Today we’d like to introduce you to Mona Friday.
Hi Mona, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
My story began even before I was born. Four months before I came into the world, my birth father drowned. My mother, widowed with one child and pregnant with another, was just 19 years old when she remarried. I grew up carrying a grief that wasn’t mine, but that I somehow felt responsible for. My mom later told me that my first words were, “I’m mad.” I was a deeply unhappy, often depressed child who believed it was my duty to help carry the weight of her pain. Still, even with that heaviness, I always sensed that I had an important calling on my life.
My mom made it her mission to ensure my siblings and I graduated from high school—something she never got to do. I kept that promise to her. After graduation, I attended a technical school just outside Minneapolis, Minnesota, and became a certified florist. I loved the design work and had a natural talent for it, but the demands of the industry—especially during holidays—took a toll on me. Around that time, my brothers and cousin joined the military, and I felt inspired to explore that path myself.
I walked into the Army recruiter’s office and came out with a six-year contract, a guaranteed job as a photojournalist, and an assignment to Germany. I absolutely loved the Army. I thrived as a photojournalist, specializing in media relations. I took photos, processed my own film, edited newspapers, and worked closely with local media. My work took me to Croatia and Italy as part of a United Nations mission.
1994 was a breakout year in my military career:
I shot the cover of the Southern Bell phone book
I was named Soldier of the Quarter
I contributed to a PBS Nature Scene special
I worked on the movie Renaissance Man, directed by Penny Marshall and starring Danny DeVito, Mark Wahlberg, and Kadeem Hardison. Mark & Kadeem often referred to me as Sgt.Rat Out, because I had to correct them anytime they weren’t in proper uniform or not behaving in a manner that a private in the Army would behave. That was my contribution to helping the movie be more authentic to Army life.
I served as the liaison between the media and command during the Army’s first gender-integrated basic training battalions at Ft. Jackson, SC
At the height of this fast-paced and high-achieving chapter of my life, I was diagnosed with breast cancer at just 26 years old. It was devastating. I had been preparing to submit my drill sergeant packet and had climbed the ranks from Private (E-1) to Staff Sergeant (E-6) in just four years. But the cancer was caught early—thanks to my own intuition. I was single and on my own at the time, which allowed me to focus fully on treatment and recovery while working a modified schedule.
Within 18 months, I deployed to Croatia with the United Nations. Shortly after returning, I got married, became pregnant, and made the difficult decision to leave the Army.
Unfortunately, my post-military life took a dark turn. I found myself trapped in an extremely abusive relationship. It was bittersweet because I learned that getting pregnant after cancer treatment was nothing short of a miracle. For five years, I lived as a prisoner in my own home, terrified for my children and myself. After a chilling threat to our lives, I knew I had to escape. When he retired from the Air Force and moved away, he left our lives entirely—offering no contact, but thankfully, consistent child support.
A turning point came when my mother discovered I was eligible for benefits from the Veterans Administration. I applied, and the back pay gave me the stability I needed to rebuild. I earned my bachelor’s degree in elementary education from Salish Kootenai College in Pablo, Montana. Teaching allowed me to be on the same schedule as my children, and I spent six years teaching 3rd and 4th grade on the Flathead Indian Reservation in Polson, MT.
As my children prepared to leave the nest, so did I. I earned my master’s degree in health psychology from Grand Canyon University and, in the summer of 2016—after both kids left home—I made a bold move to San Diego. A year later, I launched my personal coaching business.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
Starting my own business wasn’t the smooth transition I had imagined. In fact, it turned out to be one of the most difficult and heartbreaking chapters of my life. I unknowingly partnered with someone who turned out to be a conman. Because we had several mutual friends, I trusted him. We were building a nonprofit together, and he offered to help me grow my coaching business alongside it. What I didn’t know—until it was far too late—was that he had spent time in both state and federal prison. By the time the truth came to light, he had taken thousands of dollars from me, from my friends, and even from a community fundraiser we organized for local San Diego churches. At the same time, I was in a romantic relationship that I knew, deep down, wasn’t right for me either. I had planned to leave, but just as I was preparing to end things, my partner was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. Against my better judgment, I stayed—not out of love, but out of guilt. I convinced myself that walking away while he was sick would make me a terrible person. In hindsight, I wish I had said, “I’ll stay and support you as a friend, but I cannot stay as your partner.”
By staying in both the business and romantic relationships, I betrayed the most important relationship of all—the one with myself. I abandoned my values, my intuition, and my boundaries. So it was no surprise, though still deeply painful, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time—nearly 25 years after the first.
The day I sat in the hospital receiving my first round of chemo, I called my mom. She told me the doctors believed she had lung cancer. In her usual mix of resilience and humor, she said, “Maybe we can do chemo together.” Just two weeks later, I traveled to Arizona to be with her. But by the time I arrived, she had slipped into a coma. She passed away the next day.
My hair had just started to fall out from the chemo. I covered my head with a hat so that no one would notice—I didn’t want to take any attention away from my mom. Those final moments with her were sacred, and I’m grateful I was there.
After she passed in February 2019, I made occasional trips to visit my dad (technically, my stepdad—but he’s the only father I’ve ever known). I finished my cancer treatment in June of that year, and by the end of 2019, I ended my relationship and moved to Arizona to care for him full-time. He had both Parkinson’s disease and COPD, and he was grieving the loss of the woman he’d spent his entire adult life with. I couldn’t, in good conscience, let him live alone.
We moved to Phoenix to be closer to the Muhammad Ali Parkinson Center, so he could get the best care available. My daughter and her young family lived just four miles from our home, and despite the challenges, that season of life was special. It was the beginning of the pandemic, and my dad and I bonded deeply during that time and I was a grandma for the first time.
