Inspiring Conversations with Natalie Blue of Natalie Blue Therapy – therapy is cool club

Today we’d like to introduce you to Natalie Blue

Hi Natalie, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
I’m a marriage and family therapist associate (AMFT#: 140894), life coach and owner of therapy is cool club (a line of merchandise to aid in de-stigmatizing what it means to be going to therapy). Here is my story… sorry it’s not very brief.

It was my ninth therapist who told me that I needed to consider becoming a therapist. It’s hard to imagine that I could have potentially ignored her statement and denied myself the feeling of living out what I know now I am meant to do. To understand, we have to go back in time because weaved beautifully throughout my life are meaningful interactions with nine therapists. Each of these encounters planted seeds inside of me that grew and ultimately produced change. My career and overall contentment with my life are direct results of these nine different therapists.

When I was fourteen years old my dad and I noticed changes in my mom. We would go out in the backyard and talk about each change we saw. My dad had more insight into what might be happening. My mom used to lie in bed with him at night and say, “John, I don’t feel right. Something is happening.” Together we noticed she was not as happy as she used to be and was becoming more forgetful. Things like getting lost on her way to her best friend’s house or not knowing what month we were in became normal in our small family of three. Frequent doctor visits just made our family more confused about what was happening to our mom. Life continued. I was busy being a high school student, volleyball player, and frequent beach goer.

My dad worked as a real estate appraiser, and our two little dogs played in the yard and barked at the mailman. I started school at Point Loma Nazarene University in 2009. I played on the volleyball team so I had a busy first semester. When I went home for Christmas break, therapist number one from the Alzheimer’s Association greeted us in a tall medical building saying, “I would like to welcome you to our class where you will learn how to live with someone who has Alzheimer’s disease.”

That was my first interaction with a therapist. It was also the moment I learned my mom had been diagnosed with early on-set Alzheimer’s while I was away at school. After learning that Alzheimer’s is terminal and that there is no cure, I jumped into the role of my mother’s caregiver at age seventeen. I would drive from campus to Orange County every Thursday night and wouldn’t return until early Monday morning. In the beginning that meant reminding her what day it was and going with her to get her nails done. It quickly turned into much more than that. Within a year my mom no longer knew who my dad or I was.

I was sent to see therapist number two when my grades at Point Loma started to drop. I had cognitively lost my mom and, at the same time, I lost my dad as he took over the 24/7 job of being my mom’s full time caregiver. My time spent with therapist number two contained discussions of abandonment and an introduction to grief. It ended with a depression diagnosis and a prescription. The biggest take away from my time with therapist number two was our decision that I should continue to live my life as a college student and give up the role of being my mom’s caregiver. I tried my best to be a normal college student in the years that followed but it was hard to relate to my peers when no one could understand what I was going through.

After a mostly positive experience with therapist number two, I sought out therapist number three on my own. She was the one who taught me the art of visualization. She was a sweet old lady who had also lost her mom at a young age. She helped me process college relationships, get off of the prescription drugs and pulled out the desire inside of me to use my situation for good and to help other people. It was my time with her that motivated me to start a blog that would ultimately receive over 30,000 views from 14 different countries and hundreds of messages from young adults thanking me for sharing my intimate thoughts and experiences about the disease that was killing my mom.

After college I went on to work for the Alzheimer’s Association where I would tell my story for a living. I would speak on the news, at local businesses, company retreats, large events, and small intimate gatherings. Since I had given up being one of my mom’s caregivers, this was my way of doing my part and trying to make a difference. This was also the time I started going to see therapist number four. Therapist number four was my post-college, pre-unhealthy-marriage therapist who used meditation and forms of spirituality to address my continued struggle with depression.

Insert boyfriend, fiancé, and then husband. We met on a blind date while I was at Point Loma, and everything seemed to be perfect. He had the big, close-knit family I had always wanted. He made the lonely, abandoned feeling inside me a little less painful. Before signing the marriage papers, we saw therapist number five and six together. Both five and six offered cheesy exercises for us to perform to ensure that we were “compatible.” Neither therapist seemed capable of preparing us for marriage and were therefore not seen more than two times each.

Fast forward to my husband and I giving up on finding a premarital therapist and agreeing to just jump in and give it our best shot. Of course, our best was not good enough. So, two years into our struggling marriage, I suggested we try to find another therapist. This is how we started seeing therapist number seven. She was one of the most influential therapists because she set the example of exactly how I would not want to treat clients as a therapist. She was strict and cold. She either ignored or didn’t recognize the obvious signs of toxicity happening in our marriage. We stuck it out with her for over a year because my husband agreed with a lot of the things she had to say.

