We recently had the chance to connect with Christopher J. Sunnen, Esq., CFLS and have shared our conversation below.
Christopher J., so good to connect and we’re excited to share your story and insights with our audience. There’s a ton to learn from your story, but let’s start with a warm up before we get into the heart of the interview. What do you think others are secretly struggling with—but never say?
Modern life is very difficult, since 2020 there have been innumerable large scale stressors for people with their jobs, lives, the world order – everything is changing so fast, which makes everything seem uncertain. As a result of this people have innumerable internal struggles, even when externally, they look like they have everything together. As a family law attorney, I hear these type of issues from adults and at times children, and I see people at the breaking point of relationships, trying to hold it together for their kids, or just out of habit. Beneath the anger or the legal fight, there’s often grief, fear, and depression that never get named out loud. I also see it outside the courtroom — parents juggling too much, spouses drifting apart but pretending they’re fine, young adults trying to find their place, and even grandparents feeling unseen. Everyone’s carrying something heavy, but we live in a culture that rewards “strength” and punishes vulnerability. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that most people aren’t looking for perfect answers — they just want to feel heard and reminded that they’re not alone in the struggle.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’m Christopher J. Sunnen, a Certified Family Law Specialist and founder of Sunnen Law in San Diego. I grew up in San Diego County, attended a local high school, and was very involved in the community working on a number of public service projects. After college, I worked to protect the public as a park ranger at a national park and a state park. Working as a park ranger taught me a great deal of patience, compassion, and how to stay calm in moments of crisis. These skills have become necessary tools in and outside the coutroom as a lawyer. I graduated from Washington University in St. Louis with honors; and also clerked for a Federal Magistrate Judge in the Eighth Federal Circuit in 2004. After working for the Judge, I knew I wanted to return to America’s Finest City, and have been here since, and eventually, opened my own practice. I like to think what makes my firm unique is that we combine strong advocacy with empathy. We’re not just fighting legal battles; we’re helping people rebuild their lives and move forward. I also serve as Minor’s Counsel, representing children directly in custody disputes — work that reminds me daily why I chose this path: to give a voice to those who might otherwise go unheard.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: What breaks the bonds between people—and what restores them?
In my experience, what breaks the bonds between people isn’t usually one major event — it’s the slow erosion of connection. Communication fades, empathy gives way to ego, and people stop listening to understand and start listening to defend. Over time, resentment fills the spaces where curiosity and compassion used to live.
What restores those bonds is often much simpler, but harder to practice: honesty, humility, and consistency. Real repair starts when both people stop trying to “win” and start trying to understand. Whether in marriage, co-parenting, or even within extended families, healing happens when people take responsibility for their part, rebuild trust through small actions, and make space for grace.
As someone who’s spent years helping families navigate conflict, I’ve learned that relationships don’t fall apart because people stop loving each other — they fall apart because they stop feeling safe with each other. Restoring that sense of safety — through patience, truth, and empathy — is where healing truly begins.
Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
Family law is a high conflict area that wears most importantly on the parties that are in the cases, and then can easily bleed over onto attorneys. Without proper barriers, clients will call literally at all hours of the day from 3 p.m. to 3 a.m. If you are not careful, you can get burnt out easily, because you’re dealing with people at some of the lowest points in their lives, and it can be emotionally draining if you don’t have balance. After working in this field for many years, I found that I had to go back to the training I received as a park ranger, which focuses on compartamentalizing issues to address them in order of priority, as well as keeping a safe emotional distance. I’ve also been very fortunate to have an amazing wife who listens to my concerns after a difficult day, as well as excellent support from friends. At the end of the period of difficult, what kept me going was remembering why I started — to help families, and especially children, find stability when everything around them feels uncertain.
Alright, so if you are open to it, let’s explore some philosophical questions that touch on your values and worldview. What are the biggest lies your industry tells itself?
I think the biggest lie that Family Law Attorneys tell themselves or their clients is that there is “winning”. These are not for example, civil cases where a contract may be in dispute – these are cases that are about people’s lives. Even when a party in a divorce is “winning”, there are always aspects of loss that may affect their children, their finances, their time, their mental health, or something else that they may not have thought of. In a perfect world, I would like to see more attorneys tell their clients that the concept of “winning” is not what they should be fixated on in a divorce or child custody case.
Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. If you retired tomorrow, what would your customers miss most?
If I retired tomorrow, I think my clients would miss having someone who genuinely listens — not just to the facts of their case, but to the human story behind it. Family law isn’t just legal work; it’s helping people through some of the hardest, most emotional transitions of their lives.
They’d probably miss my directness and calm under pressure too. I’ve always believed in being honest with clients, even when the truth is tough to hear, and guiding them with both strategy and empathy. My goal has always been to make sure every person who walks through my door feels supported, understood, and stronger than when they arrived.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.sunnen-law.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sunnenlaw/?hl=en
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sunnen-law-san-diego-divorce-and-family-law-89121b23b
