Today we’d like to introduce you to Paul W. Koester.
So, before we jump into specific questions about the business, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
I have to go back 46 years to begin this story. I recall being five and drawing various cartoon characters from my childhood books. At the time, I lived in the small town of Wisconsin Rapids, WI. My Mother, Sister and I lived in a small two-bedroom run down upstairs apartment. When not getting in trouble, I would spend hours drawing. Looking back at my youth I see myself very interested in art. Whether it was photography which I began a serious interest in when I was only six or all the other wonderful media I was introduced to later on in high school.
Unfortunately, I did not have the influence nor the inspiration to pursue art passionately as a youth. Art was not discussed, nor did I have any formal education outside of high school concerning art itself, the history of nor any theory. Any of which I now know only from my own personal studies. My attempts as a teen to truly enjoy art where often squashed with the importance of religion coupled with the fears of the end of the world often associated with religion and conspiracy theories. Fear kept me from continuing forward for much of my teenage and young adult years. Eventually, my independent religious studies led me to the belief that there is so much more to life than just one philosophy. This ultimately led me to abandon all religions, God, church, spirituality and etc.
I left my home in Wisconsin when I was 19 and moved to Athens, GA. I was very naive, young and grew up sheltered by religion. Georgia was a culture shock and I struggled to assimilate. Fortunately, my saving grace was that I lived in Athens which was a melting pot of sorts. I worked several jobs over a 3-year period. As time went on, I realized that if I wanted to move forward, I needed education and experience. Much of what I have learned in this life I have had to figure out on my own. There have been people along the way who have shown their love and who have reached out to offer their support. However, I was thrust into the world very ignorantly, somehow my parents thought I would survive this way. I did survive, but I would not recommend this process. Eventually, I became as close as possible to becoming homeless. With my back up against the wall out of desperation, I decided to join the military. I started with Air Force but in my dire situation, it would have taken too long to enter. Therefore, I chose the Navy and I would be in and entering boot camp in a few short months. As time drew near to my entry date, my financial situation worsened. My power was cut off in around January of 1990. I had a little over a month to go before I was in a better place. I somehow managed to get by without power and finally in February of 1990, I was a member of the US Navy.
In the Navy, I spent much of my free time drawing or occasionally painting. There were also Navy sanctioned art projects that I would participate in. While attending boot camp in Orlando, Florida in 1990, I was tasked with creating and painting the company flag and painting the company logo on the division office wall. My main task in the Navy was as an Electronics Technician which has taken me to many terrific places in this life. Not just physical locations throughout the world but places career-wise that would have never happened otherwise. After boot camp, there was two years of selective Navy training in Orlando, FL, Great Lakes, IL and Norfolk, VA. After Norfolk, I chose my duty station to be 32nd St. San Diego, CA and spent the next 3.5 years onboard the destroyer tender the USS Cape Cod AD43. In the last six months in the Navy, I spent setting up a shop that repaired and built thermal imaging cameras. These cameras were some of the first in firefighting tools used to locate trapped humans/animals in otherwise blind situations. The cameras utilized infrared as the frequency to detect varying heat signatures. During this 6-month period, I wrote a comprehensive technical manual which guided the technician in understanding the camera in great detail and in troubleshooting failures.
In 1996, I was honorably discharged from the US Navy. I always knew the Navy would only be a stepping stone for me; just another stage to get me to where I wanted to be next. As life would have it, not all of my steps have been in the right direction. However, regardless of how non-linear the path might appear, we still seem to somehow get to where we are supposed to be.