Thanks to my background in education and health psychology, I was able to support my dad, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally. He opened up to me in ways he never had before. He shared stories and struggles that had weighed on him for decades. It was a privilege to witness that kind of healing.
In December 2020, my dad passed away suddenly. Thankfully, I was by his side until the very end. The gift of being there for both of my parents in their final chapters is something I will always cherish.
After my dad passed away and my daughter moved away, I returned to San Diego—but I wasn’t okay. Grief had compounded on top of trauma, and I was struggling with PTSD in a very real, relentless way. I was emotionally exhausted. Spiritually depleted. And I knew I couldn’t move forward without help.
Thankfully, the Veterans Administration became a vital source of support. I leaned on them heavily—for medical care, for counseling, and for tools to help me process the layers of loss, betrayal, and trauma I’d carried for far too long.
Over the years, the VA has been instrumental in helping me heal and grow. They supported my educational journey and provided me access to multiple therapeutic modalities, including:
Mantram Repetition for Rapid Stress Reduction, which I not only practiced but eventually co-taught at the VA hospital in La Jolla, California
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
And other evidence-based techniques that helped me calm my nervous system and reconnect with my purpose
These practices didn’t just help me survive—they helped me remember who I was. They brought me back to the core of my work: helping others find peace, healing, and hope within themselves.
I’ve always believed in the power of teamwork and the importance of giving back to the communities I’ve called home. After my second journey through breast cancer, I was honored to collaborate with San Diego County District Attorney Summer Stephan and the dedicated staff at the CARE Community Center—an extension of the DA’s Office—on a meaningful project. Together, we created and facilitated an annual Community Health & Wellness Fair that focused on breast cancer awareness and domestic violence prevention.
From 2019 to 2021, I had the privilege of sharing my personal story and the tools that helped me heal. Offering hope and guidance to others reminded me that my struggles weren’t just mine to bear—they could become part of someone else’s path to strength and resilience. It was a powerful reminder that when we show up for each other, healing becomes a collective experience.
Because I was able to heal, my heart opened up and I was divinely lead to a new, wonderful romantic partner who loves me and supports me in all I do.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I’m the founder of Happiness by Design, a heart-centered coaching practice rooted in the science of Positive Psychology and the healing power of breathwork. I specialize in helping people calm their nervous systems, reconnect with their core values, and communicate with emotional intelligence, clarity, and grace. My work is deeply informed by both personal experience and professional training, which includes a certification in breathwork and a certification in positive psychology coaching —I’ve overcome trauma, cancer, military service challenges, domestic violence, and personal reinvention, and I bring all of that lived wisdom to the people I serve.
I guide people in designing lives they want to live—lives filled with purpose, self-compassion, strength, and joy. I help clients uncover their top character strengths, identify emotional triggers, and build habits that support long-term resilience and well-being. I’m known for blending evidence-based techniques with deep empathy and lived experience. Whether I’m leading breathwork sessions, one-on-one coaching, group programs or a keynote speaker, I create a space that’s calming, affirming, and transformational.
My path has been anything but conventional. I am a survivor, a military veteran, a mother of two adult children and two grandchildren, a teacher, and a woman of faith who rebuilt her life more than once. I don’t just coach from a textbook—I coach from the trenches, from a place of true understanding. My background in education, health psychology, and trauma-informed coaching gives me the unique ability to meet people where they are and walk with them toward where they want to be. I also offer an integrative approach: my sessions often combine breathwork, values-based coaching, emotional regulation, and character strengths practices.
I’m most proud that my brand gives people permission to slow down, breathe deeply, and come home to themselves. I’ve built something that’s not flashy or performative—it’s real, soulful, science-backed, and sustainable. Happiness by Design isn’t about chasing feel-good moments; it’s about intentionally building a life that feels aligned from the inside out.
I offer my services as a public speaker, private coaching, breathwork sessions, workshops, a signature mini-program, and a one-session game-changer called The Personalized Happiness Habit Plan, where clients explore their top character strengths and begin creating their personalized happiness blueprint. I also work with corporate teams, schools, nonprofits, and communities to bring emotional wellness into everyday spaces.
If you’re carrying stress, grief, or self-doubt—and you’re ready to shift from survival to thriving—I want you to know: there’s a gentler way forward. You don’t have to do it alone. You don’t have to rush. Together, we’ll design a life that reflects who you truly are. Come breathe with me and let’s reason together.
What would you say have been one of the most important lessons you’ve learned?
The most important lesson I’ve learned is this: you can’t abandon yourself and expect to be at peace. For years, I put others’ needs, pain, and expectations ahead of my own—whether it was trying to carry my mother’s grief, staying in relationships that dimmed my spirit, or silencing my gut instincts out of guilt. It took illness, heartbreak, and loss for me to finally understand that true healing begins when we stop betraying ourselves and start listening inward. I’ve learned that peace isn’t something you chase—it’s something you create when you live in alignment with your values, honor your boundaries, and give yourself the compassion you so freely give to others. That’s what I teach now: how to come home to yourself, fully and unapologetically.
Pricing:
- Free 30 minute consultation
- Personalized Happiness Habit Plan $125 (1 session)
- On-Time 60 Minute Session $125
- Happiness by Design 4-Week Group Course $297
- Speaking Engagements; Corporate Events; Tailored Programs: cost is variable and depends on the specific elements and level of customization needed to meet unique needs
Contact Info:
- Website: Monavationsconsulting.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mondayfriday2002/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mona.lammers.friday
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mona-friday-ms-2584a47a/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@monavationsconsulting
Image Credits
Rasha Asfour; Carina Fleckner; John Boren
