Today we’d like to introduce you to Kiana Caton.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Kiana. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
Over the past few years, I’ve kind of lived a double life and I’m in this ongoing transition from one life to the next. As a result, my story has two distinct sides to it: Kiana the Model and Kiana the Future Lawyer.
Kiana the Model
I was born and raised in Sacramento, California–the state capital. Some may disagree but I would hardly say that government and politics make Sacramento “fashionable.” Aside from watching America’s Next Top Model religiously as a child, I had no interest in modeling until I was about 10 years old and got scouted by a Wilhelmina agent in a Wal-Mart while visiting family in St. Louis. The nearest Wilhelmina office to Sacramento at the time was in Los Angeles (about a 5-6 hour drive) and my parents quickly shut down the idea of moving to Southern California, so any chance to pursue the offer was out of the question. But I didn’t lose all hope.
A couple of years after I was scouted, I changed from a private elementary school to a public middle school. Being that it was not only the start of middle school but also my first public school, it was a kind of double culture shock for me. While at my private school, I only ever knew the concept of being black. Distinctions between dark skin and light skin were never apparent to me until I became the target of bullying for my dark complexion starting in middle school. Students and teachers, both black and non-black, made comments calling me “black Christmas” and saying things like “Where’s Kiana?” when a teacher would turn the lights off for a movie. As much as I felt the comments were just weird, and as much as I tried to tough it out, it still severely hurt my self-esteem, and the more complex concept of colorism still affects me to this day.
That’s where modeling came in. During 7th grade, I enrolled in a modeling school that goes against what I now know to be the first rule of modeling (you should never pay to do it), but it taught me some basic walking and posing techniques and, more importantly, it boosted my self-esteem. Over the next few years, I started doing some very small-scale fashion shows in Sacramento, and I eventually walked in Sacramento Fashion Week in 2009. In 2011, I moved to San Diego to attend San Diego State University (SDSU), and since I was new to the area, I took a hiatus from modeling for the first couple of years. But one of my college friends told me about a College Fashion Week show hosted by the blog HerCampus. This was a fairly informal show that I did just for fun, but it wound up giving me just the right exposure to ease my way into the San Diego fashion circuit.
After the College Fashion Week show, a local fashion student named Tyler McDaniel approached me about doing a photoshoot for him, and I agreed to it. During the shoot, I met a woman who was styling the shoot and who is still one of my friends to this day, Kristina Acosta. After the shoot, I kept in contact with Kristina and she would occasionally forward me information about casting calls for runway shows. As a result of Kristina’s help, I wound up walking for several local designers. I was also cast in Fashion Week San Diego in 2014, which opened several doors for me, including multiple opportunities to walk for San Diego designer Oseas Villatoro. Eventually, I started to narrow the gigs I was willing to participate in (one of the perks of being freelance) and was looking for things that were lower pressure. I eventually found out about these runways shows that were happening every so often at U-31 in North Park called MayStar’s Fashion Whore Shows. They were fun and exposed me to many designers and stylists, including Acquanette “Kandi” Macon of KottonCandiCo. Kandi has been an amazing person to work with and it’s always a treat when I get to work with her. Through my work with Kandi, I also got to know the lovely Tanya Jenkins of Nea Eshe. Words can’t even describe Tanya’s work. I feel like Tanya has really helped me to establish myself as the type of model I feel comfortable being. I don’t have to wear my hair straight or worry about keeping my weight down to the point that it’s unhealthy or be concerned that she’ll send me out on a runway with my makeup washing me out because a makeup artist used the wrong foundation. Tanya always has my back, and even now that I’m temporarily in Northern California for law school, I try to have hers.
Modeling has really been a sort of lifeline for me, and I can’t even imagine what my self-esteem would be like without it. A lot of people think that modeling is as easy as walking the runway and posing for the camera, but it really is as much a form of expression as any other type of art. It’s a little like dance (which I’ve also done in the past) because you have to be very aware of your body and the angles that it creates, and you have to find the angles that highlight the centerpiece(s) of the look. The image of garments and accessories draped atop a live model adds a layer of complexity that you just don’t get from a hanger or even a mannequin. Once the hair, makeup, and backdrop pull the look together, it’s the model’s job to do a sort of dance with the photographer where they each take turns leading and following until they get just the right shot.
