Today we’d like to introduce you to Melissa Rainey.
Melissa, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
After a dear friend passed and I was asked to plan his Celebration of Life memorial services I was honored to help his fiancé in planning a large scale Celebration of Life for him. We planned it in two and a half weeks and there were over 300 people there. By doing this, I saw firsthand how much grief mixed with the stress of planning a large event with a ton of moving parts in a short amount of time really doesn’t allow the person to grieve or even be present the day of the memorial.
In early 2016, I decided that I wanted to follow my desire to be of service to others as well as tap into my creativity by planning and coordinating events. So I quit my corporate career and took a risk in starting Eternally Loved. I realized my sanity, passion, happiness, and desire to help others especially in their biggest time of need were worth leaving the 9-5.
I needed to follow my heart and shift my focus into helping families and friends in their times of need. I have been honored to be able to plan beautiful events that honored their loved ones. I saw how much having a planner helped his significant other and his friends since they were going through their time of grief. Even though I was too, I have a skill that could be put to use. Also it made me question, why is it so common to have a wedding planner where they have a year or more to plan usually and have all the same aspects as a memorial (event wise)? What I mean by that is there are flowers, officiants, venue, food and beverage, programs, audio visual, musicians, etc for both type of celebrations BUT with a memorial you are grieving, and usually only have 2-4 weeks to plan? Why aren’t there more planners offering help with memorials? In my research I have only found 3 other companies in the US that specifically offer Memorial or Celebration of Life Planning from Event Coordinators and no one in San Diego offering this kind of service. I saw a crucial need for something, found that I was good at it, and loved doing it.
Since the beginning of 2016 I have been honored to help multiple families in planning and coordinating their loved ones memorials. I also had an amazing experience planning a “Living Memorial” for a terminally ill woman last year. I helped a few people put on Pet Memorials to really show their love their pets that had passed away. I have set up a few pre-plan packets for very smart clients that are thinking ahead so they don’t have to leave their family with guesswork and stress.
I am married and have 2 dogs and 2 cats that I love dearly, and I am a grateful person that loves the fact that I get to help people and live every day with happiness in my heart because of it.
Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Eternally Loved has not had a smooth road. Being a small business with very little starting capital, marketing has been costly and not produced very much awareness in San Diego that we exist. Even though it makes sense to have a planner specialize in Memorial planning and coordinating, people have been doing it themselves forever. So I have been networking and paid a lot into social media marketing but I know the people in San Diego still don’t know that Eternally Loved is here to help.
Alright – so let’s talk business. Tell us about Eternally Loved – what should we know?
I am a Celebration of Life memorial planner that helps people honor the perfection of their loved ones life. By having Eternally Loved take care of planning and coordinating a memorial, I can relieve the stress while they are grieving so they can truly honor their loved ones amazing life.
After working with numerous clients I have seen that dealing with daily life while dealing with grief is very overwhelming. Having to worry about the 50 plus things you have to do to put together an amazing Celebration of Life that adds up to 70-80 hours of work is very stressful. To have Eternally Loved come in and take that off their plate is extremely helpful. But even more importantly, I have seen what a gift it is for them to be present at the memorial instead of worrying about the details of the event, before during and after.
A celebration of life is a more uplifting event that incorporates colors and themes to showcase the perfection of their life. Many people would prefer to have a Celebration of Life versus a funeral that can tend to be more somber and traditional. Ultimately I feel like a Celebration of Life’s purpose is it Celebrate the life that was lived, rather than just mourning the passing. Of course there still might be tears and sadness but ultimately the vibe and mood is celebratory to honor an amazing life.
I meet with the family at their home to find out more about what that person meant to them and more about who they were so I can tailor the memorial to these details. I also have the ability to work with their schedules and time constraints.
I am the point of contact for the family member. I do as much as they want or need me to do. I don’t just find a venue book a few vendors and see them there the day of the event. If they want to incorporate a take home gift, a slideshow, and a program, I am able to make those for them – from design to their approval, then pick them up and provide them at the Memorial. I do not want my clients to have to sit in front of a computer for hours trying to figure out a slideshow presentation program or running to multiple places picking up items. I do all of that for them. Also they will not be bombarded by vendors’ emails and phone calls- they all go through me.
When we are experiencing grief, we need to focus on other things. I am able to assist in decisions in a difficult time, it can be overwhelming to need to make decisions on what seems to be minor details.
I am a neutral and concerned mediator that works with family members and vendors while emotions are running high.
I want to help my clients know that they have honored their loved one in the most complete and respectful way possible.
I can relieve their anxiety of spending too much or fear of not spending enough. I have experience negotiating with vendors that I have established relationships with.
Eternally Loved has access to resources and relationships that help in having a quality memorial and still stay within their budgets.
Ultimately my goal is to lessen stress by letting my clients know that their responsibilities and the details of hosting a Celebration of Life are being handled while they are grieving.
Eternally Loved also offers coordination of Living Memorials, which is a great option for terminally ill patients that want to experience all the love from their family and friends while they are still here. I also do Pet Memorials, and offer pre-planning for people to leave their Memorial wishes for their family.
Everyone always asks me how did I get the idea to start this kind of company and provide this kind of service. I had a friend that past away from cancer about 2 years ago and his wife had asked me to help plan the Celebration of life since I have experience planning events. She is one of the smartest, most poised and organized people I know and when I sat down with her to find out what she wanted to incorporate in the Memorial she just looked blank. Right then I saw the need. Why do we have wedding planners that have a year to plan an event and with memorials we are grieving and usually have 2-3 weeks to coordinate an event with the same moving parts as a wedding?
I am most proud of planning and coordinating an amazing Living Memorial for a family that had therapy dogs, a comedian MC to help with a roast, 5 types of foods from her favorite restaurants, beautiful music was played and a slideshow. She was so grateful along with her family and friends and it gave me such a rush of joy to plan and coordinate it.
Is there a characteristic or quality that you feel is essential to success?
Empathy and hard work. Remembering the human connection and always focusing on the goal of honoring the perfection of someone life.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.eternallyloved.com
- Phone: 951-837-5242
- Email: melissa@eternallyloved.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eternallyloved_melissa/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eternallylovedcelebrations
- Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/eternally-loved-escondido-2
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