Today we’d like to introduce you to Annie Murray.
Annie, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
“We have a secret in our culture, and it’s not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong.”
– Laura Stavoe Harm
My own journey to motherhood – and beyond – was the impetus for planning, organizing, and hosting the “Strong as a Mother” maternal health event. Held over Mother’s Day Weekend in Coronado, this was the second annual community-led event celebrating motherhood and the strong women in our lives. All proceeds benefited the non-profit organization Every Mother Counts, whose mission is to make pregnancy and childbirth safer for all women everywhere.
Becoming a mother was difficult for me. My husband and I dealt with infertility and I eventually became pregnant via IVF. Then, after the birth of my second son, Jack, nearly four years ago, I experienced severe complications. What most people do not know is that I experienced multiple postpartum hemorrhages, and I required four emergency surgeries, blood transfusions equating to roughly twice my total blood volume, an emergency hysterectomy, and resuscitation to survive. It was the most challenging time of my life; and with my husband, who is a military pilot, deployed for part of that time, I felt extremely alone.
I felt, and still do to an extent, that women do not talk about the struggles surrounding motherhood enough. We tend to feel as though we need to have everything figured out on our own, and that is just not reality. We also tend to stay quiet about certain experiences – infertility, miscarriage, mental health issues, children with special needs – instead of talking about it and forming meaningful connections with other women.
Becoming involved with Every Mother Counts made me feel less alone. As an Ambassador for the organization, I have worked to raise awareness and funds that provide practical and life-saving interventions for moms and babies all over the world. My involvement has allowed me to find purpose from everything that has happened after Jack was born, and it helps shape and give meaning to my experiences. It has given me perspective, in that my story is just a part of the much larger picture of the many issues facing mothers around the world.
I have had the privilege of meeting the most wonderful people, forming connections with women (and men) who have shared values and who support women’s reproductive issues and more broadly women’s health. In fact, a shared involvement in Every Mother Counts is how I met Miranda Toledo, my “Strong as a Mother” event co-host and fast friend. Miranda felt drawn to advocacy and birth work after hearing of her own mother’s birth experience. At delivery, it was found that Miranda had a meconium aspiration, which led to severe health complications and traumatic experience for her mother. Miranda’s mother often shared how supported she felt and how well-trained the clinicians were for such an event, which made all the difference. Realizing the importance of safe and timely intervention, Miranda served as a birth doula before volunteering as an Ambassador for Every Mother Counts.
The “Strong as a Mother” event exceeded all of our expectations. The community really showed up; local businesses donated everything from food and drink to amazingly generous raffle items for the event, including the venue as well. Women came from all over the San Diego area to drink champagne while screening the short documentary, Giving Birth in America: California. They engaged with a panel of birth workers, which included Gerri Ryan, Care Messer, Nikki Helms, and therapist Bethany Warren, four fiercely strong advocates for birthing women in our communities.
But the energy created at the event was what was most magical. We felt like we created a space that moms could come to – with their babies – and feel completely comfortable and not judged. Moms felt empowered and strong, and to us that was everything. We have since heard from women who said that they continued conversations after the event, discussing ideas and how to keep that vibe going, and what kind of woman and ally-of-moms they wanted to be. Those are the intangibles that we couldn’t capture with a dollar amount or other concrete markers of a successful charity event. We also sold “Strong as a Mother” tees at the event – and truthfully, I was not very excited about having a side hustle t-shirt gig – but the response was overwhelmingly positive. We have received dozens of pictures of women all over the country wearing their “Strong as a Mother” tees and it is clear that women feel empowered when wearing that shirt. They are flexing, and smiling, and shining. And strong.
In my opinion, all women possess superpowers. Whether a mother or not, we all have the power to conceive positivity and acceptance. And I hope that is what we did, even if just for a morning.
Please tell us about Every Mother Counts – what should we know?
It’s funny, because what I do for my “day job” has nothing to do with maternal health or the birth industry. I am a Clinical Neuropsychologist and Medical Director at a Traumatic Brain Injury Center.
My work with EMC has happened organically, and during my “free time”. The organization was founded in 2010 by Christy Turlington Burns, with the mission to help women not just survive, but thrive in motherhood. More broadly, EMC has worked to identify barriers for women, and worked to provide practical and meaningful solutions so that all women may have safe, respectful, and equitable pregnancy and childbirth experiences.
The statistics surrounding maternal health care are compelling, and once I became aware, I could not look away. The U.S. is the only industrialized nation with a growing maternal mortality rate, despite spending the greatest amount of money on healthcare per capita. In fact, it’s now more dangerous to give birth than it was for our own mothers. Childbirth and pregnancy are particularly dangerous for women of color, as African American women are 3-4 times more likely to die than white women, a statistic that climbs to 12 times more likely in certain areas such as New York City. Research has pointed to systemic racism within our own healthcare systems as a cause for this unacceptable disparity. More attention must be placed on helping woman of marginalized cultures, and finding solutions for those without health insurance or access to prenatal care.
If we truly say that we value moms and babies, then how can we not support programs that lift up all women? Despite my complications, I can now say that my family had the best outcome possible – a healthy mom and a healthy baby. Sadly, that doesn’t always happen. My story is just a small part of the tapestry of mothers’ experiences in bringing life into this world. There is healing in being part of something bigger than yourself. I will continue to do everything in my power to make sure that every woman gets their best outcome. Every mother counts.
Which women have inspired you in your life?
Oh my gosh, there are so many.
Of course, I am inspired by Christy Turlington-Burns, who founded Every Mother Counts after her own childbirth complications. By sharing her own story, she taught me and many others the value of storytelling in generating empathy and action. With her leadership, EMC has addressed issues such as inequities in maternal health care, highlighting the barriers that many women face in gaining access to life-saving medical care. Beyond that, I have formed close connections and friendships with many of the women I’ve met through EMC who also inspire me.
My community of Coronado is a beach town with a substantial military population due to its proximity to the North Island airfield. I’m inspired daily by the women who I see keeping their families together and getting kids fed and bathed, homework done, and all of the million other things that moms do daily, by themselves. Those are the same women that will show up at your front door with a meal to feed your family, just because.
I’m inspired by any woman who is just real. I know that’s a generic answer, but I appreciate authenticity. I’ve often wished I had more confidence at times, so each time I see a woman speak her mind unabashedly, I find it inspiring because I wish I could do more of it. I’m trying to anyways.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.everymomcounts.org
- Instagram: @anniereadermurray
- Twitter: @Annie_Murray77
Image Credit:
Paige Powell
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