If there’s one thing that modeling has taught me, it’s to embrace my so-called “ugly” dark skin as a natural spotlight to stand out.
Kiana the Future Lawyer
Law school in a nutshell: the first year, they scare you to death; the second year, they work you to death; the third year, they bore you to death.
Just as I didn’t always want to be a model, I didn’t always want to be a lawyer either. When I was a young child, I wanted to go to UC Davis, but I wanted to attend veterinary school. In my early teenage years, I wanted to be a fashion designer, but I didn’t think I was creative enough. So, toward the end of high school, I took an adolescent development class and I loved it. I was accepted to the Child & Family Development program at SDSU and thought I wanted to be a child psychologist. But in my second year of college, I joined a new program called A.I.M. for Law. It was a collaborative three-semester program between SDSU and California Western School of Law in San Diego that tried to get underrepresented minority groups interested in attending law school. In the first semester, we heard from attorneys, judges, and law school admissions officers; we learned the basic style of legal analysis and writing; and we learned about the Law School Admissions Test (LSAT) and how to approach test questions. In the second and third semesters, we also got to participate in mock trials. By the end of the program, I knew I wanted to go to law school. I had no doubts that it would be hard, but I also felt confident in my ability to succeed in law school.
As I approached graduation from SDSU, I decided I wanted to take a short break from school. I needed to be able to dedicate time (and money) to studying for the LSAT and building the strongest possible applications. In total, I wound up taking two years off. I started off working a temporary job at SDSU but left that job to work for the State of California in the Office of Administrative Hearings (OAH) in San Diego. While at OAH, I studied for the LSAT and completed applications to several law schools both in- and out-of-state. The admissions process was stressful mostly because every school tells you that they review applications from a “holistic perspective” without many other details to help gauge your chances of being admitted, so it’s hard to feel that it’s not just a numbers game where all that truly matters is undergraduate GPA and LSAT scores. I also took time to visit some schools in LA and the midwest, so it wound up being a very time-consuming an expensive process. Time after time, I was either getting accepted to schools I didn’t really want to attend, or I was getting in with no scholarships, or I was getting waitlisted. I started to lose hope about my prospects and consider retaking the LSAT and going through another admissions cycle. But one day, I was on the trolley home from work with my coworker, Mae, and I got an email from UC Davis law admissions saying “Congratulations! You’ve been accepted…” and I just teared up. Mae thought something was wrong and I told her I got into UC Davis and she jumped up and hugged me. We were both so excited and it was just such a redeeming moment since I was almost ready to give up on this whole admissions cycle. I knew right away that I would go to Davis because they were generous about scholarships, and also Davis is only 30 minutes from where my parents live. I drove home to Sacramento a few weeks later to visit the law school, and I was sold.
It was hard leaving San Diego, but I knew I had a strong network there and that I would be back. It’s also been a little challenging for me moving back to Northern California because I sacrificed a stable job, being close to friends, a steady flow of modeling gigs, and my overall routines. On top of the stress of moving and re-establishing myself, the first year of law school is usually thought to be the most stressful because it’s like trying to learn a new language and assimilate to a foreign place. The stakes are also high because your first semester grades are what employers look at when students are searching for the all-important summer jobs. Even in a law school community as friendly as Davis, the competition between students is high, and somehow I got stuck in the cohort that was known the be the most competitive/least collaborative of the three cohorts within the first-year class.
