you to Kathie Moehlig.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Kathie. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
My desire to be of services to others has been with me my entire adult life. I was ordained as a minister at age 30, not because I wanted to be a minister of a church giving ‘sermons’ on Sundays but because I wanted to serve others.
I have worked or volunteered in nonprofit my whole adult life. Starting in my early twenties, when I got clean & sober, I found a passion for helping others. I am the one who is early to events leading a hand and one of the last out the door to be sure the ‘clean up’ is done. Whether it is a dinner party at a friend’s house or a large gala, I find being of service gives me a way to connect with others.
Eight years ago my son age 11, ‘came out’ as transgender. This was not a huge surprise to us at all. After he had struggled with anxiety and depression for years, we were relieved to have the answer to his struggles.
When started his transition, there were so few resources. There was a support group in San Diego that I was so grateful for but nothing else. I felt like there was so much I did not know and needed to know to help him. There wasn’t even have any doctors in San Diego that were treating transgender youth. The few families we knew with trans youth were going to Los Angles for treatment.
That was the first place I started was to get a doctor at Rady Children’s Hospital to treat my son. It took some work but I got one and that has now turned into a gender clinic treating hundreds of youth.
Once we started the journey other parents were reaching out to me asking for help and guidance. They needed someone to walk alongside them to be able to have someone to lean on. It could be challenges with school, extended family, so many issues that can come up. Folks would direct them to me. They would say ‘go talk to Kathie she has done that’ or ‘Kathie can help you with it’. And of course, if there is the assistance, I can offer I will. So really the organization kind of started itself! I believe that all my years of serving in nonprofit has prepared me to do this work!
Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Nothing in life is a smooth road, is it? Life is messy and the more we get into it, the more success we will experience. It is in some of my greatest struggles that I have found strength that led me to peace. For TFSS we have had some tremendous growth in a short time. Much more so than I thought we have experienced when we started.
Most nonprofits struggle with some of the same issues, as have we, lack of funding, keeping board members active and engaged, getting your message out. I am grateful to others in the nonprofit world who have helped to coach and guide us through some of this. The biggest struggle is always FUNDING. And of course, in this new normal of a COVID world having to get creative and pivot all our services to online and virtual. We have also had some aspect of that with serving folks all over the country, it is now just more pronounced. Serving trans youth and their families with support groups virtually, holding zoom meetings, and of course offering our trainings over the virtual platform. It took time to get comfortable.
We’d love to hear more about the organization.
TransFamily Support Services saves lives by shaping a gender-affirming community. We are a nonprofit organization that serves transgender and non-binary folks and their families. We provide navigation for this, many, times very challenging journey. TFSS serves all ages but focuses especially on youth. Research shows us that a trans and non-binary youth whose family does not accept their gender identity have a 47% suicide attempt rate. In stark contrast, youth who have at least one adult that accepts them reduces that by 40%. The two key factors we see for these youths are family acceptance and support. TFSS guides parents with education, support, and resources to be able to move to acceptance and being a support for their youth.
Many times we are working with youth before they have even come out to their parents. Providing them a safe place to process & practice what they want to say. We believe the ‘coming out’ process is inviting in. This is a very intimate experience the individual is having and they hold the power who they want to invite into the experience.
Once the transition process has been started, we walk alongside the youth and their family. Offering navigation for whatever comes up in their process. No two people/families’ transition in the same way. Planning a system for sharing with family and friends, finding the right medical provider, ensuring insurance is covering the cost of medical transition, all of this can be overwhelming.
TFSS is proud of the community networking we have done and the several hundreds of Medical & Mental Health providers who have been trained in the area. Training and education are important part of our work. Whether it is in the healthcare field, school staff, employers; we believe that when you know better you do better. Most folks just need a little education and exposure to become allies.
I think one of our greatest accomplishments is seeing a young person go from quiet, withdrawn, depressed, anxious to happy, smiling, making eye contact, and engaged in their lives. We are privileged to witness this on a regular base.
Do you look back particularly fondly on any memories from childhood?
I was born and raised in Michigan just outside Detroit. When I was seven, we moved to Chula Vista for a year. I loved living in California. We took a family trip to Disneyland. It was so MAGICAL I was hooked. Every moment was spectacular and even somewhat overwhelming for my seven-year-old self. Everything at Disneyland is designed for the guest and their happiness. It started a lifelong love for all things Disney. I had taken a few trips over my early adulthood back to my magical place. Once I moved back to CA, 27 years ago, one of my first things to do was to get to Disneyland. I have been an annual pass holder since. It is the happiest place, a place where my family can gather (usually once a month) to just enjoy each other and create more happy memories.
Contact Info:
- Address: 12463 Rancho Bernardo Rd #218
San Diego, CA 92128 - Website: www.transfamilysos.org
- Phone: 858-382-9156
- Email: info@transfamilysos.org
- Instagram: @transfamilysos
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TransFamilySOS
- Twitter: @transfamilysos
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