After the Navy, I entered the popular Biotech/Pharmaceutical industry in San Diego. Though the field I was in was very niche, I did quite well in this secondary career path. I say secondary because my primary was always my art. By 1998, I was already working for myself in a way that I had never envisioned. Shortly out of the Navy, I began making small water fountain/waterfalls for the home or garden. They were small and portable but in most cases extremely heavy. Some of my later versions weighed up to 250 pounds all of which I was making in my studio apartment. I would kill myself doing shows, the setup and tear down was brutal. Yet something still drove me to do it. This ultimately segued into going full-time designing, creating and constructing large scale commercial and residential custom waterfalls. Coupled with the fact that in 1998, the company I worked for downsized. I felt it was an opportunity to live my dream that I probably would not have had otherwise. By the year 2000, I was doing quite well and had a steady flow of contracts mostly via word of mouth. In October of 2001, my oldest daughter came into the world. Out of fear, I decided to finish up my last large scale waterfall in Escondido, CA and then go back to working in biotech. Interestingly enough, the day before we learned of the pregnancy, a good friend called and had informed me of a job opening at the company he worked for. This began a 14+ year stay in the pharmaceutical industry.
Several failed business ideas later in around 2009, I began to take another serious look at my photography. I realized that everything I was doing in some manner involved photography. This coupled with the fact that much of my life it seemed I was always the one holding the camera. Since the 1990s, I had wanted to go professional but I felt I lacked the experience. In 2011, I upgraded all of my camera equipment and decided to get more serious. This was also in hindsight to the fact that eventually, I would leave biotech for good. I just didn’t know when at the time.
In 2014, I was let go from my position as an instrumentation and controls engineer. The company I worked for was taken over by a much larger company. The writing on the wall had been evident for several years. I personally was informed well in advance that I would no longer have a job. I agreed to stay on until my time was complete. Since April of 2014, I have been solely working for myself as “Koester Productions”. Though it seems I have given much of my life to the corporate world, there is still another side to the story. My role in the pharmaceutical world gave me many skills that I am able to translate over to my art. Most importantly are the programming and automation portions as well as the mechanical skills I obtained. Much of this can be seen in my elaborate Halloween scenes. I am always looking for ways to tie my electrical background into my art.
As I poured my heart, mind and soul into my business it began to take a toll on my personal and physical life. Additionally, my marriage began to fall apart. Ultimately, my fortitude, passion and desire to succeed as an artist-led to the complete dissolution of my marriage. Painfully, my marriage ended in 2016. With mostly my 401k as “income”, I continued to struggle making the business and my life work.
In 2016, I began living illegally in my art studio at Space 4 Art. Initially, I don’t know that they (other artists and the owners) knew I was actually living there. Though I was extremely discrete and respectful about it, it still wasn’t authorized. At the time, I felt I had no real alternatives, I was desperate and didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. My immediate neighbor was residing in a live/work studio and had told me that several artists had unsuccessfully attempted to live in the very studio I was carefully and quietly living in when he told me the stories. I want to believe that my character and work ethic were the reasons I was allowed to “live” there. I know they figured it out eventually, but no one ever said a word. Eventually, further down the road, doors opened for me to get a wonderful live/work unit.
Despite set back after set back, I have never given up hope and I have always known that I would be successful. Sometimes, it takes longer than what we want. Sometimes, we need to take a step back and do some examining.
Fortunately, I was not completely alone during this process. My beautiful girlfriend Kelly Richards was there with me the whole time. However, our situation was far from ideal. At the time, Kelly and I were in a very long-distance relationship. She was in Orlando, FL while I was in San Diego. Like I mentioned, it was not at all ideal. Fortunately, we live in an age where we no longer rely solely on the postal service to deliver our thoughts and care to our loved ones. We stayed in communication throughout the day, every day via text, phone calls and/or face time. At times it could feel a bit too virtual, but obviously we made it work. Speaking of virtual, Kelly and I met online via our common photography interests. Kelly is also a photographer, an excellent artist and works remotely as a programmer for a San Diego based tech corporation. Over time, we nurtured a compassionate relationship that has since brought us together under one roof. I am incredibly blessed to have this caring loving person in my life!