I don’t talk about my experience very candidly to many people because it almost seems like there’s this unspoken rule in law school that you don’t showcase your hardships. But the reality for me is that the first semester was very stressful and I almost dropped out halfway through. Imposter syndrome nearly got the best of me and I strongly questioned whether or not I–a young, black woman and first-generation student–belonged in law school and whether it was worth the continued investment. Even with a partial scholarship, I’m still going into substantial debt to cover the remainder of my tuition and living expenses, so it made sense to consider cutting my losses while I was ahead. But I’ve never been the type to quit something just because it’s hard or new to me, and it also would have hurt me to disappoint the many family and friends who were rooting for me. So I talked to our academic support advisor, got some study tips and tutoring, and I tried to focus on finishing my first semester as strongly as I possibly could. It was a bit of a gamble, but so far, I would say it paid off.
Once I changed my mindset, things quickly turned around for the better and the fruits of my hard work started pouring in. I got through my first semester finals and even earned one of the highest grades in my research and writing class. I also spent part of my winter break representing Davis at a regional conference of the National Black Law Students Association, and right before I started my second semester, I got hired for a prestigious summer judicial externship where I worked in the chambers of the Honorable Troy L. Nunley in the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California. From that point forward, things really took off. I felt much more confident during my second semester since I was starting to understand the “game” of law school. I was handling my cold-calls a little bit better, I understood more clearly how to read cases, and I knew who to turn to for support. By the end of my second semester, I had been invited to join the negotiations team and elected to its executive board, as well as the executive board of the Davis chapter of the Black Law Students Association. Going forward, I had a successful summer working for Judge Nunley and got a very strong writing sample out of it. Shortly after I wrapped up that summer job, it was time to start the notorious on-campus interview (OCI) process to try to secure a job for the following summer that may also end up being my first post-bar job. But once again, I was able to skip most of the stress of OCI once I eagerly accepted a summer job offer from a very reputable education law firm.
My upward trajectory continued throughout my second year of law school and not only did I earn better grades, but I was also awarded a scholarship from the Earl B. Gilliam Bar Association of San Diego! Law school really started to feel more manageable and enjoyable to me (though certainly not easier). I definitely worked harder than I did my first year: I had more classes, and I was juggling the responsibilities of two organizations (three if you also count my active membership in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.), and I somehow managed to have a bit of a social life! I survived being scared to death and worked to death, and even though the mantra says the third year is supposed to be boring, I can’t see that happening between classes, bar prep, and serving as the president of the negotiations team AND as the parliamentarian for the Western Region of the National Black Law Students Association. I’m really looking forward to a busy third year!
So, where does all of this leave me at this very moment? Well, I will soon be wrapping up my second (and final) summer job at the education law firm, and at the end, they’ll tell me whether or not they want to hire me for a post-bar job, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that they do! Even though I’m only here for the summer, they made me feel like a real member of the team. They give me real work (I’m not just shadowing and running coffee), they include me in firm events and socials, and most importantly, I can feel that they want to see me succeed. Overall, I enjoy the culture of this firm and the camaraderie among the staff and attorneys. If I land this job, I might be back in San Diego sooner than expected…we’ll see!
Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
No, it absolutely has not been a smooth road. I highlighted a lot of my biggest struggles with trying to pursue a law career in the previous entry and I’ll summarize them here, but I’ve also faced hurdles with modeling.
Obstacles in Modeling
Generally speaking, modeling can be cutthroat. As much as I believe modeling is an art form, the modeling industry thrives on qualifying people’s looks and comparing them to the next person’s, all based on changing trends. It is very true that one day you’re in, the next you’re out. For example, I’ve heard of casting calls turning models of color away because they’ve reached some sort of quota for the show on the number of models allowed from certain backgrounds. The same goes for plus-size models, whose representation is often limited to one or two women (I have yet to hear of a plus-size male model). I’ve seen models with disabilities in recent years, but even these models are far and few. Diversity and representation are major issues in the modeling industry.
Personally, the greatest challenge I faced when modeling was a bigger part of life was building a name for myself. Since I always either worked or attended school full time, there was only so much time that I had to commit to modeling. On top of the lack of time, I also didn’t have an agent to support me and help me land jobs in larger cities, so that ultimately stunted my growth as a model. Eventually, I realized that I had a good network around me in San Diego, and I was happy with things as they were.
