Today we’d like to introduce you to Suzanne Spector.
Hi Suzanne, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today.
I’m 86 years old and I’m still going strong, well strong enough to be engaged with life and excited to be learning new things. Nine years ago, I took my first writing class at the local adult school in Encinitas. When that class was over, the teacher invited me into her weekly writing group, then a monthly journaling group who have become dear sisters over these last eight years. Classes at Writers Ink led to a professional writing coach and joining her weekly group of talented writers who shared their stories and encouraged and guided me. With their support, I have published my first book, a memoir titled Naked at the Helm: Independence and Intimacy in the Second Half of Life (SheWrites Press, August 2022).
We all face challenges, but looking back, would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
My memoir, Naked at The Helm, starts with me leaving my marriage, suburban family life with my three daughters, and my first career as an educator. It ends with me winning a writing competition with a story about the hot love affair I got into at 80. My story about sex at eighty was a big hit! There were plenty of obstacles and challenges along the way. I had listened to my inner voice saying, “leave the marriage,” “leave the school,” “sell the house, get out of suburbia, and move to New York City,” but then, when I got there, I crashed. I realized that I didn’t really know who I was.” I spent three years in therapy finding the me inside the roles and prescriptions. Then I heard my I inner voice saying, “you love the sunshine and the beach, and you resonate with the person-centered psychology of Carl Rogers and his associates, move to California and trust. You will find a way to get connected with them.” I did.
Looking back, I see that a trip I took to Greece with my best friend and then to Spain by myself were baby steps that helped get me ready for the big leap of moving to San Diego alone, without friends, family, or job. That was the biggest single leap of my life. Then I got involved with an older man who took me riding on his motorcycle up the coast to Oceanside at first, then out to Julian, and eventually across the country. What I learned from that relationship in which I was merely a passenger in his life was that I wanted to be the captain at the helm of my own life. That all clicked into place when I was fifty.
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I moved from New York to San Diego alone, with no job or friends, only a “calling” to an organization in La Jolla founded by a group that included world-renowned psychologist Carl Rogers whose books I loved. Five years after I moved here, I was elected Director of that organization. In my fifties, I earned my Ph.D. in psychology and started a wonderful career that took me to such faraway places as Leningrad, Siberia, and Uzbekistan and participating in conferences in Brazil and South Africa. In my sixties and seventies, I travelled and took up art-making and writing to continue to explore new parts of my brain and my being.
I did not intend to write a memoir, but when I saw the reaction of the women in my writing groups to my stories, I realized that younger women had a totally different conception about aging than my lived experience. Mine were not the tales their mothers and grandmothers had told. I saw how hearing my story was changing their attitudes about aging and trying new things.
Naked at the Helm: Independence and Intimacy in the Second Half of Life was published by She Writes Press on August 9, 2022. It’s available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Target, and other independent bookstores. I’m a big supporter of independent bookstores, so I hope to be doing local book signings at Diesel in Del Mar and Warwicks in La Jolla after it comes out. At 86, as I think about my future, I see myself meeting with book clubs and doing readings at our wonderful San Diego County libraries.
We’re always looking for the lessons that can be learned in any situation, including tragic ones like the Covid-19 crisis. Are there any lessons you’ve learned that you can share?
1. Listen to your inner voice. You are responsible for your own happiness.
2. Take the leaps, big and small. They add up to an interesting and fulfilled life. It’s never too late!
3. Keep fit. A daily 35-minute walk and good nutrition (low on carbs, sugars, fat, dairy) has made me much healthier and in much less pain than when I was younger. No wine after 8 pm.
4. Try to accept limitations with grace and a ‘cup half full’ attitude.
5. Connection. Do your part to maintain open, authentic, caring relationships.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.suzannespector.com
- Instagram: @spectorsuz
- Facebook: @SuzanneSpectorAuthor
Image Credits
Michele Goane
