Today we’d like to introduce you to Kelly Meier.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Kelly. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
Thank you for having me. I began taking an interest in parenting when my second child was born and my oldest had a difficult time adapting to his new sister. I was lucky to find help from experts Janet Lansbury and Lisa Sunbury online when they had a much smaller following than they do now. Through their online forum, I met other like-minded parents from all over the world and together we started the blog, Respectful Parent. They encouraged me to explore my gift of helping parents understand and relate to their children. Eventually, I found Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T) with headquarters in Solana Beach and became certified in 2015. Through teaching, I continue to learn how to raise children who not only trust me but whom I also trust. I also help other parents who want the same thing – a strong relationship with their children.
Raising empathetic, resilient kids who are good problem solvers is one of the most sought-after skills in the job market and it’s become one of the parenting holy grails. It’s one of the reasons I became a teacher because I believe having empathy towards kids is the way to have kids who are empathetic and resilient. Helping them solve problems without rescuing from them or taking over, is the way to build creative and resilient problem solvers. This is why I find Parent Effectiveness Training to be such a powerful tool. Communicating honestly is hard, but once you learn how all these really awesome characteristics in your child reveal themselves, and you begin to see not only who they are but who they might grow into, it is truly a wonder to watch.
Has it been a smooth road?
I have had some struggles on the way as people do when they leap into something new. I used to be a Sales Trainer so that helped me transition into teaching parents because, at the root of most things, everyone just wants to be understood. I was able to offer that understanding to clients and now I’m able to offer it to parents. In turn, they learn how to offer it to their children. Fortunately, I was able to take it slow starting out and have had some wonderful mentors along the way. Finding people that are committed to taking an in-depth, 8-week class can be difficult and I have had to cancel a few classes. I adapted by offering shorter introductory workshops to give people an offering of what the full course might be like, which helps me fill in between longer courses.
So let’s switch gears a bit and go into the Respectful Parent story. Tell us more about the business.
I teach parents how to communicate with their children so that everyone feels respected and heard. I offer classes, workshops, and coaching so parents can not only get through the rough patches but create more peace at home long-term. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint, so focusing with the end in mind is an important thing to think about. I understand what it takes to learn how to raise thoughtful, independent people who can solve their own problems. I believe there is no “right way” to parent, only the “right way for you.” I help parents find their own “right way” by learning how to listen better so they can fully understand their children. I also teach them how to talk in a way that their kids will not only hear them the first time but *want* to help. Teaching parents to recognize their own needs as well as the child’s so that everyone’s needs get met is the most surefire way there is around resentment and yelling.
“Be curious, not furious” is a phrase I picked up that helps us remember that all behavior meets some sort of need. When we can understand what a behavior is doing for a child, we can help them change it out of consideration rather than out of fear of punishment or receiving rewards. This helps children do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do rather than training them with external motivation. This helps everyone meet their needs in a way that is acceptable to the whole family – not just one person.
I am passionate about helping parents feel more confident, to help instill responsibility in their kids and create a nurturing family environment in which their children can thrive. I’m also a believer that parenting doesn’t have to be so much work! When we learn how to communicate better, we realize we end up making a lot of our own problems, and it doesn’t have to be that way. Parents CAN get along with their kids, it just takes some new skills!
I am probably most known for my relatable candor, my sense of humor and taking the vulnerability out of parenting classes. People come back because they know I “get parenting” and it shows through in the stories I share in class and the way I am able to relate to other parents. I have a knack for helping people put theory into practice so they can start seeing real change at home.
One of the things I am most proud of is creating systemic change in my own community. I was brought in to teach classes to parents at a local elementary school and it’s been an amazing experience to see a shift in thinking in an entire community. It’s been really powerful to watch them see their kids in a new way. When people begin to see their kids as whole people who are capable of so much, they are able to step back and enjoy parenting a lot more. When I think about the long-term effects of this, I realize I get to help generations of people raise amazing people, armed with respectful communication tools who can change the world.
How do you think the industry will change over the next decade?
I hope the trend of respectful parenting continues to buck the conventional wisdom that might makes right. With current neuroscience to back it up, I hope that people will begin to understand that the brain doesn’t work well under conditions of physical or emotional punishment. I hope that people will begin to understand that, “You can’t make a child act better by making him feel worse,” as Pam Leo of Connected Parenting said.
My hope is that this will take hold in a new generation of parents and eventually work its way into our school systems in a way that honors individual learners and personalities. This could have a profound impact on the way we relate to other people and the world as a whole.
The change is coming slowly, but I see a lot of growth, especially as it becomes less of a “fringe” thing to do and is backed by neuroscience more and more. My hope is that we raise a whole lot more people that don’t need therapy to recover from how they were raised and who truly enjoy their relationships with their parents.
Pricing:
- 8-week course that meets once a week (24-course hours) $249.00 per person
- Two-hour workshops which can be scheduled with 5 or more people – $35.00 per person
- Personal Coaching – $85.00 per hour
Contact Info:
- Website: http://www.respectfulparent.com/
- Phone: (619) 876-8402
- Email: Kelly@respectfulparent.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/respectfulparent/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/respectfulparent/
Image Credit:
Karen Dalton Photography
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