Wet Seal – Irvine
Early in my first semester at SDSU, when I was still brand new to Southern California, I heard about a casting call for Wet Seal at their headquarters in Irvine (this was in 2011 before they closed their stores). I remember contacting them because I wasn’t able to make the official casting call, and they were kind enough to reschedule a casting just to see me. I only had one class that day and I skipped it to attend the casting. I didn’t have access to a car in San Diego at the time, so I took the trolley to Santa Fe Depot and rode the Amtrak for the first time ever, by myself, up to Irvine. This was also before Uber/Lyft so I had to take a taxi from the train station to the Wet Seal headquarters. I arrived in time for my casting call appointment, checked in, and waited briefly until two ladies called me into a room. They looked at me, took some snapshots, and took my measurements. After being in the room with them for just a few minutes, they told me “thank you” and suggested I come back when I gained 20 pounds. Just like that, the time and money I spent traveling there went completely to waste.
Obstacles in Modeling – Los Angeles
A few years after the Wet Seal mishap, I had what I consider to be the worst fashion experience of my life so far. Right before Christmas in 2014, another driver struck my car while driving down a street. While my car was at the body shop, the other driver’s insurance covered a rental car for me for a few weeks. During those few weeks with the rental car, I drove to casting in Los Angeles and was immediately cast for the show, which was taking place a couple of weeks later. However, the people at the casting weren’t the designers; they were some kind of production team, which I didn’t realize at the time of the casting. I didn’t think anything would go wrong, so I told my mom about the show and she made plans to drive down to LA from Sacramento to see me walk in the show.
In between the casting and the date of the show, I found out my car was considered totaled because the value of it was lower than the repair cost, and I had to return the rental car, so I was without a car unless I paid to rent my own. Since I needed to get to LA for the show, that’s exactly what I did. At the time, I was only 21 so I had to pay a high fee for being under age 25 on top of the cost of the rental, insurance, taxes, and other fees. I also made arrangements to return the car in LA since my mom offered to drive me back to San Diego. I think the total was close to $200 just for a 24-hour rental.
The day before the show, all models were required to attend a fitting at the venue in LA. I left work early to go to the fitting and also took the following day off so I could be available for the show since it had an early call time. My original plan was to drive to LA for the fitting, drive back to San Diego and sleep at my apartment, and then get back up and drive to LA again for the show. My mom was really concerned about all the driving that I’d have to do and instead, she booked me a hotel room in LA. I picked up my rental and drove up to LA for the fitting. I arrived at the venue and met the production team again and they explained that we would each be separated and assigned to a specific designer once the designers arrived. We spent several hours doing run-throughs until they arrived, and then I learned who my designer was. I followed the other models back to the room where he was fitting us, and he started handing out garments to models. He seemed to keep avoiding me, and finally, he handed out garments to all the models except me and one other girl. She and I were confused about what was going on so we just lingered around for a bit. He kept avoiding us and we eventually realized he wasn’t going to dress us, even though he had additional garments on his rack that had not been assigned. However, the other girl was a bit pushier and eventually forced her way into the show. He completely refused to acknowledge me until he finally dismissed me. I told the production team and they went to ask other designers if they had room for one more model, and they all said no. The production team offered me a role as a hostess so I could still collect the paycheck, but I turned that down because that wasn’t what I signed up for. I wound up leaving the venue, unpaid and livid.
I canceled the hotel my mom booked for me, and I called my mom to update her about what happened. Since I still had the rental until the next day, I drove it back to San Diego where I slept for the night. Then I got up the next morning, drove back to LA where I met my mom at the car rental return. It turned out that my mom had been very generous and drove her car down to lend it to me for the semester, so there was still some good that came of this story.