As 2017 rolled around, many more unpleasant changes occurred. Space 4 Art was threatened with having to possibly vacate the premises. Fortunately, a deal was brokered between Space 4 Art and the new owners of the buildings we occupied which involved a massive exodus of several of the spaces we were renting. This also meant we had to move all the belongings out and then disassemble all of the studios in those areas. We also had to disassemble a large stage, a tiny home prototype and the classrooms. In addition to the move, we had to completely retrofit another building so that it could be maximized and converted into an office and art studios. This meant that I had to vacate the studio I was living in. This was devastating news to Space 4 Art and of course, myself. This was all to be done in a few short months! Time to panic, yes, but I really could not share my true thoughts with Space 4 Art. I was living there but wasn’t supposed to be. Therefore, I could not voice any of my concerns. Instead, I worked every day I could in order to help move and build what needed to be built. One of the studios being built was mine to occupy. It was a live/work, which is what I desperately needed. However, would it be done in time? Would we even be able to move in? During this process, we were completely shut down twice by the new owners. Each time my heart would stop and I would begin fearing the possibility that I might be living on the street soon. I had to remind myself that I chose this path and that it would work itself out. I just had absolutely no idea whatsoever how.
On top of moving truckload after truckload of materials at Space 4 Art. I had to move my belongings out of my house in Santee, CA. My ex-wife informed me that she was moving to Idaho to begin a new life with her new husband. This was devastating news to me as it meant I would no longer be able to see my beautiful daughters on a regular basis. Somehow miraculously, I conjured the strength and energy to move my belongings to a nearby storage unit. I had no other options for storing my belongings being that my situation at Space 4 Art was very uncertain.
Due to the situation in my personal life and at Space 4 Art, my focus on my art was negligible. As a result, my sales dwindled, my networking lacked and my social media suffered. I am sure that many of my friendships and close relationships also suffered greatly during this time.
In July of 2017, I was able to secure one of the original live/work units at Space 4 Art. This was a new start for me. It was also a leap of faith being that this unit was much more expensive than what I had been paying. I loved my new home, I made it my own. I felt that I was in a very good place. It also meant that I had to stop helping out at Space 4 Art in the capacity that I was working and had to get very focused on my art once again.
As the months rolled by, my life became bleaker by the day. My art sales were slow; there would be long gaps between sales. I began to feel sick in my body and depression began to manifest itself. I didn’t realize it but I was already depressed to some extent all the way back to 2015. Though my divorce was very amicable, afterwards the depression really took hold. Yet I was not aware of it. In addition to the depression, fibromyalgia also manifested itself throughout my body. The pain of missing my daughters and not being with Kelly did not make matters any easier.
During this time period of difficulty, I began to call out to the Universe for help and guidance. Remember I gave up all ideas of spirituality years ago. Yet there I was in 2017, in all earnestness, calling out to the Universe for something, anything.
I began to sell off my possessions and take handyman jobs to supplement the little income I had. As 2018 rolled around, I realized I had to make some hard decisions. Kelly wanted me to move to Florida for quite some time. I felt that there really were no committed ties to San Diego now that my girls were living in Idaho. So, I decided that once my lease was up at Space 4 Art, I would move to Florida to finally be with my love. This meant many things. It meant admitting failure, not necessarily defeat, but it was a certain failure. It meant dissolving much of my possessions. It meant saying goodbye to 28 years of life, experiences, friendships, hard work, many good times and everything else that goes into leaving a place you adore. Countless cherished memories that significantly contribute to the person I am today.
What items I did not sell or give away I loaded into my truck, u-haul trailer and a small PODs container. I calculated that I walked over 20 miles carrying my items to either of those three. I’m pretty sure I wore a grove into those old wooden floors at Space 4 Art.
Instead of driving directly East, I drove North. My plan was to visit my daughters in Idaho, drive East to Wisconsin to visit family and then South to Florida to finally be with my love. I did exactly that and visited the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah, Yellowstone National Park, Grand Teton National Park, Devils Tower and the Great Smokey Mountains in between. I have traveled cross country many times. I could do it over and over again. There is an infinite amount of breathtaking scenery in this country let alone the entire earth.
