Today we’d like to introduce you to Monica Stapleton.
Hi Monica, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?
I became a Marriage and Family Therapist in 2006. Soon after I had my first of three children, I began staying home to care for them. I had always been involved in the community as a volunteer of some type but was not practicing in my profession. I was missing being able to help people in a therapeutic setting and using my license. As a new mother I began to notice that many of the women I met all had the same struggles in regard to parenting and adjusting to our new roles. It seemed to me that modern day mothers had many pressures on them succeed and to do everything just right. There was an overwhelming amount of information and expectations that seemed to follow mothers, creating anxiety for many.
As my children grew more independent, I began to explore some opportunities that could enable me to put my license and my experience to use. Fortunately for me there was a wonderful local immigrant community in my town of Solana Beach. Many of these families were originally from Mexico, and being that I speak Spanish, I knew it was a great fit. I began to connect with local Solana Beach non-profits, and the schools to assess the needs of the community and how I could meet them. I felt very supported by various local groups.
After researching the needs of the community, I created 28- week Psychosocial Educational Parenting Support group for Spanish Speaking women. I devised a curriculum and began promoting the program within the community. I went to several local meetings and invited people to join. The City of Solana Beach awarded me a generous grant that allowed me to start and grow the program which I named – ‘Pláticas de Mejorar’ which translates to Self-Improvement Chats.
I immediately had around a dozen mothers attending the group and it was an instant success. I found that there was a very high need for connection, education, support, and recreation. These mothers have been an absolute joy and honor to work with. They are so devoted to their families and to living the American dream. They have inspired me endlessly and I feel extremely rewarded.
I have been very pleased with their success and the support I have received from the community. I have a handful of friends and volunteers that have offered their experience with the group. We have been able to learn expressive art therapy, paint for an upcoming art show. We have also started practicing mediation and yoga.
Each of these beautiful women bring such value to the group and they all are there to learn and grow. They have such a beautiful perspective on life and have had so many challenges to overcome. We have all been so vulnerable and authentic and have brought out the best in each other. They have been setting goals and continuously working towards improving their mental and emotional well-being. It has been a joy to see, and I hope to continue this program as long as possible. I am extremely grateful for the support and generosity from the Solana Beach City and community.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
I have been very fortunate to feel support from the community in this group. There were some challenges during the pandemic as we were unable to meet in person for some time. I felt as though I had abandoned the mothers and felt quite helpless. We did meet “virtually,” however it was not the same thing of course. Fortunately, I was able to secure an outside space as we were able to meet and provide these mothers with some support. I was very pleased with the efforts I made to demonstrate to them that they were not alone.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
The work that I have done in this group is special because it is very organic. I learned very quickly that the key to success for this group was to address the needs rather than think I know what the needs are. When I hear the same challenge from several women, I realize I have to provide education and support in this area. I also have learned to be very flexible and let the discussions flow naturally and giving everyone the opportunity to be validated. This often means that everything I have planned for that class goes out the window. I have realized that as long as they are engaged and learning from each other, they are growing and happy. I am very proud for putting their needs first and providing the tools and the space for personal development. It’s very easy and common to allow your ego and need for external validation and approval to trump the needs of others. I also really enjoy outside collaboration so when someone wants to share their experience with us, I provide the space for that also. I had a friend recently join us to share her love of painting. I quickly realized that they loved painting and were having such a great time. We decided to continue painting and we will have an art show exhibiting their work in May. We have established a very positive atmosphere filled with respect and compassion. I feel very rewarded knowing that I have helped mothers improve the quality of their lives. In turn, their families will experience the positive effects.
What makes you happy?
Creating and collaborating make me happy. I always have the need to create, whether it be experiences. relationships, art, ideas, lessons, or events. I feel we are at our best when working together and putting our best ideas forward. When you let other people shine and doing what they are best at, we get the maximum results. I like taking on big long-term projects that provide great results that are not always immediately seen. The group is a good example of this because I don’t get a lot of immediate feedback from the mothers and it’s not something I ask for. It’s important for them to take ownership of their successes and not attribute them to anyone else. From time to time, I am told of the important positive changes that people have made in their life after our meetings and I know my work is meaningful.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.platicasdemejorar.com
