We’re looking forward to introducing you to Autumn Marie. Check out our conversation below.
Autumn, it’s always a pleasure to learn from you and your journey. Let’s start with a bit of a warmup: What is something outside of work that is bringing you joy lately?
Lately I’ve been really passionate about painting, I’ve been experimenting with UV reactive paints and it’s been so fun to create something that comes to life with the hit of a light switch!
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Yes! I’m an educator and artist. As a teacher, I inspire curiosity in my students ranging from kindergarten to retirement in subjects like science, math, and neurodivergent accessibility. As an artist, I’ve come to realize that, while I love painting, songwriting and performing, at the pinnacle of it all I am my own masterpiece. The hair colors I’m constantly cycling through, the outfits and styling I put together with care and intent, the way I’ve decorated my room, the way I dance, the way I hold myself, I do all of this with the desire to be a walking piece of art. My identity has become one of nurturing my inner voice and cultivating art in everything I do.
Great, so let’s dive into your journey a bit more. Who were you before the world told you who you had to be?
I’ve always been a performer, excited to share my songs, dance, and story with an audience. When I was young, I wouldn’t be afraid to dance on a table, go door to door to share my latest song or invention with a neighbor. As I grew, I was told I was too much, too loud, and I was bullied a lot. I turned a lot of this inward, singing in the privacy of my car and dancing behind closed doors. Recently, I’ve been trying to step out of this societally-constructed box and back into the confidence I felt as a child.
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
Suffering, unfortunately, has been my greatest teacher. It is easy to ride on the tides of bliss and joy, to leave burdens and struggles at the door. But when life brings suffering, it brings reflection, awareness, and a desire to learn about the suffering so one can step out of it. I’ve been at the mercy of the school of suffering many times, but have learned to trust that the discomfort is forging me into a refined version of myself, it offers the chance to leave what isn’t working behind and move towards something more aligned. It’s taught me humility, compassion, and offered understanding of the human condition that allows me to relate with those I meet and offer genuine connection. Unfortunately, over the last 10 years I’ve lost four family members to suicide, and I grieve for the burdens of suffering these family members were carrying before it became too much to bear. I strive to alchemize my suffering into opportunities to open my heart, find gratitude, and release control.
Alright, so if you are open to it, let’s explore some philosophical questions that touch on your values and worldview. Is the public version of you the real you?
As the eldest daughter who performed perfectionism, I created a mask of myself that felt safe. I was raised in a conservative household wrought with instability, and wore this mask throughout high school, college, and my masters program thinking that being a “good girl” would lead to a good life. However, the longer I wore this mask, the more I abandoned myself, the more I lost sight of what really ignited my soul and reinvigorated my passion for life. I used to cover my rainbow hair with a wig and hide my tattoos at work, fearing I’d be marked as a pariah as I had been when I was an expressive child. However, over time, the mask began to itch, slip, and bring more pain than relief. Slowly but surely, I began dipping my toe in the “taboo” and each decision rooted in self-exploration saw the mask fall more and more. I am happy to say that now I feel like the Autumn I am in public is authentic to the Autumn resting in my heart, and I strive to embody my truth more fully each day.
Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. Have you ever gotten what you wanted, and found it did not satisfy you?
Absolutely! There are many instances where I’ve thought “If I just had ____” then I’d finally feel at peace, just to realize that I was so focused on reaching the goal that I didn’t truly ask myself if it was where I wanted to end up. And once I’m there, I find that all the weight I gave to the final destination falls flat. The answers I sought couldn’t be found through external shifts. The more I focused on the future and everything I thought it would deliver, the less I was able to be present and grateful for the moments I was currently moving through. I have worked to shift my focus on the present, asking myself, “How can I fully show up for myself today? How can I feel the peace that I’m seeking internally?” and this has led to less seeking and more reflection, acceptance, and gratitude for my day to day.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/autumn.mari3/
