April 21, 2021

Conquering Self-Sabotage with Dr. Candice Seti | Licensed Clinical Psychologist

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We’re so pumped about our conversation with Dr. Candice Seti. Dr. Seti is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and is also a content partner. Content partners help Voyage in so many ways from spreading the word about the work that we do, sponsoring our mission and collaborating with us on content like this. Check out our conversation with Dr. Candice below.

Hi Dr. Seti, thank you so much for sitting down with us again. For folks who might have missed our initial interview, can you start by briefly introducing yourself?
I am a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with a practice online and in San Diego. To supplement the work I do with my clients, I am also a Certified Nutrition Coach, a Certified Weight Management Specialist, a Certified Expert Life Coach, a Certified Personal Trainer, and a Certified Insomnia Treatment Clinician. In my practice, I work one-one-one with individuals, helping them understand their maladaptive behaviors and thought patterns, while replacing them with a healthier perspective that allows them to overcome self-sabotage and thrive in their lives. I also provide services online via video counseling as well as providing numerous do-it-yourself programs addressing weight loss, binge eating, insomnia, and specialty populations like PCOS and menopause. My primary goal is to help my patients understand their barriers and achieve success– through behavioral lifestyle, and cognitive changes. My previous book, Shatter the Yoyo, provides readers with unique strategies, tips, and tricks on weight management, that can be incorporated into a long-term healthy lifestyle, instead of a short-term regimen that sets you up to regain weight.

Congratulations on the publishing of your new book! Can you tell us a little about it?
Thank you! And yes, I am so excited about it! It is called The Self-Sabotage Behavior Workbook: A Step-by-Step Program to Conquer Negative Thoughts, Boost Confidence, and Learn to Believe in Yourself. It is essentially a guidebook for those seeking self-improvement in their health and wellness, their relationships, their career, and/or their finances. It starts by helping readers understand the behaviors that fall into the category of self-sabotage and how these behaviors develop and reinforce themselves. It then guides them through learning how their own personal self-sabotage is impeding their growth and in what specific areas their self-sabotage is standing in the way of their overall wellness. Finally, it takes them through the step-by-step process of fighting their self-sabotage and developing new and healthy behavioral patterns to achieve success in all areas of life.

I know you focus a lot on weight management in your practice, so why the new focus on self-sabotage?
Good question! Almost everyone that struggles to maintain their weight doesn’t struggle because they don’t know how to be healthy. They struggle because they self-sabotage. So, my focus on weight management really has been just a specific application of addressing self-sabotage. With my weight management clients, we end up addressing self-sabotage in so many other areas of their life as well, so I’ve essentially been focused on this topic for quite some time!

Are there different types of self-sabotage or different sabotage styles?
Oh yes! In my book, I identify 9 different self-sabotage styles and offer self-assessments to help readers learn their own particular style, or combination of styles. It is so important to figure this out because, once you understand your own personal self-sabotage style, you can start to pay more attention and see it in action; understanding how and when it manifests in your life. This understanding is key to making change.

What is a common example that many people can relate to of self-sabotage?
The Procrastinator is probably the most well-known example of self-sabotage, especially with all the distraction opportunities that exist today, right at our fingertips. But many people who describe themselves as procrastinators don’t realize that it is actually a way we sabotage ourselves. They think things like “I just work better under pressure” without realizing that these statements are really excuses to continue our sabotaging behavior. Procrastination ultimately sabotages by creating unproductive time and making us internalize the thought of being an unproductive person. It also never lets you get ahead. When you live by procrastination’s rules, you tend to always do the bare minimum, because you haven’t given yourself enough time to do more. So, you ‘meet’ and never ‘exceed.’

The Self-critic is another pretty common example many people can relate to. The Self-Critic is constantly analyzing their own behavior and beating themselves up for their shortfalls. Being overly self-critical can be can self-sabotage by setting you up to have low self-esteem and making you unwilling to push yourself or branch out. If you beat yourself up and start believing you’re not worthwhile, you don’t have any drive to push yourself harder, to expose yourself to anything new, or to even find the energy to achieve your existing goals. Without the drive, you lose all ability to propel yourself forward.

How can someone start combatting their self-sabotage immediately?
Well, the first step is to really understand how you self-sabotage. I encourage people to first start paying attention to those negative thoughts in their head; the ones that say “don’t do it,” “put it off,’ or “you’ll never succeed.” Those thoughts that set you up to criticize yourself or think negatively about your capabilities or your future. And start tracking those thoughts. See where the repetition comes up to truly understand your own personal brand of self-sabotage. Another important note is that most of our self-sabotaging thoughts are not rational or based on facts and data. So, the best way to fight them and create change is to respond to them with rational thoughts and facts/data. If your self-sabotage is telling you “put it off till later,” you can respond by saying, “I’ll feel better if I get it done now” or “If I don’t put it off, I’ll have more time to put into it to make it even better.” Because these thoughts are rational, they are hard to dispute.

Do you have personal experience with self-sabotage?
Of course! I think everyone does! I have always struggled with procrastination and I definitely used to sabotage myself when it came to my own personal weight management. I have been able to manage these tendencies by using so many of the tools and strategies I outline in my book.

It was so great to reconnect. One last question – how can our readers connect with you, learn more or support you?
Of course! They can visit my website at www.MeOnlyBetter.com. They can also find me on social media at: https://www.facebook.com/WeightLossPsychologist
https://www.instagram.com/weightlosstherapist/
https://twitter.com/WeightTherapist