Today we’d like to introduce you to Ken Druck.
Ken, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
My personal story began in 1949 and covers more than seven decades. But there is more to it than that. Unlike the man for whom I was named, my Uncle Kaseal, my grandfather, Jacob, and my grandmother, Sadie, were fortunate enough to flee Russia, escape the Nazis, land in Ellis Island, settle down outside New York City, open a market and start a family. My mother was one of their four children and lived in relative poverty in the back of her parents market.
My father’s parents had escaped Czarist Russia fifteen years earlier when Jews were being persecuted there. They were also immigrants who spoke with heavy accents and came to New York City through Ellis Island. Being a Jewish kid in a post-holocaust family that was grieving the loss of their loved ones and struggling to adjust to life in a new country took great courage, faith, hard work and resilience. My dad worked hard figuring out just how to make a living, and we were raised in a relatively safe, middle-class neighborhood nestled up against a golf course that didn’t allow Jews as members. My mother was a lover of music who played her favorite symphonies and Broadway scores every weekend on the piano and record player. In addition to watching over her three children, she volunteered countless hours to causes and organizations that were trying to eradicate racism and anti-semitism and foster civility and justice.
As a child, I struggled with learning differences (called “learning disabilities” back then), but I excelled in sports. I was also a highly sensitive” and empathetic kid, attuned to what other people were thinking and feeling. After struggling through the academic part of high school and making the All-Star teams in basketball and soccer, I went to college, majored in psychology, got my master’s degree in counseling, and began working with people in need. After a few years working as a Psychologist in a Community Mental Health Center, I got into a great grad school, got my Ph.D., and continued working with people. I also got married to my college sweetheart, moved to Colorado and had two beautiful daughters. I worked hard in my field and slowly became a pioneer in one of my areas of interest, the psychology of men.
Raising, nurturing, and developing a loving relationship with my two daughters and taking care of my family became my priority and a source of unspeakable joy. As my kids grew up, my career also grew with groundbreaking books, innovative workshops, a lucrative coaching/consulting practice, national media appearances, and keynote speeches for distinguished organizations and conferences around the world. I became a noted spokesperson for for family and relationship psychology.
At age 18, my older daughter, Jenna, was voted one of America’s Future Leaders, attended the Presidents Leadership Institute, became the first Jewish President of her sorority, and took a job with MTV “to change its misogynist culture.” In the second semester of her junior year, she traveled the world on a Semester-at-Sea program and her life ended tragically from injuries suffered in a bus accident near the Taj Mahal in India. My life as I knew it also ended with her death. I pulled back from my career and started a non-profit foundation in her name and for 18 years, I grew The Jenna Druck Center into an award-winning non-profit organization. Helping bereaved families through our Families Helping Families Program and training young women to be leaders through the Spirit of Leadership program that Jenna had created at age 16 became my mission in life.
Having lost her big sister, my younger daughter, Stefie (who had inherited many of my “learning differences”), struggled to finish high school and my wife and I separated, Stefie moved out of the family home, took a great job in downtown San Diego, became their most successful salesperson and grew into an amazing young woman.
I founded and ran The Jenna Druck Center, working 70-80 hrs. a week for 18 years and became an expert in traumatic loss. In addition to the 750 families for who we became a lifeline every year, I had the honor a privilege of being called to help families and communities after tragedies including 9-11, Columbine, Sandy Hook, Boston, and Las Vegas. After 18 years in my “mission of service” honoring my daughter, Jenna, it was time to turn the pages of my life. I began reaching thousand more people by writing books, speaking, and teaching about everything I had learned. With literally hundreds of articles, interviews, podcasts, radio shows, and appearances on network television, CNN, and PBS Specials, my life’s work was recognized with the “Distinguished Contribution to Psychology,” “Visionary Leadership,” and “Family Advocate of the Year” awards.
Above these accomplishments was the pride I felt having honored Jenna, the joy I felt with my daughter, Stefie, her husband, Tony, and their two amazing sons, and the love I found with my beloved, Lisette. Each season of my life has had its changes, challenges, setbacks, losses, miracles, and opportunities. I walk with a limp in my heart from losing Jenna, who I miss every day, but I live a blessed life with a heart full of love and deep gratitude.
My last of 6 books titled, “How We Go On: Self-Compassion, Courage and Gratitude on the Path Forward,” actually wrote me. It is the distilled essence of my life’s work helping people.
We all face challenges, but looking back, would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
The road is the road. Smooth in some places. Bumpy in others. Growing up in a post-holocaust family, overcoming my “learning differences,” having to suddenly end/modify my athletic career, searching for the energy to finish my doctorate, losing Jenna, helping my daughter, Stefie, ending my 26-year marriage, running a non-profit foundation for 18 years, radically changing my life at age 65, recovering from brain surgery at age 74, caring for an aging body, putting “my house” in order to leave a legacy of love, and summoning the courage, faith, gratitude and strength to face end-of-life issues have all been life-altering challenges. I have done my best to face them all with courage.
Thanks – so, what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
While I have done pioneering work in the psychology of men, parenting, grief literacy, aging, family relationships, and resilience as a writer, speaker, trainer, coach/consultant and media expert, I’m focused on two things. First is showing up for and enjoying every moment of this life in as much as that is possible. Second is fighting with every ounce of strength to leave this world a safer, kinder, more civil and compassionate place for my daughter and her children.
What sets me apart is having worked on the front lines and in the trenches. What I know comes from personal experience and deep work with diverse people for over 45 years. I have first-hand experience doing things in places that few people in my profession get to do. And I’ve learned how to break it all down for my readers, listeners, clients, and audiences into simple, understandable language that inspires them to summon the courage, strength, humility, self-compassion, and honesty to move forward.
Can you talk to us a bit about the role of luck?
Bad luck ended my daughter’s life, erased her future, and ended my life as I knew it. Good luck blessed me with two amazing daughters, an amazing Son-in-Law, two extraordinary grandsons, and a loving partner.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.HowWeGoOn.com, www.kendruck.com
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/drkendruck
Image Credits
Lisette Omoss