I have now lived in central Florida for about 1.5 years. The transition into this new life here has been difficult. I couldn’t have foreseen how difficult it would be to do almost everything. Eventually, I felt very stuck and my depression deepened; again not really realizing I was depressed. I went from having an incredible studio with all my tools, supplies and a clean workspace to a humid, dusty, dirty, hot carport. Many many thoughts of what I used to have coupled with the great distance between myself and my daughters led me to not wanting to live. Yet I had to live for them and Kelly. I had to live for myself, I knew then and I know now that I am not finished with what I need to accomplish in this life. Somehow though my depression deepened and my resources few I still continued on my way little by little every day.
In around March of 2019, I finally burst through the wall of depression. I was at my wit’s end. Nothing was working the way I envisioned. The art shows that I exhibited were not successful at all. Any and all job leads or opportunities consistently ended with no communication. My self-worth, importance, purpose, abilities all came into question. I screamed at the Universe. I was so scared, so lost, so angry and so confused. Why was I given all the talent and knowledge I have and it cannot be utilized? What is the point of giving me the skills I have if they are wasted? I felt for a very long time that I was equivalent to someone who had squandered their life, the outcome seemed the same. I knew deep down that those thoughts were complete lies, but at the time felt like the truth. I could not understand why I was in the same boat as this person who did nothing with their life. It took several very emotional heart to heart talks with myself before I broke through that wall. When I did, I fully realized that I had been very depressed and eventually I was able to look at that depression and separate myself from it. This led me to some very serious soul searching which is ongoing to this day.
I consistently questioned my lack of success. Which naturally was based on sales or in other words money. Though I had all the tools to be a successful artist, I did not feel successful at all. In many ways, I am and had been and thoughtfully always will be a successful artist. Yet the fruits of that successful artist had been difficult for me to see because the vision of myself is so vast. So, my conclusion was that there must be something fundamentally wrong with me as a human. What is wrong with Paul W. Koester that has prevented him from realizing his full potential? That answer always lies within us. Since bursting through that wall of depression life has dramatically changed for me in a good way. Yes, it is still incredibly challenging seemingly all the time. Kelly and I still face moments where we still do not understand why life still throws big ugly mean punches our way. The biggest or hardest part of any challenge is accepting it. Acceptance doesn’t mean letting it bowl you over. Actually it is the opposite. Like a roller-coaster, if you go with it, it isn’t as bad. Fight it and it feels horrible. My entire life, I have fought the changes or challenges that have been part of my life versus looking at the challenge and seeing it for what it is. Fighting it and constantly getting angry will always lead to further problems. I would carry that anger with me and expect others to understand what I felt and/or wanted them to share in my anger and feel what I felt. It is one thing to vent and share a situation with someone you love and trust. It is different to continue to carry that anger and not let it go. The anger increases when the venting falls onto deaf or misunderstanding ears or when we do not get the reaction we were hoping for. I lived much of my life up to now living in my anger and hurt not knowing how to deal with it. I have since learned that it is ok to be sad, disappointed, and upset; but not to live in those moments for longer than necessary. I have learned to not let those circumstances become who I am or affect my being. We all go through various circumstances every day, all day long. There is little we can do to avoid the variables that exist external to us. We always have a choice as to how we let those events affect us. The more we are able to observe what is happening the more we can actually control or make decisions regarding it. This can be done in the most horrific of situations. What I have endured over the past several years is a pittance compared to what others have overcome. Yet it might be more than others would have been able to bear. It comes down to not comparing ourselves to others. Each of us is unique and we all having a tipping point. The key is to truly understand ourselves in all manners so that we don’t get close to that tipping point.
Today, my studio is my large very comfortable and clean garage located in beautiful Belle Isle, FL. I don’t worry much anymore about landscapers (leaf blowers), wind, dust, bugs, lizards, rain, flooding and etc. It is perfect for all of my needs. I create here, learn here and meditate here. It is here from where I write this that from absolute nothingness many many wonderful creations will come forth. It is my dream that meaningful art will adorn all homes, businesses and offices everywhere. It is my hope that once again the power, positivity, love and light of art will be realized and that all people will come to understand its magic and purpose.