We continued to struggle in our relationship. As a result, I did what had become my natural instinct at this point. I found another therapist. My husband and I met with therapist number eight in a church storage closet. After our first time meeting with her, I received a phone call from her the next day. When I answered the phone she asked me if I was alone. She had noticed something about our dynamic and needed to speak with me privately about it. It was this therapist, number eight, who taught me everything I needed to know about unhealthy relationship dynamics to be able to make my own decision. She coached me through how I was going to tell my husband that I was leaving him and showed me how I was fully capable of rebuilding my life on my own.

And so I did. I rebuilt my life and began to heal my invisible wounds with guidance from therapist number nine. I was given therapist number nine’s phone number as a recommendation from a friend. The first time I met with her I honestly said, “I don’t know where to even begin.” Number nine is the caring, loving, and empathetic therapist I think everyone dreams of finding. She sits in my grief and despair with me. She offers knowledge and practical tools to help me cope on my own in-between our sessions. She is also the person who told me that I should consider becoming a therapist and the reason I am writing this interview now…

My life experiences have all been woven together by these nine different therapists. I have seen first hand how impactful someone sitting on a couch across from you can be. My experience as a client affects my work with clients positively because I have been alone and in dark places before. Deep, deep sadness does not intimidate me. I can crawl into the hole with my clients and be with them in their own dark place. I also believe full heartedly in the therapeutic process. My life is a testament to how impactful it can be.

We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
My road to becoming a therapist has definitely not been smooth. Doing my own inner personal work was important to me because I knew I was going to want to be fully available to my clients. I had to learn how to heal my invisible wounds so that I could stop living my life out of a fear of abandonment. I remember when my therapist first suggested that I become a therapist, I immediately rejected the idea because I didn’t think I would be able to hear other peoples struggles and not have it impact my own life. I remember telling my therapist, “there is no way – I cry watching amazon commercials!” Graduate school was a struggle as well. I was rejected from multiple schools because my grades from my time at PLNU were not great (I was busy being a caregiver). I had to submit extra essays, get extra letters of recommendations and basically beg to be accepted.

We’ve been impressed with Natalie Blue Therapy – therapy is cool club, but for folks who might not be as familiar, what can you share with them about what you do and what sets you apart from others?
I’m a marriage and family therapist associate (AMFT#: 140894) with an in-person office in San Marcos, CA. I’m also a life coach where I meet with clients virtually that live outside of California. Last but not least, I’m the owner of therapy is cool club – a hat and merchandise brand designed to help de-stigmatize what it means to be going to therapy.

As a therapist and coach, I specialize in couples, individuals and grief therapy. I help couples repair broken trust and build secure connections with each other. I help individuals gain insight about who they are and why they are the way they are so that they can live, operate and make decisions from the most genuine version of themselves. I also offer support to individuals who are struggling to navigate grief and loss. I am known for being a therapist who is direct and gives it to you straight while also making you feel seen, known and deeply cared for.

I started therapy is cool club because, well, I think therapy is cool. The brand is, in my opinion, a small way to help de-stigmatize what it means to be going to therapy. The brand is made up of hats, tote bags and sweatshirts that were designed with clients, counselors, therapists and mental health lovers in mind. You might notice a lawn chair is always incorporated in TICC branding… when I thought about the concept of therapy is cool club I knew I needed a chair but I wanted a chair that would represent inclusivity and one that would feel relaxed, accessible, familiar and comfortable. I landed on this chair because to me this chair represents all types of people, from all types of backgrounds and is a chair that (most likely) we have all sat in before. Going to therapy should be easy, comfortable and accessible for everyone. why? — because therapy is cool

Can you talk to us a bit about the role of luck?
I’m not sure I believe in luck but I do believe that we all have a gut feeling inside us. This gut feeling is that soft voice that we sometimes dismiss or ignore. When I look back over my story, I’m grateful that I decided to finally take my gut feeling seriously and trust myself. Staying true to who I genuinely am helped me get lucky. I am incredibly lucky that I get to live out my dream job, help others and break the stigma of what it means to be going to therapy.

Pricing:

• therapy is cool club hats start at $32
• therapy is cool club totes are $25
• therapy sessions are $180
• life coaching (outside of CA) are $180

Contact Info:

• Website: https://nataliebluetherapy.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nataliebluetherapy/?hl=en
• Other: https://therapyiscoolclub.com