Obstacles/Challenges in Law School
Going to law school is unlike any other educational experience I’ve had. As much as law school is an equalizer that brings together the highest achievers from all personal, educational, and professional backgrounds, it still presents its challenges. Compared to undergrad, the expectations are higher, the overall investment is greater, and the competition is stiffer. Getting through undergrad was almost effortless for me, but law school has forced me to regularly evaluate my study habits and adjust to a new way of analyzing critical issues. There have been days when I didn’t feel I belonged in law school and I questioned what I would do if I failed as a law student or lawyer. Overcoming these negative thoughts and feelings of inadequacy has had the greatest influence on my ability to persist and succeed.
It’s also been frustrating to be so reliant on student loans, knowing that I’ll owe tens of thousands of dollars by the time I finish. In undergrad, I had the help of my mother and two part-time jobs to offset expenses; in law school, I refuse to burden my parents with my expenses and I can’t even imagine trying to hold down a job between the hours of studying I do. For right now, all I can do is continue to apply for scholarships, educate myself on repayment and forgiveness options, and try to keep my expenses down.
Another struggle has simply been navigating law school as a person of color. It’s not fun being the only black person in a class or hearing a fellow classmate or professor quote an old court opinion that uses the term “negro”. It’s annoying how many times I’ve been mixed up with other black students (often who bear no resemblance to me) like we don’t all have our own identities. It’s degrading to have an instructor (who also happens to be a judge) make a mockery of Jim Crow and the serious harm that it caused for years. While this is only my experience as a black law student, I’ve heard of similar instances happening to other underrepresented groups. Some people might prefer to turn a blind eye to these problems or minimize them to the point of erasure, but in reality, all of these actions (and reactions) reinforce an ideology that people of color people aren’t welcome in this field. Overcoming these kinds of challenges has to happen on a systemic level, and it may take generations to see even a little bit of progress.
Any advice for other women, particularly young women who are just starting their journey?
Advice – Modeling
1. The number one rule of modeling is to never pay to do it! Don’t spend money on modeling schools or expensive photographers when you’re just starting out. There are plenty of photographers who are also in the early phases of their careers who will do a “trade” where both the model and photographer are essentially compensated in the form of exposure. Also, beware of any fashion show that asks models to sell tickets, especially if you’ll be responsible to pay for any unsold tickets. It’s extra work for you as a model, and you really should consider how a fashion show with an audience full of models’ families will help your career anyway.
2. Know your circuit and how you are likely going to fit in. For example, in my experience, San Diego tends to be a little less cutthroat than LA, and I’m willing to guess that LA is less cutthroat than NY. I’m not sure if it’s just the individual designers I worked with, but I had never been treated in San Diego the way that I had been treated in Irvine and LA. I use those experiences as lessons that I may just not be cut out for work in those cities or with those designers.
3. The decision whether to seek agency representation really depends on how serious you are about modeling. If modeling is only a hobby and you don’t really care about doing it professionally or for consistent pay, then take the time to learn the industry yourself and go freelance. Freelancing may be especially good if you have other everyday responsibilities, like working or going to school full-time. If you want to try to take your career to the next level, then reach out to agencies about their procedures for open calls and submissions and network with scouts at local fashion events. Walk every runway show like there’s a scout in the audience. Also, beware of the terms of contracts. Be sure to have someone who knows about contracts review it with you.
4. Practice, practice, practice! You have to practice walking, posing, and facial expressions until you master them. After all, your ability to master these three things is a huge part of your brand. It’s great to practice in front of a mirror, and eventually, those walks, poses, and facials will become muscle memory so that you can perform them at casting calls, photoshoots, and runway shows, without needing a mirror. The goal is to develop an awareness of your body movements and angles so that you know what works best for you. Don’t be afraid to look for inspiration coaches in magazines and on YouTube.
Advice – Law School
1. Getting in is hard but be prepared for the fact that staying in might be harder. Depending on what school you go to, be sure to note their policies about minimum GPA maintenance requirements. Some schools automatically cut the lowest ranking members of the first-year class without the opportunity of redemption. In other schools where the GPA maintenance requirements may not be as rigorous, you also need to make sure you’re mentally prepared for the stamina that it takes to stay in law school without burning out. Law school is like running a marathon and you have to know how to pace yourself.