For me, my professional photography as a whole reflects the balance between nature in its perfection and life on the street in all of its humanity. The two are incredibly human in that we need them both. Nature brings me back to reality, the rest is fake. In addition to photography, I am a multimedia artist. I began to paint and create mixed media art more frequently prior to leaving San Diego. Photography is well established in my life, therefore as of late much of my focus has been on painting and or creating something involving painting. My canvases are often found items and the works may include found items and/or otherwise discarded items left out for the trash pickup. I have recently submitted some of my work into upcoming shows and I am currently waiting on the judge’s final decision on acceptance for those pieces. Blessings to All! Paul
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
As you can see from my elaborate story, it has been far from easy. As to not be completely negative, I have omitted the many countless setbacks and obstacles that have come my way. Interwoven in my story there have been heaps of good bestowed to me. Good fortune comes with the bad. The point of my story is not to glorify the bad, but to learn from it, understand it and be able to put it into perspective. This then will allow us to use wisdom in the challenges that lie ahead. There are so many artist friends that I know who struggle to make sense of it all. Many are currently depressed or have gone through it, we have been tested and for many of us, we are stronger and more courageous than ever. Many of us are purposefully bettering ourselves and striving to become better humans because of it. Therefore today, I can honestly say I am thankful for all that I have gone through to get me to here.
Koester Productions – what should we know? What do you guys do best? What sets you apart from the competition?
The majority of my business is focused on photography. Some of my work can be found in San Diego at Amethyst Moon in La Mesa at Alexia Rose Artist studio in Liberty Station and at both Smart Space locations in Kearney Mesa and Vista. In addition to the professional photography found on my website, I often shoot events and other commissioned work.
My photography has two sides to it, a Yin and Yang aspect in a sense. I find balance in the two extremes of nature and the street. However, if I had to pick between the two as far as peace and love are concerned, that would be nature. We have a lot to learn about nature and how it relates to our being. As far as capturing the two, I love them both equally but for different reasons. The extremes of the city in their own right are beautiful and flawless for what they are, nature cannot duplicate the city therefore the city reigns superior in what the city has to offer. On the other side of the equation, the city i.e. humanity cannot duplicate nature. Therefore nature reigns supreme in what she brings forth. Both give me great happiness in capturing the unique moments in time.
I also paint and sculpt and love creating mixed media works of art. As of late much of my time is spent working on mixed media projects. Most of my supplies come from found items and or items put out to the curb for the trash pickup. I see these items having a new chance, a salvation of sorts. Then, of course, those items will not be making their way to the landfill any time soon. I recently entered a piece into a juried exhibit in which I found the piece alongside the road. It is a table that is over 100 years old. Instead of it being crushed and mangled by the trash truck it is now a wonderful piece of art.
What is “success” or “successful” for you?
It is difficult to say that success is not about money when the world seemingly revolves around it. Yet an artist can be piss poor broke and that will not stop them from creating. Therefore, it is difficult for some to talk about what it means to be successful without it somehow leading to the subject of money.
Being successful to me is being able to be in a place where I am at the liberty to create without restriction. Much of that revolves around me understanding myself and being free and accepting of where I am at now. Versus the thought process of “if I had more money I would be able to do this or this or…”. It seems it would be easier to create if I had more means to do so. For example unlimited funds to be able to procure whatever media or supplies necessary to complete a project. In some manner of speaking it might look like cheating if I can just buy whatever to create my art. If I have to really work and be mindful of my media, then by default, more thought goes into the work. Success then is each completed work and the ability to move onto the next. In other words, many of the struggles that were once holding me back no longer have an effect on me.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.artist-perspective.com/
- Phone: 619-504-9605
- Email: artist_perspective@yahoo.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paulwkoester/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pkoester1
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/Artperspective1
- Other: https://www.facebook.com/Artistperspective1/
Image Credit:
Paul W. Koester Photography and Kelly L. Richards Photography
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