2. Beware of schools that offer scholarships with several conditions attached to them. A 50% scholarship with only one condition (usually a reasonable GPA maintenance requirement) may be better than a 75% scholarship with 25 conditions. One school that I got into offered me a very nice scholarship, larger than what I receive at Davis, in fact. But the scholarship had so many conditions attached to it, some of which I just thought were a little too stringent. For example, if I accepted the scholarship and enrolled at this school, and then decided to transfer to a better school after my first year, then I would have to repay the full amount of scholarship money I received in the first year. This was one of many terms that I just couldn’t agree to.
3. Don’t fall for the hype. Some people in law school just feel they have something to prove and will say and do things that might make you feel inadequate. For example, if someone asks you what you did over the weekend, and you tell them that you did a little outlining then hung out with family, don’t take the bait if they say they outlined for 12 hours on Saturday and read for the next three weeks on Sunday. Depending on what point in the semester it is and how well you budget your study time, you most likely are not behind and don’t need to lock yourself in a study room for hours to catch up. Again, just pace yourself, keep up with readings, brief your cases, and try to stay on top of your outlines.
4. Become a student representative for a bar prep course as early as possible. Often times, student reps are compensated with discounted (or even free) bar prep courses after they graduate. The student rep jobs are usually low commitment and will save you hundreds of dollars in bar-related expenses.
Please tell us more about what you do, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
Modeling
As far as modeling, I do runway and photoshoots. I’m pretty versatile and can do everything from editorial to catalog, and I’d love to try fitness modeling one day. What really sets me apart is my energy. I’m not afraid to try something weird or unusual if it means getting a great shot. I also work well with photographers and take direction well, but I also work well independently.
Law Student
Since I’m still a law student and I’m not licensed to practice law in California or any other jurisdiction, I cannot represent any clients
Do you have any advice for finding a mentor or networking in general? What has worked well for you?
Modeling
I personally think the best mentors are usually the designers/stylists. After all, it’s their vision that you are bringing to life. The more that you can get to know what a designer or stylist does and doesn’t like, the better off you’ll be and the more likely they’ll want to work with you in the future. Other models with a lot of experience might be good mentors for walking and posing techniques. The best networking opportunities for models are at fashion-related events: fashion shows, after-parties, castings, fashion relates galas banquets, etc.
Law School
Depending on where you live, you might be surrounded by lawyers. If not, consider visiting your local courthouse and find out which hearings on calendar for that day are open to the public. Listen closely to the attorneys and the judge and note two or three things that interest you so you have something to say to start up a conversation. Make sure the attorney is not emotional or focused on something else when you try to approach them. It might a good idea to wait until the court adjourns for the day. If you want to get in touch with a judge, check out your local bar association and reach out to see if someone can put you in contact.
Once you’re in law school, there may be some kind of formal or informal mentorship program. Often times, even if the school itself doesn’t sponsor a mentorship program, other organizations within the school might have their own. For example, the Law Students Association (student body government) has a mentorship program to pair first-year students with upperclassmen.
As with most other professional endeavors, networking opportunities are all around you. You never know who your professor or even fellow classmate might know well enough to set you up for a coffee meeting or phone conversation. Also, take advantage of alumni events. Alumni are probably your biggest supporters (aside from family and friends). Active alumni like to give back to the next generation. Also, schools and student organizations frequently host mixers for a specific practice area or interests (i.e., criminal law, employment law, intellectual property, etc.). Keep your eyes out for these opportunities. And if all else fails, don’t be afraid to ask your career services office.
Image Credit:
Photographers: Alisa Lenn Photography, Derrick Rodgers, Onesha Photography, Pasha Hamasian, Sherman Taylor, Designers/Stylists: Laura Sanchez, Tanya Jenkins, Hair/Make-Up Artists: Jennifer Nicole, LaChanda Gatson
Suggest a story: SDVoyager is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
